Back To The Start
by MonaGirl
Summary: "I wish you had been there [in high school] for real. My life would have been so much better." Brooke to Julian in 9.12. This statement has inspired me to write a story about what could have been if they really had met in high school. How would it have changed their lives in the future? #Brulian. Please read and review! [COMPLETED!]
1. Chapter 1

**Brooke's POV**

 **Tree Hill High School, Cafeteria**

"I'm going to fail and eventually have to leave high school!"

"Show me your test! It can't be that bad."

I handed my best friend Haley my math test so she could see for herself what a loser I was. From her expression, I could tell she was as shocked by the result as I was.

"Wow, a 'D'. I can't remember that you ever had been that bad."

She was right. I couldn't remember either. Or, wait! That wasn't true. I had bad grades in scientific subjects before and almost had left school. But that was a few years ago, and this time it looked very bad for me. I had to come up with something. Just what? As if Haley could read my mind, she sighed suddenly.

"It doesn't work like that, Brooke Davis! We have to do something about it."

I knew it. We were not only best friends but also soulmates. "I want to become a famous fashion designer in the future. What do I need math for then?"

"I could list a whole bunch of things you need math for. Imagine, you want to bake a cake and don't even know how to calculate the quantities correctly. Or you go shopping and have to calculate, for example, if the amount the cashier has given you back is correct."

"Are you serious? You really recount the money?" I blurted out and immediately regretted it. Of course she did it. She was really picky about things like that.

"I've got an idea!"

She jumped up from her chair and grabbed my arms. From the glow in her eyes, I could see that she had apparently just found a solution to my problem.

"Brooke, that's it! You need tutoring lessons!"

I already hated the lessons in class. Now I should also sacrifice my free time for this torture? I shook my head determinedly. "I'm not taking any!"

"Why not? You know how important a good school education is. Especially if you want to have a good job later."

"You sound like my mother." I rolled my eyes. But secretly I knew she was right. I had to do something if I didn't want to fail this year. "All right," I sighed. "When do you have time to tutor me?"

"Me?!"

The astonishment in her face wasn't feigned. I could tell that. "Yeah sure, who else?"

"I would love to help you, but I already have five students, to whom I give tutoring lessons. That's why I have hardly any free time. Nathan complains that I don't have time for him anymore."

Nathan was her boyfriend. In fact, unlike Haley, I never had a real relationship. It was hard for me to commit to only one guy. Besides, I was still young and wanted to enjoy my life, which had given me the reputation of the 'high school slut'. But I didn't care. Let them talk. It was an illusion to believe that you could find 'the one' at the age of 16 or 17. Unless your name was Haley. She and Nathan were inseparable. And funnily, they had fallen in love when she had given him tutoring lessons. Speaking of tutoring...

"Why did you suggest that I take tutoring lessons?" I resumed the topic again. "If not you, who should teach me?"

"Look over there!"

I followed her finger as she pointed to one of the tables at the far end of the cafeteria. The table where the 'geeks' sat, as we called them. The computer freaks and nerds. They had only the best grades in all school subjects, but practically no free time. Perhaps one of the reasons why they have never participated in any sporting activities. Or better, no activities at all outside school. They practically lived like a shadow next to us normal high school students. Unobtrusive, invisible and in their own world.

"Have you lost your mind?" I exclaimed and saw Haley pouting her mouth.

"I think that's the solution to all your problems."

"Then I'd rather leave school before I go to one of those and make a fool of myself!" I shook my head so hard that my brown curls flew around my head.

"They are really okay, if you get to know them better."

"Who says that?" I asked suspiciously.

"Peyton."

Haley's expression clearly showed me how difficult it was for her to bring the conversation to my former best friend. Emphasizing on the former, because Peyton and I had been good friends for a very long time, before my 'best' friend had snatched my boyfriend away, for which I would hate her for all eternity!

"I'm sorry, Brooke! I shouldn't have mentioned Peyton."

I was a little sorry for her, because Haley was standing between Peyton and me and actually wanted to be friends with both of us. But sometimes things were just too complicated to be simple. I had kept my eyes on the 'geek' table all the time, and saw now one by one getting up from the chair and leaving the cafeteria. All but one, who had dipped his nose deep in a book and was shoveling his food into his mouth almost mechanically. "Okay, I'll do it!" I don't know why I suddenly changed my mind, but something almost magnetically dragged me to the boy with the book.

"Brooke, wait!"

Haley ran after me, and I turned to her. "Do you think I can't do it alone?"

"You forgot that."

She handed me the math test I left on the table.

"This is a good start for a conversation. Just show him your grade."

"Yeah, he'll probably give me some lessons for pity," I said, rolling my eyes.

"You can do this! We meet in classroom."

She smiled reassuringly at me, and I made my way to the table, noticing that I was gradually getting more and more nervous. I had almost reached the table when he raised his head and our eyes met. My first thought was that he had really beautiful dark brown eyes. Eyes that now looked at me startled and confused. I mustered all my courage and put my math test on the table right in front of him.

"I hear you're such a math genius," I started, trying to understand why he still looked at me like a timid deer. "And since I'm really bad at the moment and maybe even flung out of school, I thought you might be able to help me."

"I... um..."

I noticed his hand tremble slightly as he ran it through his thick, brown hair. Not exactly the reaction I expected. But what did I expect? I knew that the 'geeks' were all worldly innocent and had little contact with us 'normal'. So probably my direct nature had just scared him and he didn't know what to answer. But maybe I just started it all wrong. I put on my brightest smile and held out my hand to him.

"Brooke Davis."

"Yes, I know. The name is on top of your test."

He smiled at me and I felt a tingling sensation in my stomach. What a smile! I could only stare at him and barely noticed him taking my hand and squeezing.

"Julian Norris."

I turned and saw Haley, who was standing a few feet away with a big smile and probably watched us the whole time. Having come this far, I also had to take the next step. I took a free seat next to Julian and tapped my finger on the test.

"Okay, since we clarified that. Can you help me?"


	2. Chapter 2

**Brooke's POV**

 **Haley's house**

I had barely set foot into Haley's room when she closed the door and already bombarding me with her questions.

"So what did he say? Will he give you private lessons?"

"Sure." I shrugged casually to demonstrate that it really didn't matter to me.

"Cool!"

"Did you think he would reject me?" I asked, frowning.

"No, I didn't. I just thought you might back down."

I looked at her in surprise. She really seemed to believe that I was a coward. But didn't I clearly demonstrate just yesterday that I could overcome my inner laziness? Because honestly, I really didn't feel like taking extra math lessons.

"And when does it start?"

Haley had retreated to her bed with a bag of crisps and I sat next to her. "Tomorrow. I'm supposed to come to his house," I said, reaching into the bag and pulling out some crisps. "Can you come over to my place first and help me?"

"Help? With what?"

I quickly stuffed the crisps in my mouth and chewed quickly to answer her. "To choose the right clothes," I explained, reaching into the bag again.

"The right clothes?"

She looked at me as if I wasn't quite sane.

"You go to a private tutoring and not to a date!"

She was right. But anyway, I somehow felt the need to look nice. Of course for me, not for Julian or even his parents, who would presumably be present as well. "Haley, please!" I looked at her with puppy eyes from that I knew Haley wouldn't refuse me. And indeed it seemed to work again this time.

"Fine. When should I come over?"

Twenty-four hours later, I was a nervous wreck, though there was really no reason for nervousness. I went to a tutoring date and not to a romantic date! Although both felt almost the same at the moment. For the umpteenth time, I tugged at my skirt and blouse, which I had found in the back corner of my closet and usually wore on occasions like birthdays, Christmas, or to church.

"You look great!"

Haley danced around me enthusiastically. And I took the opportunity to check my hairstyle again. "Ponytail or rather loose hair?" I took the hair up and then dropped it again.

"Loose hair."

I dropped my hair back over my shoulder and tugged a few strands over my forehead. "Okay, that will do, I think."

"You don't look like the 'Brooke' I know."

"Is that good or bad?" I asked Haley directly and looked at myself in the mirror again. She was right. I really looked different.

"Good, I think. At least for today."

She was at least honest. I looked at the clock. "Oh shit, I'm really late. We had agreed by 2pm, and now it's almost shortly before it."

"He won't bite your head off, when you're a few minutes late."

From a few minutes to 20, when I finally arrived, sweating and panting, at the Norris' estate. I had no idea what Julian's parents did for a living, but at least they didn't seem to be completely poor. They also lived in the better area of Tree Hill. Another indication of wealth. I went up the stairs and rang the bell. I didn't have to wait long, when the door suddenly opened and a woman with reddish blond hair was standing in front of me. She glared at me with a scrutinizing look.

"Brooke Davis?"

I nodded and suddenly felt a sense of uneasiness. The way Julian's mother was staring at me proved that she apparently knew who I was, or about my reputation.

"Julian is upstairs and already waiting. Go up the stairs and then down the hall to the right. His room is at the very end."

And then she just turned away and left me alone. Tightening my bag in which I'd stowed my math stuff, I made my way upstairs. It was not hard to find Julian's room, and I knocked tentatively. When he opened the door and greeted me with a smile he compensated me for the frosty greeting his mother had given me.

"Come in!"

"I'm... sorry I'm late," I stuttered, entering his room.

"It's okay."

I put my bag down and looked around. Julian's room was so different from the other guys I knew. And I had already been able to inspect a lot of boy's rooms. Instead of trophies won at sports competitions, there were only shelves of books and DVDs in his room. Curious, I went to the shelf with the movies and reached into it. "The Breakfast Club", I read and suddenly had to grin. "This is one of my favorite movies. But even cooler is the soundtrack to it," I confided to him and put the DVD back.

"You really think so? Wait, I have something for you."

He went to another shelf and pulled out a CD, which he then put in his CD player and pressed 'start'.

When the Simple Minds song 'Don't You (Forget About Me)' through the speakers boomed, I couldn't hold myself back. I closed my eyes and let myself carry away by the music. I was a cheerleader. Dancing was my big passion. And there were just songs that made me forget everything around me. Even that I wasn't in my own room and was acting like a fool right now. I stopped abruptly, though the song was not quite finished, and opened my eyes. Julian stared at me with a look I didn't know how to interpret. I quickly went to my bag and took out my math stuff. "We should start now," I mumbled, avoiding his gaze.

"With what do you want to start?"

I was relieved that he hadn't resented my idiotic dance performance and opened my math book. "Maybe you can explain this to me?" I pointed to an equation in the book. No idea how we managed to stay focused for an hour afterwards. But somehow time flew by and when it knocked on the door outside and Julian's mother reminded us that the time was up, I was a bit disappointed. He shook my hand in front of the door and promised that he would call again to make a new appointment. As I slowly walked down the stairs, it occurred to me that it was the first time I had been in a boy's room and had not made out with him or even sex. A real premiere and a reason to repeat it soon. When I turned around and looked back to the house, I saw Julian standing in the doorway. I raised my hand and waved to him and was rewarded again with that smile that always made me nervous. Maybe we could do something else together, which had nothing to do with math, was my last thought, before I climbed on my bike and cycled home.


	3. Chapter 3

**Julian's POV**

I watched Brooke leaving the house as I suddenly noticed my mother behind me. Even before I turned to her, I knew she had been drinking again. I could smell it.

"What do you think, to bring... this... this slut to our house!"

I tried to stay calm because I knew there was no point arguing with her when she was drunk. "Brooke is not a slut," I said, turning away to leave.

"Julian Andrew Norris, you... you're not turning away from me... when I want to talk to you...!"

Her eyes were glazed, and she already had problems with the articulation. "Please Mom, let me go!" I had no desire to argue with her, and certainly not about Brooke.

"She is bad... bad, Julian! And I don't allow you to see her again!"

"I'm 18, Mom, and not a baby anymore!" I protested. "I know what I'm doing." I barely had finished the sentence when I realized that I just made a big mistake, because her already pale face grew even paler.

"What did she do to you?"

"What?" I thought I had misheard. What did she mean by that?

"I knew I should have forbidden her... to... to go alone to your room."

When I slowly realized what she meant, I could only stare at her in shock. She actually believed that Brooke and I had made out in my room instead of studying! "I've given her math coaching," I explained patiently, although I was seriously wondering why I was justifying myself to her. "No more and no less."

"I heard... music... from your room."

She had her arms on her hips and looked at me reproachfully. And I made the next big mistake when I remembered Brooke dancing around my room with her eyes closed; I smiled.

"That's it. You'll never see this... this girl... again!"

I woke up from my thoughts and shook my head slowly. "We go to the same school. That will be hard to avoid." When she suddenly turned away from me and walked towards the living room, I followed her slowly.

"I'm calling... calling your father. For a change, he... he should take care of you."

As she reached for the phone, I grabbed her wrist. "Don't do that, Mom! Should he find out that you have been drinking again?" To my biggest surprise she suddenly began to laugh hysterically.

"As if your... father would care... what I do. He's only interested in himself... himself and his... his bitches he shares... his bed with."

I closed my eyes in frustration and had to agree with her silently. My father, a famous movie producer, lived thousands of miles away from us in Los Angeles and came only home to fleeting visits. I was not naive. I knew from young age on that he wasn't faithful to my mother during his absence. And he made no secret of his affairs. I remembered the day I first found her drunk when I came home from school. I was just thirteen at the time and totally shocked because I had never seen her in such a state before. But it hadn't been a one-time slip, as I had realized soon afterwards, because she drank regularly from then on and occasionally took pills she supposedly needed for her nerves or for her insomnia. And I just felt helpless and totally overwhelmed because I had no idea how to help her. There was no one to whom I could have confided. So I kept it a secret and tried to cover up what happened almost daily in our house. My mom hadn't been very sociable before, but she hadn't left the house in five years. It was too embarrassing for her that someone could find out that she was drinking. My dad knew about her condition, but either he didn't care or he tried to block it out. In any case, he did nothing to help her. So only I remained. And suddenly I understood why my mom had been so hostile towards Brooke. She was afraid. Afraid to lose me to a girl. Because if she lost me, she would have nothing left in her life to live for. Gently, I took the receiver from her hand and put my arm around her. "Take a rest, Mom. You will feel better after that." When she nodded, I brought her to her room, helping her into bed. I already had the door handle in my hand when she called me back.

"Julian? Promise me... that you... that you won't see this... this girl again..."

I looked at her for a moment before I nodded hesitantly. "I promise," I said softly, knowing at that moment that I lied to my mom for the first time in my life.

 **Brooke's POV**

I was sitting on the bed in my room at home, holding my phone in my hand and trying to conjure it to ring. It was only a few hours ago that I said goodbye to Julian, but I couldn't wait to make the next appointment with him. It wasn't because I was so keen on math, but rather because of the fact that I really enjoyed Julian's presence. He was able to explain well and had a calmness and patience, that even I understood everything. With his help, I would certainly pass the next math test. I was firmly convinced of that. I had been staring at my phone all the time that I flinched as the tune to 'Don't You' sounded. I had changed my ringtone after I got home and put it on Julian's profile. "Hey!"

 _"Brooke?"_

"Um... yes?"

 _"About our next lesson... I thought we might meet tomorrow after school."_

"Okay, and where? At mine or at your place?"

 _"In the cafeteria."_

I nervously began to nibble on my lower lip. So my feeling didn't betray me. His mother didn't want me near her house again. "Okay," I said slowly, feverishly thinking what else to say so he wouldn't just end the conversation. "Thank you for tutoring me. You were a tremendous help." When he laughed, I felt a tingle in my stomach.

 _"Take care, Brooke. See you tomorrow."_

"Julian!"

 _"What?"_

I took a deep breath before telling him what had been in my mind all day. "What are you doing in your spare time?"

 _"What do you mean?"_

"Do you have any hobbies?"

 _"Define hobbies?"_

"What do you do when you come home from school, don't study or don't give any private lessons to various girls," I explained more precisely, waiting eagerly for his answer. For a moment there was only silence. But then I heard him clear his throat.

 _"Well, if I told you that you're the only and first girl I give private lessons to, would you believe me?"_

Why did my stupid heart start beating so fast all of a sudden? The question was completely harmless, and yet I felt this tingling sensation all over my body. I covered the speaker with my hand. "The only and first girl," I whispered audibly only for me. "Yes," I breathed into the speaker. "I would believe you."

 _"Okay, then... see you tomorrow, Brooke!"_

"Julian..." I started, but he had already hung up. I put my cell phone aside, dropped back and closed my eyes. And as I slowly drifted to sleep, the last thing I saw was his face before my mind's eye, dark brown eyes and a smile that could make you forget everything else around you.

 **Brooke's POV**

 **Tree Hill High School**

The next morning, while at school, I was completely lost in my thoughts, so that Haley, who was not only my friend but also my seat neighbor, had to bump me with her elbow so that I could follow our teacher's instructions. I was relieved when the school gong rang signaling that the lessons were over for today. I quickly stuffed my books into my school bag and was about to leave the classroom when Haley held me back.

"You'll tell me right away what's wrong with you, otherwise I won't let you go!"

It sounded almost like a threat, and I sank back onto my chair with a sigh. "Okay, I'll tell you, but promise me you're not going to make stupid comments."

She nodded and sat down next to me. "Tell me!"

"I'm meeting Julian," I confessed, and then saw how amusing she seemed to find it. "And no stupid grin," I added, as her smile widened.

"You have a crush on him."

It was not a question but a simple statement that made me feel compelled to correct it before she got it wrong. "I don't have a crush on him," I set it right, raising an eyebrow to emphasize my words. "I'm taking tutoring lessons from him."

"Oh, you meet him to study. Of course, that's something completely different."

Did I hear any hidden irony in her words? Her stupid grin proved clearly that she didn't believe me. "Haley, I only met him yesterday. Even I don't fall for a boy so quickly."

"You met him the day before yesterday, if I may correct you. And ever since you've been hanging around with him."

"To study, yes." I rolled my eyes annoyed. Sometimes Haley could be really stubborn. As she suddenly turned her head to the door and began to grin again, I followed her gaze.

"Speaking of the devil..."

"Julian!" His sight alone raised my heartbeat. I quickly jumped up and grabbed my things. But Haley was faster. She stood in front of him, smiled and held out her hand to him.

"Hi, I'm Haley, Brooke's best friend."

"Hi, Haley. I'm Julian."

"Yes, I know. I've heard a lot about you."

For this remark I would have liked to kick her in her butt. Couldn't it be more embarrassing! And Julian apparently felt uncomfortable about it too, because he looked abashed on the floor. "Can we go?" I don't know where I took the courage to grab Julian's arm and push him out of the classroom. I paid no attention to Haley. She would have to explain to me later what that remark had been. We reached the cafeteria when he suddenly stopped and looked at me.

"What did you tell the others about me?"

The question struck me as a surprise and at first I didn't know what to answer. "Nothing," I said after a while of silence. "I swear, I didn't say anything about you. Only that we study together."

He nodded and then sat down at one of the free tables and pulled out his schoolbooks. "Then let's start."

The atmosphere between us was strangely strained since the classroom incident, so after a short while I could barely concentrate on what he was explaining to me. It didn't make any sense that way. I jumped up from my chair, shoved my books quickly into my school bag and then took a deep breath. "You're afraid of people gossiping about you, what they might think when they see you with me," I said, noticing my voice quivering slightly.

"That's not true!"

"Yes it is. At least be honest with yourself," I hurled the worlds at him. "Do you think I didn't notice how your mother looked at me?" When he lowered his head, I knew I was right. "Thanks for your help," I said, trying not to show how hurt I was. "But we should just stop this here and now. I don't want to ruin your reputation." I turned away from him and suddenly noticed, to my own horror, tears in my eyes.

"Brooke, wait!"

As he grabbed my arm and slowly turned me to face him, I saw in his eyes the same disappointment that I felt right now.

"I don't care what my mother says. And I don't care what others say. What's important is what we both want."

I closed my eyes and noticed the tears running down my cheeks.

"What do you want, Brooke Davis?"

When he raised his hand and then gently stroked my cheek with his finger to wipe away the tears, tutoring was the last thing on my mind. But I was also aware that I couldn't tell him what I really wanted - to kiss him. So I just tried to think businesslike. "I want you to give me further tutoring," I said in a slightly trembling voice and immediately felt a swarm of butterflies flying through my stomach as he grinned at me satisfied. My God, what had I let myself getting into? Haley was right. I really had a 'crush' on Julian, or to put it better, I had fallen head over heels in love with him.

"Can we go on?"

His question freed me from my emotional chaos and I just nodded. But my joy that we had decided to work together shouldn't last long when Julian's cell phone began to ring. I watched him how he took the call and suddenly became nervous. He hurriedly stuffed his books in his school bag.

"I'm sorry, Brooke, but I have to leave now."

He just ditched me and ran out of the cafeteria. And I just stood there and didn't know how to interpret the situation. Did he use the call as an excuse to get away from me, or had it been his girlfriend who wanted to check on him if he was faithful to her? However, our 'date' had cut short and I packed my stuff and headed home.


	4. Chapter 4

**Julian's POV**

I can't remember ever having cycled home from school so fast. When I arrived at our house, I was completely out of breath. While I unlocked the door with trembling fingers and then took two steps at a time, sprinting upwards, I wondered what would await me this time. She had sounded really desperate and anxious on the phone. But my imagination was far from reality when I pushed open my mother's bedroom door and found her lifeless body on the floor. With one glance around, I noticed the half-empty bottles that lay next to her and the tube of pills that was also already half emptied. Pure fear let me hold my breath as I dropped to my knees beside her, groping for her pulse with trembling hands. "Mom! Mom, can you hear me?" I shook her slightly, making sure she was still alive. But she didn't respond to my words. Half blind, because tears were blurring my vision, I reached into my pocket and pulled out my phone. I called 9-1-1 and then everything happened quickly. Paramedics and a doctor stormed into our house, laid my mother on a stretcher, and carried her to the ambulance. I was allowed to ride in the back because there was no more space in the front. And as we drove with blue light and sirens to the hospital, I held her hand and prayed that she would survive. While my mother got medical treatment at the hospital, I had to wait outside in the waiting area and suddenly wished that Brooke was here. Although we hadn't known each other for a long time, I knew that I could trust her. But maybe it was just wishful thinking on my part, because I so yearned for someone with whom I could share my worries.

"Julian Norris?"

I looked up as the doctor approached me. "Yes?"

"Your mother is out of danger. We pumped her stomach out and gave her an infusion."

"How... how long will she have to stay in the hospital?" I asked, feeling my heart beat faster with relief.

"Only one day. She's even responsive and assured us that it was not her intention to kill herself, but that she simply underestimated the effect of alcohol together with sleeping pills."

He smiled, and all of a sudden I felt just ice-cold rage. It was so typical of her to downplay her addiction. She urgently needed help. Help that I couldn't give her. "She needs help," I mumbled, surprised that I had actually voiced the words loudly.

"You mean she drinks on occasion?"

I nodded silently because I didn't know what else to say. For years I had watched how she slowly destroyed herself. Here we were at a point where I couldn't and didn't want to bear it anymore.

"Well, in that case, your mother might want to think about therapy."

I rolled my eyes. You could rather teach a horse to fly, than to make my mother accept professional help. It was not like I didn't try. But as long as she didn't accept that she was ill, I couldn't help her.

"You live alone with your mother?"

I looked at the doctor thoughtfully for a moment before I nodded. 'Yes, all my life,' I silently added, though it wasn't quite true. But that's how it felt to me because my dad was married to his job and lived his life far away from ours.

"Your father is still alive?"

I nodded again, though it didn't really matter if he was alive or dead. It made almost no difference, because he was never there anyway and didn't care about us either.

"Then you should let your father know. Maybe he can convince your mother to take therapy."

"I hardly believe that, but... thanks." I got up. "Can I see her?"

The doctor nodded and then took me to the room where my mother was lying. As I pushed the door open and faced her, I felt a stab in my heart. She had been such a wonderful, lovable person before she had succumbed to alcohol. And now she was just a shadow of herself. She just didn't deserve this. With a few steps, I was at her bedside and took her in my arms. "I'm sorry, I wasn't there sooner," I said quietly, burying my face against her shoulder. She held me tight, and I let the tears flow that I had tried to suppress all the time.

 **Brooke's POV**

Three days had passed since I last heard from Julian. And gradually I was really worried. Not only hadn't he called me, he hadn't shown up at school either. Supposedly he was ill, as I learned from one of his classmates. And even if that was a plausible explanation for his absence, I didn't believe it. It was a strange coincidence that he had fallen ill just after our debate. I couldn't hide my distressed mood from Haley when I drove to her for homework the third day of Julian's absence.

"Your concentration is lacking. The sentence you just wrote is full of spelling and grammatical mistakes. What's wrong with you?"

I put my pen aside, sighed, and ran a hand through my hair. "It's about Julian," I said, glaring at Haley as she started to smile. "That's no reason to be happy. I'm really worried. He hasn't been to school for days."

"Did anything happen between the two of you?"

"No, not since our last conversation." I was lost in thought for a moment, but couldn't think of a reason why he should avoid me.

"Did you call him?"

I nodded. "At least a dozen times. He doesn't answer my calls. Or better, his mailbox is activated. He turned off his cellphone."

"If you can't reach him by phone, then go to his house."

Yes, that was exactly it! Why didn't I have the idea? I would just ride to his house and convince myself how he was doing. I jumped up from my chair and embraced my friend. "Thanks, Haley! You're the best!" I quickly packed my stuff and put my bag over my shoulder.

"Good luck!"

I heard her words as I was almost out the door. It was a long way from Haley's to Julian's house. And when I finally got there, I was completely out of breath. I parked my bike and walked slowly up the driveway until I came to the steps that led to the house. I hadn't quite reached the door when it was suddenly opened. In the doorway stood Julian's mother, and her look didn't bode well.

"You are not welcome here! I thought I made that clear the last time."

I flinched involuntarily. She had a kind of nature that made me deeply unsure and made me feel small and shabby. "I... I'm just here to find out how... Julian is," I stuttered.

"That's none of your business!"

"Please Mrs. Norris," I pleaded. "I just want to know how he's doing, because he hasn't been to school for so long."

"He's sick."

"Yes, I know." I shifted nervously from one foot to the other and would have liked to storm the house to convince myself of his health. But she stood before me like an avenging angel, ready to throw me into purgatory. "Can you at least tell me what's wrong with him?"

"He has a bronchitis."

I knew that I didn't get any further with this. This woman hated me. That was quite obvious. And she would rather chop off her hand than let me see her son. "Then... then tell him that he should get well soon," I mumbled, turning away to leave. But suddenly something occurred to me. "Please tell him to call me when he's feeling better." I finally turned away from her and noticed her piercing look, like a knife in my back, as I slowly walked down the driveway until I came to the place where my bike was chained up. I took one last look back to the house, got on my bike and drove home.

 ** **Julian's POV****

 **Tree Hill High**

It took me 10 days to overcome my bronchitis and to go back to school. And then I saw her. She stood in the middle of a group of teenagers and laughed at something that someone had just said. When I heard her laugh, my heart began to ache. How could I explain to her that I couldn't give her tutoring anymore? Or in other words, how could I explain to her that we wouldn't meet again at all? My mother had used the time I had spent in bed to make her own plans. She had contacted my father and told him that she intended to move back to LA. No one had even asked for my opinion. But it has always been like that. I was in the hierarchy of this family, if you could call us that, far below. My opinion didn't count. They just decided over my head. And I had complied because I didn't want to leave her alone. Even though she hoped that we would become a family again, I knew that changing the location wouldn't change our situation. My dad would continue to work and take care of his own life, and we would have to see how we could manage our own. For me, it meant a change of school, which in itself wasn't bad, because I was quite flexible and had no friends here anyway that I would miss. With one exception: Brooke. As if she had guessed my thoughts, she suddenly raised her head and looked in my direction. I tried to smile, but I failed miserably.

"Julian!"

As she ran towards me, I thought for a moment she would fling her arms around my neck, but just before she had reached me, she suddenly stopped.

"Are you okay?"

I nodded because my throat was suddenly tight. Her eyes lit up, and I could see how happy she was to see me again. "Can we talk privately?" I said quietly that no one would hear. She nodded and then smiled at me.

"In the cafeteria?"

I nodded and then went ahead. Arriving in the cafeteria, I sat down at the table where we had last studied together. She was nervous. I could clearly see that because she was constantly running her fingers through her long hair and chewing on her lower lip. It was time to tell her the truth. "Brooke, I... I have something to tell you," I began, meeting her curious gaze. She had sat down opposite me with her elbows propped up on the table.

"What do you want to tell me?"

She looked expectantly at me with her fawn-colored eyes, and I knew that I would extinguish that shine in her eyes. "I can't give you tutoring lessons anymore," I said hastily, because I wanted to get it over with quickly. And I was right. She looked at me with wide eyes and I could see shock and confusion in them.

"Why, what have I done?" she asked alarmed.

Why did she think she had done something? "Nothing," I hurried to say quickly. "You didn't do anything. It's not you. I would love to continue tutoring you, but I... " I stopped because my throat was suddenly constricted. It had been so easy when I had practiced it in front of the bathroom mirror. But to see her now face to face was something completely different. "Brooke, I'm going to leave Tree Hill," I confessed to her softly. "I'm going back to Los Angeles with my mom."

When her eyes filled with tears, I wanted to take my words back. But I also knew that I couldn't. It was like a patch. You had to tear it down quickly so it wouldn't hurt so much.

"When?"

"In two weeks. We still have some things to do before we can move to L.A."

"In two weeks..."

I nodded, and then I remembered. "Your big math test is in two weeks," I said, looking at her sympathetically. "I'm sorry, Brooke. I would have liked to help you. But maybe you can find someone else who can give you private lessons." It was not what she had expected, because suddenly she jumped up from her chair without a warning and ran away. Confused, I followed her with my eyes. What had I said that she just ran away? And while I mulled it over, the gong sounded, signaling that the next lesson had started.

 ** **Brooke's POV****

I heard the gong, but I didn't care. I couldn't go to class now. As the other students scrambled into the classes, I made my way through them and ran to the girls' restroom. Luckily, no one else was there except me. I entered one of the cabins, locked up behind me and slowly slipped to the floor, tears streaming down my cheeks. I had waited so long for the moment to see Julian again. I had wanted to tell him that I felt more for him than just friendship. I had wanted to ask him if we could meet for a real date. My diary was full of entries about Julian and what I hoped for us in the future. I had written his name with hearts around it. And now I was sitting here on the cold, dirty floor in the girls' restroom, crying my heart out. There would be no future for us because he would go to L.A, a city thousands of miles away from me. He would meet another girl there, fall in love, get married, have children with her... Suddenly the door opened and someone came in.

"Brooke? Are you there?"

I scrambled to my feet, put the latch back and flung my arms around her neck. "Haley," I sobbed on her shoulder and closed my eyes as she stroked my hair. "He's leaving Tree Hill. He's going to Los Angeles." I didn't need to say much, because I knew Haley understood. It took a while for her to let go of me when she noticed that my sobs were getting fewer.

"When you didn't turn up to class, I asked if I could look for you. I knew where you were right away. You always go there when you feel miserable."

I nodded and gratefully accepted the handkerchief that Haley handed me. "That's true," I admitted. "But this time it's worse." When she chuckled, I frowned. "What's so amusing about it?"

"Nothing, only that I knew it all the time. You really fell in love with him, right?"

I nodded and felt tears in my eyes again. "But that doesn't matter now because he's leaving Tree Hill in two weeks."

"You should tell him anyway."

"That I have feelings for him?" I shook my head. "I'd only make a fool of myself. He believes that I'm only interested in tutoring."

"You just want to let him go like that?"

"What else am I supposed to do?" I exclaimed desperately. "He's going to L.A. in two weeks and maybe I'll never see him again."

"At least you have two weeks left. You should use that. Why don't you ask him for a date?"

Yes, why not? Haley was right. Either I gave up on Julian right away, or I tried to make the best of the situation in the remaining two weeks. "Okay," I agreed. "I'll call him and ask him for a date."

"Great. Then that's settled and we can finally go back to class."

I smiled involuntarily when I saw Haley rolling her eyes. Yes, sometimes she didn't have an easy time with me. I had to admit that. But what are friends for?

"Clean up your face. No need that the others see you were crying."

I went to the sink, put my hand under the soap dispenser and pressed the button. My eyes started to burn as I rubbed my face with soap, but at least I was freed from tears and make-up afterwards. "Am I presentable enough?" I asked Haley after washing my face with clear water and then drying it off.

"Perfect. Now let's go."

I took one last look in the mirror and then left with Haley to attend the rest of the lesson.


	5. Chapter 5

**Julian's POV**

I didn't know why I had agreed to Brooke's suggestion to do something else together that would have nothing to do with tutoring. But I finally gave in to her request, though I knew it was wrong. After this last date our ways would part. Just the mere thought made my heart ache. My mother had prepared everything for our move, and early in the morning we'd be on a plane to L.A. where a new life would begin for us, far away from Tree Hill, its people, shops, Brooke...

"Julian? Are you dreaming?"

My thoughts were suddenly interrupted. "What did you say?"

"I asked if you've ever been to the beach before?"

I shook my head. If I told her that I hadn't had the time because I had been busy with my homework and various intensification courses, she would probably just laugh at me.

"Then this is really the 'first time' for you?"

Her eyes gleamed mischievously, and I suddenly felt heat everywhere. "Yes, the first time," I muttered, following her slowly behind. The view was just breathtaking. The beach stretched before me in endlessness. Dozens of beach houses were along the seashore, and the blue, clear water and foaming waves invited to go for a swim. I turned to Brooke and my breath caught as I watched her slip off her shirt over her head to reveal a tiny bikini that accentuated her slim form in just the right places. It was the first time I saw Brooke in a bikini. Actually, it was the first time ever I saw a girl almost undressed. Because unlike her, I had never had a girlfriend or any sexual experiences. I quickly turned away from her. What did I just think? This was just a harmless meeting among friends, nothing more, nothing less. Brooke was my student. And we would leave it at that. Everything else would only lead to complications. As I suddenly felt hands on my shoulder, I flinched involuntarily.

"Take off your shirt, Julian. Or do you want to go into the water with it?"

She smiled and I felt heat rising inside me. As I slowly pulled my shirt over my head, I wondered how she would evaluate what she was about to see. I knew that unlike the other guys who Brooke knew, who were athletic and muscular, I was slender-chested and not very attractive. When she stood in front of me, staring up at me with her head back, I realized how big the difference in size really was between us. She would have to stand on tiptoes if she wanted to kiss me. And the way she was looking at me, it seemed she thought the same. I quickly turned away from her and ran towards the sea. "Okay, who's in the water first?" I shouted, running until the waves crashed over me. The water was cool and refreshed my heated skin. However, it didn't cool the internal heat I felt when Brooke suddenly appeared next to me. Her long hair was wet and her bikini stuck to her body like a second skin. Her nipples pressed through the thin fabric of her top, and for a moment I wondered what it would feel like to take those small, solid breasts in my hands. Terrified by my own thoughts, I ran out of the water and fell panting into the soft sand. My pulse was still at 180 when she finally showed up and dropped down next to me.

"What's wrong?"

I didn't answer her right away, but watched her for a while drawing letters in the sand, that the waves washed away almost immediately. "I can't do this," I said softly, avoiding her gaze.

"What do you mean?"

God, how naive she was! Did she really not know what feelings and thoughts she had just induced? Feelings that I was not allowed to have. I spread my arms. "This... the beach... the sea... us..." I broke off in mid-sentence and shook my head. "I'll leave Tree Hill tomorrow, Brooke," I said, glancing at her. "It would be wrong if we started something now, which we can't continue with."

"I don't want you to leave!"

I closed my eyes and struggled with my self-control. "Do you think I want this?!" I shouted desperately. "Do you think I want to leave Tree Hill?" I shook my head. "I want nothing more than to stay here. But I can't, Brooke. I have no choice. I can't leave my mother alone. She needs me." I hoped she would understand. But she just looked at me with sad eyes.

"I... I need you too."

I had no time to respond to her confession when she suddenly wrapped her arms around my neck and pressed her lips to my mouth. For a moment I was too shocked by her ambush that I didn't know how to react. But as she slid her hands over my body and deepened the kiss, I gave up all resistance and succumbed to my feelings.

Hours later, when I was alone in my bed, still completely shaken by the events on the beach, I wondered why I had to fall in love just now. In 24 hours my new life in L.A. would begin. There was no future for Brooke and me. And it was no consolation that I knew that time would eventually heal the wounds. Didn't they say that you would never forget the person with whom you had sex with for the first time? I still couldn't believe that we had made love, on the beach, in broad daylight, while the waves had crashed over us. I would never have thought that I would have my 'first time' on the beach. And probably it hadn't been a satisfying experience for Brooke because I didn't really know what I was doing. But it had just felt right at that moment. As if fate had guided us. And just as we had come together the first time, we had separated the same way. I knew it was impossible for her to say goodbye to me at the airport. My mother would have had a heart attack. So we had kissed for the last time, before I got on my bike and rode home. I had promised her that I would get in touch with her as soon as I arrived in L.A.. We wanted to stay in touch, send text messages, call each other. But it was clear to both of us that it could never replace direct contact. Brooke's life went on in Tree Hill, mine in Los Angeles. And at some point the contact would break off. I closed my eyes and noticed a tear slowly running down my cheek and then falling onto the pillow where it seeped away. "I love you, Brooke Davis," I said softly, before turning to one side and finally giving up the struggle against tiredness.


	6. Chapter 6

**Brooke's POV**

 **Haley's house**

 **Three weeks later**

I felt stupid, as I stood with smeared mascara from hours of crying my heart out in front of Haley's door, desperately pressing the bell. It was Lydia, Haley's mother, who opened the door. I really had to look terrible, because the dismay about my look was clearly visible on her face.

"Brooke, Sweetheart, what happened?" She asked concerned.

"Is... is Haley here?" I sniffled and wiped my nose. I couldn't and didn't want to talk with Haley's mother about my problem.

"She's in her room. Just go to her."

Gratefully, I looked at her and then hurried up to Haley's room. I knocked briefly and then opened the door before she could say 'come in'. She seemed as shocked by my appearance as her mother had been, because she jumped up from her homework and pulled me into her arms.

"What happened, Brooke? You look awful!"

I carefully freed myself from her arms and dropped the backpack I was carrying on the floor. "Can I use your bathroom?" I asked, starting to rummage in my backpack.

"Of course. You don't have to ask. You can just..."

I looked up as she stopped in mid-sentence and looked at me in horror. And then I glanced at the object in my hand that I had just pulled out.

"A pregnancy test?!" Haley gasped horrified. "Haven't you used contraceptive?"

I closed my eyes and shook my head. "We... we were in the water, Hales," I stuttered. "I didn't know that you could get pregnant there at all."

"I can understand why you might not have a condom with you, but I thought you were taking the pill?"

I sighed and ran a hand through my long hair. "I have... actually. But at that time I was taking a pill break because I didn't have a boyfriend and found it unnecessary to prevent," I tried to justify my carelessness.

"Oh, Brooke!"

She didn't have to look at me so reproachfully. I knew very well that I screwed up. As beautiful as the moment had been with Julian, I didn't need any memory of it; in the form of a living, screaming bundle!

"Did he contact you?"

"Who?" I asked unnecessarily, because my thoughts were just somewhere else.

"Julian. Who else could I mean?"

I shook my head. That was the worst part. We had seen each other for the last time three weeks ago and since then silence has prevailed. I had tried to call him, but the message had gone straight to the mailbox. It seemed as if he had left everything behind with his move to LA. And not only that. He apparently had forgotten everything; Me, us, our shared moment of intimacy and closeness. I took the pregnancy test and tore open the packaging. "Okay, let's get it over and done with," I said firmly, picking up the test stick and disappearing into the bathroom.

"Brooke? Is everything alright? You've been in there for almost 20 minutes now. Does it take so long to get a test result?"

I sat on the floor next to the bathtub and held the test in my hands that had told me the result 10 minutes earlier. But I wasn't ready to share this news with Haley yet.

"Brooke! I'll kick the door in if you don't come out right now!"

I looked at the bathroom clock and couldn't believe that 15 minutes had passed. And if I would sit here for three hours, the result would be the same. I wiped the tears from my face, scrambled up, and pushed the latch back. "Here." I handed the test stick to Haley and then went to her bed and sat down on it.

"Oh no... Brooke..."

She put the test aside and then went to hug me.

"We can do this together," she promised. "You don't have to go through this alone."

"I'm 17, Hales. What am I supposed to do with a baby?" I cried in despair.

"There are many teen mothers who have done that before you. They raised their babies without a father. You can do what they can."

I was not as optimistic as Haley, but right now it was good to know that I wasn't all alone. I tentatively placed a hand on my belly and closed my eyes. It seemed unreal to me that something was growing inside of me. A living human being, a part of me and Julian.

"You have to tell him."

I looked up. "He hasn't reported for three weeks. Do you think he's even interested in what I'm doing?"

"He's the father, Brooke. You can't keep that for yourself. He has rights as much as you have."

I rolled my eyes. Why did Haley always have to be so correct in everything? Of course, I knew that as a father he also had rights. Unless, I wouldn't even have this baby. And that's what I said then and received a horrified look from Haley.

"You want to have an abortion?" She gasped in shock. "Brooke, do you even know what you're talking about?"

I jumped up. "I don't know yet what I'm going to do," I confessed. "All I know is that I don't want to have a baby right now." I was somehow relieved that she didn't stop me when I grabbed the pregnancy test, stuffed it in my backpack, and then left her room and ran down to the front door.

 **Julian's POV**

 **Norris' Mansion, Los Angeles**

"You must forget her, Julian."

I slowly turned to my mother and stared at her blankly. "I can't," I said in a low voice.

"I'm sure she has already forgotten you. A girl like her is not alone for long."

My hands involuntarily clenched into fists as I glared at her. "You don't even know Brooke and you're judging her!" I shouted. "You rejected her from the beginning. And just because you thought she was not 'worthy' enough for me." I emphasized my words by rolling my eyes. "If you hadn't forced me to go to L.A. with you, Brooke and I might have had a chance."

"You deserve someone better."

I closed my eyes and forced myself to stay calm. Since we lived here, she believed she had everything under control again. But she was wrong for thinking she could continue manipulating me as she had done before. "I love her, Mom," I said quietly. "I know, you can't understand that, but there was something special between Brooke and me."

"Yes, sex."

I sighed in frustration. "I already regret that I ever told you."

"I'm not blaming you, Julian."

When she put her hand gently on my arm, I knew that she thought I was just a victim. But she was wrong.

"She seduced you, in a most shameful way, even though she knew you were still... innocent."

"Do you think it's something to be proud of when you haven't had sex at the age of 18?" I asked her, shaking my head in disbelief. "Definitely not. And I wasn't that 'innocent' either," I added. "Imagine, I wanted it just like Brooke did. She didn't have to 'force' me, if you think so."

"Let's not talk about it anymore."

As she turned away, I knew the conversation was over for her. But I didn't give up so easily. "Why, Mom? Because it makes you uncomfortable that your son has a sex life, which you only know from some cheesy romance novels!" The slap she gave me afterwards was justified, as I had to admit to myself. But the way she looked at me it seemed it hurt her a lot more than me. Everything was said between us. I turned around and just left. Even as I heard her call my name in a whiny voice, I went on. I ran out of the house and left everything behind. But I didn't get far when my cell phone rang. It was my mother, again. Annoyed, I pressed the 'hang up' button. She should just leave me alone! It wasn't far from our home to the beach, and I took off my pants, shirt and shoes and plunged into the water, clothed only in underpants. I don't know how long I swam, but when I came back and checked my phone, I had 20 missed calls. All from my mother. _Apparently she's really sorry for slapping me in the face,_ I thought as I pressed the button to listen to my mailbox.

 _"I just wanted to tell you that I'm sorry that I seem to have failed as a mother. I've always wanted the best for you, Julian. You have to believe me. But don't worry. From now on, you're responsible for your own life alone because I won't be there to tell you what to do. And in spite of everything you have said to me, I will always love you, my son."_

It clicked and the message was finished. I stood there, stunned, staring at my cell phone and suddenly noticed the cold sweat breaking out, even though the hot August sun was burning down on me. I quickly changed my clothes and ran. On the way home I prayed that it wasn't too late. It was not the first time she had threatened to kill herself. But this time, I knew, she would do it. It was only a few weeks ago that she had been taken to the hospital for mixing pills and alcohol. I opened the door, ran up the stairs, looked first in the bedroom, then instinctively turned towards the bathroom. And then I found her there. She lay lifeless in the bathtub, still fully clothed, while blood trickled away from two deep cuts on her wrists, slowly turning the water red. I acted more instinctively than consciously, when I lifted her out of the tub, laid her down on the bath mat and then reached for my cell phone and called the ambulance. Like a Deja Vu, I went through everything again that I had experienced only a few weeks ago in our house in Tree Hill. Only with the difference I was convinced that she was dead this time.

"Please, step aside and let us do our work!"

I was rudely pushed aside and then, as if in a trance, watched as two doctors tried to resuscitate my mother.

"Vital functions are back again. Now let's take care of the cuts."

I closed my eyes in relief. She was alive! But this time it was pretty close. Even as a layman I knew that.

"Do you want to ride in the ambulance?"

I looked up when I was approached and nodded. "She's my mother," I said quietly and completely out of context.

"Then you should come with us."

Just like last time, they put my mother on a stretcher and carried her to the ambulance. I took one last look back to the bloodied bathtub before following the paramedics outside.

 ** **Brooke's POV****

 **Gynecological practice**

With a nervous beating heart, I lay on the gynecological chair, anxiously waiting to hear my baby's heartbeat for the first time. Two weeks had passed since I had made the pregnancy test, and in the meantime I had plenty of time to think. The decision hadn't been easy, but in the end I decided to keep the baby. Haley had promised me that she would support me. But not everyone knew about the pregnancy yet. So far, I hadn't told my parents. I wanted to wait until the end, until I couldn't hide it anymore. However, I didn't have much time left.

"Are you ready?"

I was interrupted in my musings when the doctor approached me. I nodded and reflexively held my breath as she put cold ultrasound gel on my stomach and then gently traced the contours of my belly with the ultrasound probe.

"Can you see it?"

Haley, who had accompanied me to the appointment and was now as excited as me, let out a yell.

"Oh my God! Brooke! Do you see it? There's your baby!"

I turned my head so I could have a better view and then had trouble holding back my tears. You couldn't see much, but there was clearly a small dot visible in the uterus.

"Let's see if we can hear the heartbeat," said the doctor.

Excited, I waited and watched her as she activated something on the device, and then a loud and steady thumping could be heard.

"Can you see what it's going to be?" Haley asked excitedly.

All I could do was stare at the monitor and listen to the heartbeat. Everything felt surreal. I looked up when the doctor laughed.

"No, unfortunately it's too early for that. But maybe at the next appointment in four weeks. Probably even later."

"That's a pity."

I had to smile involuntarily at Haley's response. She was almost more excited than me about the news that a baby was growing inside my belly.

"Everything looks fine," said the doctor. "I'll make a quick print out from the ultrasound image and then we're done."

Twenty minutes later, Haley and I stood in front of the counter to make the next appointment in four weeks.

"Look, Brooke! There are so many flyers on the wall at the back."

I turned around and then frowned as she took flyer after flyer out of the holders and then put them in front of me.

"It's important that you know everything before the baby comes."

I looked at them and suddenly felt sick. The picture on one of them showed a woman with a heavily rounded baby belly and made me realize that I would be in the same situation very soon.

"Brooke, are you okay?"

Haley looked anxiously at me and I took a deep breath to banish the nausea. "I just realized I'm becoming a mother soon," I said quietly, taking the flyers and stuffing them in my purse.

"Yes, isn't that wonderful?"

I forced a smile. It was nice that at least one of us was so euphoric about this pregnancy. I looked up when the receptionist handed me a little note with the next appointment. "I have to stop with cheerleader training," I told Haley when we were back on the street.

"First of all, you should tell your parents," she suggested.

I sighed inwardly. Yes, it was about time. And there was something else that I needed to do, something even more unpleasant, than to tell my parents; I had to tell Julian. Now that I had decided to keep the baby, he needed to learn that he would become a father.

"Do you want to go to the ice cream parlor?"

"If you pay," I replied with a smile. I was so happy that Haley was at my side. She had the ability to always make the best of a situation, no matter how hopeless it was. I clasped her arm, and together we made our way to the ice cream parlor.


	7. Chapter 7

**Julian's POV**

 **Psychiatric Clinic, Los Angeles**

It wasn't easy for me to go to the clinic because I didn't know what to expect there this time. But I bravely went this way every day, and have been doing so for almost two weeks now. After my mother's suicide attempt, my father immediately had ordered to commit her to a psychiatric clinic. He had believed that he had done his duty with his doing. And he hadn't even visited her since that day. Even worse, my father intended to finally file for divorce. Never, I swore, would I abandon someone who was close to me and in trouble. I took another deep breath before entering my mother's room. She looked at me, with that helpless and desperate look I found hard to bear.

"Julian! Help me! They want to hold me here for good!"

I walked up to her and hugged her. "No, Mom," I said softly. "They just want you to get well again."

"But I'm not sick. They think that, but I'm not."

I closed my eyes. Each time we argued about the same topic, and every time I said the same thing like a broken record. "You're an alcoholic, Mom. And you suffer from depression. You tried to kill yourself. That's not normal behavior."

"But I'm not crazy, right?"

She looked at me pleadingly, and I gently stroked her hair. "No, Mom, you are not crazy. It will only take a while for you to recover completely and leave the clinic."

"I want to come with you now. Please, Julian, take me with you! We forget everything that happened and start from scratch. Just the two of us. As it has always been and always will be."

I looked at her in disbelief. How could she even assume for a second that I would ever forget the view of her lifeless, bleeding body in the tub? This would remain etched into my memory forever, reminding me of my duty never to leave her.

"Did you contact her again?"

I frowned quizzically because I had no idea who she meant.

"That girl from Tree Hill... Brooke Davis?"

Brooke! My heart skipped a beat. For weeks I hadn't thought of her because I had just been too busy with schooling and the task of looking after my mom. How many weeks have it been since we last saw each other? Three weeks, five weeks, two months? I had completely lost track of time, because every day was somehow the same. I remembered her question and shook my head mechanically.

"That's good. You should focus on your education now. One day comes the day when you will find the right woman you may want to marry, with whom you'd like to have children. You're still so young, Julian. Just take your time."

 _I already found her_ , I thought silently. The woman with whom I could have imagined all this. And I lost her again. But I couldn't say that to my mother. She wouldn't understand or try to talk me out of it. All the weeks before I hadn't thought about Brooke, and the realization that I still loved her, hit me hard now. "I have to go," I said to my mother and headed for the door.

"But you just came," she said, puzzled.

"I'll be back tomorrow," I promised. "And then I'll stay a little longer." I wanted to be alone now with my heartache, my loss and the memories. When I left the clinic a short time later and went to my car, I remembered the promise that I had given to my mother shortly after she woke up in the clinic, 'Please Julian, don't leave me! You're the only one I have.' And I gave her my promise never to leave her. How high the price was, I realized only now. I reached my car, got in and drove away. I hadn't gotten far when my cell phone rang. Was it telepathy, or why did I see Brooke's picture on the display? I had simply deleted her last calls that my mailbox had recorded without listening to them, because I didn't know what to say to her. But now I was just a blink of an eye away from talking to her in person. And my heart began to beat faster with excitement as I reached for my phone and forgot for a moment that I was in the midst of heavy traffic. As the driver in front suddenly slowed down, I had no chance to stop. I heard the sound of cracking, bending metal and saw a huge cloud of fire and smoke before everything around me went black.


	8. Chapter 8

****Brooke's POV****

 **Tree Hill High, gym**

 **Four weeks later**

I hadn't felt well all morning, when I dragged myself to the gym in the last lesson and suddenly noticed a dull pain in my stomach. A feeling as if you were about to get your period. Since I had an appointment with my gynecologist three days ago and everything had been okay, I paid no attention to it and lined up in a row like the other students.

"Go, girls, get the trampoline out. Today we want to see how good your balance is."

I groaned inwardly. Trampolining was the last thing I wanted to do now, especially since I was sure that it wasn't good for a pregnant woman to be exposed to such vibrations. But when it was my turn, I bravely walked onto the trampoline and began to jump into the canvas carefully. I suddenly heard a horrified gasp and noticed that all eyes were on me. I followed their gaze, stared down at me, and saw in my white leggings a red blood spot spreading out rapidly.

"Brooke's got her period," someone shouted.

"Let me through!"

I realized like in trance how Haley jumped on the trampoline and then pulled me down until I had solid ground under my feet again.

"Here!"

Someone held out a tampon, which I gripped mechanically.

"She's not getting her period, Peyton, she's losing her baby!" Haley hissed to her.

I raised my head and saw Peyton's eyes wide with shock. And suddenly I realized what was happening here. Haley was right. I was losing my baby!

"Are you there by car?" Haley asked Peyton.

"Yes, why?"

"We have to take her to the hospital."

I felt like a viewer in a theater play, where you could see and hear the actors but couldn't intervene in the story. Experiencing it as an outside observer was also easier for me at the moment than accepting the fact that I was losing my baby, the last link between Julian and me. I let myself be led outside and climbed into Peyton's car without resistance.

"Brooke, can you hear me?"

"She's in shock, Haley. Why didn't you tell me she was pregnant?"

"Not now, Peyton. Focus on driving. Maybe it's not too late yet."

"Oh, God, so much blood...!"

"Shut up and drive, I said!"

"I'm already driving as fast as I can. Who is the father? "

"You don't know him, and it doesn't matter anyway."

"That's not fair, Haley. I'm almost your accomplice now. Who knows about it?"

I felt myself getting more and more tired and closed my eyes.

"Brooke? Oh God, Peyton. I think she passed out."

"Brooke!"

I felt hands tugging at me, but I was too tired to even open my eyes. The next time I opened them, I lay in a bed and a face unknown to me bent over me.

"Hello Brooke, I'm Dr. Parker, your doctor. Do you know what happened to you? "

I moistened my dry lips and then nodded. "I... I lost my baby," I whispered faintly.

The doctor nodded and gave me a compassionate look. "I'm so sorry. We couldn't save the baby. The bleeding was too severe."

I closed my eyes and felt tears seeping through the lashes. So it was true. I finally lost everything that was important to me; Julian, our baby...

"We had to make a curettage to stop the bleeding completely and to remove the remains of the fetus. And we noticed during surgery that you have an anomaly of the uterus. I'm sorry, but you'll never be able to deliver a baby the normal way."

I looked at the doctor with a stunned expression. Not only did he just tell me that I had lost my baby, he also told me that I would never have children of my own. "I... can't get pregnant?" I asked in a choked voice.

"You can get pregnant. The problem is that you can't keep it in your uterus. So if you get pregnant again, this pregnancy will end in a miscarriage as well. I'm really sorry that I can't give you better news. But you should rest now and not think so much."

He squeezed my hand and then left the hospital room. I lay there numb, unable to really grasp what just had happened to me. When the door opened and Haley and Peyton came in, I broke down emotionally. I was glad they were both with me. Because without them I hadn't known how to endure this. Haley hugged me and gently stroked my head.

"You're not alone, Brooke. We will be there for you, no matter what. Us three belong together. And that won't change in the future!"

* * *

 **5 years later**

 **Brooke's POV**

Slowly, I opened the drawer, took out the ultrasound image and placed it next to the burning candle. I knew it was wrong and I tortured myself anew every year when I lit a candle to commemorate the death of my baby. But this candle was not just for my baby. It also stood for everything else that I had lost 5 years ago: Julian, my heart and my trust that happiness would come to those who deserved it. If I looked up my journal from that time and read about what the 17-year-old Brooke had dreamt of, then there was almost nothing left of it today. I had made a bucket list back then, with all things I wanted to do before I turned 30. At the top of the list had been 'having a baby', and although I had come to terms with never becoming a mother, the memory of the miscarriage still hurt. I was so engrossed in my own thoughts that I flinched when there was a knock at the door. "Just a moment!" I quickly blew out the candle, put the ultrasound image back in the drawer and headed for the door.

"Hi, Brooke! I just have some free time and wanted to ask if you would like us to do something together?" Haley greeted.

"I don't know. I'm really not in the mood to go out today," I replied, shrugging regretfully.

"Come on, pull yourself together. Jamie is with a friend and I have time all afternoon. We could also go to my house. I baked a cake, and..."

I interrupted her speech by raising my hand. "Stop it, Haley. I know why you're doing this. But it's okay, you know?" She looked at the candle, from which still light fumes rose up.

"Don't lie to me, Brooke. I know it's not okay."

When she hugged me, my facade collapsed. "It should be by now," I sobbed on her shoulder. "It's been 5 years."

"Since I have Jamie, I know how strong a mother's attachment to her child is," she said calmly. "You don't have to apologize for mourning your baby."

"It wasn't even a real baby," I blurted, freeing myself from her arm. "It wasn't even born."

"You have seen it, heard his heartbeat and even felt it. It was real, Brooke and not a fix idea. You have the right to grieve. And don't think otherwise."

"When Jamie recently celebrated his birthday and I saw the other kids at his party, I realized that my child could have been there as well," I confessed quietly. "My son or daughter with Julian's eyes and his smile and my nose and his curls." I saw her rolling her eyes. "What?"

"You could have forgotten about Julian in the meantime. I mean, the guy hasn't reported to you for 5 years. One should assume that you're already over him."

"I am," I said stubbornly. "I don't even think about him anymore. Just once a year."

She went to the table and took my journal in her hand and opened a random page.

"Just tell me, how often have you actually written 'Brooke loves Julian'? These are several pages. And then those cheesy little hearts everywhere!"

"Give it to me!" I tore my diary out of her hand and put it back on the table. "I was 17 at the time and totally in love," I tried to justify myself. "You just write stuff like that at that age."

"And why is it on your table now?"

"I just had a weak moment." I shrugged helplessly and then sighed. "I don't know, Hales. I haven't thought about Julian for a year, and then I had that weird dream last night…" I stopped when she took my hand and pulled me over to the sofa.

"Okay, tell me everything!"

"There's not much to tell. He was just back, here in Tree Hill. We went to the beach together, and then he kissed me."

"Wow, I would like to have that dream, too."

"You want to kiss Julian?" I asked in disbelief.

"No, I thought of Nathan, but keep talking. I want to know everything."

I had to smile when I saw her cheeks glowing with excitement. "That's it. We only kissed each other, and then he just disappeared again."

"Just like that? Didn't he say anything else?" Haley asked, frowning.

"It was a dream, Hales, not reality," I brought her down to earth. "Julian is probably happily married now and has kids."

"And that wouldn't bother you?"

I looked at her irritated. "Why should that bother me? Our ways parted a long time ago."

"And you're still sitting here, crying your heart out for the loss of your baby."

"You said earlier that it's perfectly normal to mourn," I said indignantly.

She nodded slowly. "That's true. But the main reason why you can't let go is that you still love him."

"That's bullshit!" I jumped up from the sofa and crossed my arms in front of my chest. "I never should have told you about the dream."

"I'm glad you did." She grinned. "And I'm really happy about that."

I grabbed my jacket and purse and walked to the door. "Didn't you say you baked a cake?"

"Do you want to change the subject?"

"No, I'm just hungry."

"All right, let's go to my house now."

I put my arm around her shoulder and together we left the house.

 ** **Julian's POV****

 **Julian's office, Los Angeles**

Sullenly, I threw the book on the pile of 'already read books' and then dropped my head on the tabletop. Again, I had found nothing in it that could have inspired me to make a movie from it. It had been going on like that for months, and I was starting to worry. Anyone who said that, as a filmmaker in L.A., you could find substance for good film footage on every corner, had simply lied. There were just too many people who thought they could write and then published the biggest crap. And there were enough film producers in L.A. who still tried to make the most of the stuff. But I was definitely no one who wanted to resign myself to stuff like that. I didn't want to make any movie, I wanted to do 'the' movie. And I had found a great role model in John Hughes. 'The Breakfast Club', 'Ferris Bueller's Day Off' and 'Miracle on 34th street' were just a few of the films he had produced and directed. I also wanted to do a movie that would be remembered for decades. And I was ready to wait. I raised my head as my father came in. It was unlike him to simply burst in my office without asking, so there had to be a good reason for that. When he slammed a book on my desk with a grinning face, I frowned questioningly.

"I heard you were looking for good material for a film?"

I nodded hesitantly and glanced at the book title. "An Unkindness of Ravens," I read aloud and looked at him questioningly. "What's this?"

"Your new movie that you're going to produce."

I read the title again and then stopped when I came to the author's name. "Lucas Scott." For a moment I wondered why the name seemed so familiar to me, and then I remembered. He had been Brooke's boyfriend, maybe he still was or even more. My stomach contracted painfully, and I took a deep breath.

"I thought the name was familiar to you. He lives at the place in North Carolina, where you and your mother lived for a while."

I looked up at my dad. "Tree Hill," I said in a low voice.

"Yeah, right, Tree Hill. I think the book could be interesting for you. You probably even know one of the people in the book."

My heart skipped a beat. Brooke! I hadn't thought about her for years. Was it really 5 years since we last met? Why had we never tried to get in touch again? I wondered and then suddenly remembered. It was the time I had been injured by a car accident, had been in the rehab for months, had spent most of my time in a wheelchair and had to learn to walk again. And when I had recovered, I'd gone to Tree Hill to find out from Brooke's friend Peyton that she had been together with Lucas Scott. The Lucas Scott, whose book I was holding in my hands now.

"Julian?"

As if awakening from a dream, I looked at my father. "Did you read it?" I asked quietly.

He nodded. "What do you think why I suggest to make a movie from it? The book is awesome. The best thing I have read in years. And I would like to produce it with you, if you don't mind."

"Maybe I should read it first to give myself an opinion."

"Of course, read it first. But you will see that I haven't exaggerated. It's the stuff you make movies from." He grinned. "The audience will be excited. They will root for the protagonist and devour every scene."

"What's the book about?" I asked, looking at the back.

"It's autobiographical. It's about Lucas Scott's life in high school, his dreams and hopes, and of course his relationships."

I looked up from the book. "Is there a Brooke mentioned in there?" I asked, waiting tensely for the answer.

"You mean Brooke Davis? Yes, she even has a leading role. She is Lucas'..."

"All right, fine." I jumped up quickly. "Leave it here. I'll read it and then call you, okay?"

He nodded. "Everything all right, Julian?"

As he looked at me, I knew he could see how upset I was inside. All I had to do was read this book and find out everything about Brooke. I would be able to close the gap. But was I willing to read about her and Lucas? Obviously she was Lucas's great love. Otherwise, my father wouldn't have said that she played the leading role in the book. "Yeah, I'm fine." I ran my fingers through my hair and noticed that my hand was slightly trembling. "If I should like it," I began hesitantly. "How should we proceed then?"

"Well, the usual way. You go to Lucas Scott, tell him we're interested in turning his book into a movie, and then I'll handle everything else."

"You're asking me to go to Tree Hill?" I stammered.

"I would do it myself, but I'm currently having too much on my plate. And since you don't have any projects you're working on anyway, I thought you could do it." He tapped on the table. "All right, take your time with reading and then call me, all right?"

"Yes, I'll do that. I'll get in touch with you later." He had barely left my office when I opened the book and then began to read. The next few hours I spent immersing myself into the world of Lucas Scott, and I had to agree with my father. The book was good and perfect for turning it into a movie or even a series. I picked up the phone and called my father. "I agree," I said even before he could say a word. "I'll do it. I'll drive to Tree Hill to meet Lucas Scott."


	9. Chapter 9

****Brooke's POV****

 **Clothes Over Bros Store**

When Haley rushed into my shop, I just had time to put my drawing aside before she greeted me exuberantly.

"Hi, Brooke! I'm sorry to bother you at work, but there's something I need to tell you right now," she said excitedly.

"You could have called," I suggested, shrugging.

"Yes, I could have, but the matter is far too important. I just had to come here personally."

"Are Jamie and Nathan all right?" I asked alarmed as I noticed her nervously chewing on her lower lip.

"Yes, they're fine. Well, maybe it's better you take a seat?"

"Hales, what is it? You know you can tell me everything, right?"

She nodded. "Do you still remember your dream?" She asked hesitantly.

"What dream?" I asked, knowing exactly what dream she meant. But what did my dream of Julian have to do with her appearance?

"You know... you and Julian on the beach... how the two of you were kissing?"

I nodded. "Yes, I remember that. What about it?"

"It might be that this dream may come true soon."

"What?" I exclaimed, looking at her in disbelief. When she came up to me and then looked at me with a serious face, I became nervous.

"He's back, Brooke! Julian is in Tree Hill."

"What are you talking about?" I stammered as my heart began to race. That couldn't be! That was impossible!

"Peyton told me," Haley went on. "He was probably with her and Lucas to acquire the rights for the book. He calls himself now Julian Baker and is a film producer in Los Angeles. He would like to make a movie of 'An Unkindness of Ravens'."

"Lucas's autobiographical book?" I stammered as I felt my legs suddenly turn to jelly. Haley must have realized that I was about to topple over so she quickly shoved me over to a chair.

"Gosh, Brooke, if I'd known that this news would still have such an effect on you, I would have told you more gently. You're white, like the wall behind you!"

I pressed my hand to my wildly beating heart, gasping for breath. "I... I'm fine," I panted.

"Can I continue?"

I nodded and took a few deep breaths. "Yes, keep talking," I urged her as my pulse had returned to normal.

"Well, Lucas has agreed and now all they have to do is find a director. They want to shoot at the original locations, here in Tree Hill."

I just stared at her and tried again to recap what she had just told me. "So Julian is here to make a movie?" I repeated mechanically.

"Yes, he and his father want to produce this film together, as Peyton told me. He must have been very excited about the book." She grinned. "Maybe it's because you play a not insignificant role in this book."

My cheeks were burning with shame as I thought about what Lucas had written about me. And Julian had read everything! Groaning, I put my hands over my face. "That's a disaster, Hales!" I blurted out.

"Nonsense! You were 17. You just check guys out until you find the right one."

I glared at her outraged. "It's all very well for you to talk! You only had one, and you didn't jump through dozens of beds!"

"I repeat, you were 17!"

"And I had the reputation of a slut," I mumbled. "But I had that reputation, before I even met Julian."

"Well, you see, he knew about you from the beginning and still fell in love with you."

I closed my eyes. That Julian was back reopened old wounds, which I believed had long healed. But it was only a few weeks ago that I lit a candle for my 'star child'. Nothing was forgotten or healed. I simply lied to myself all the time.

"Brooke?"

I looked up, Haley must have seen the desperation in my eyes, because she came up to me and hugged me.

"You never really had closure with this topic. Maybe this is a good opportunity to finally put an end to it."

Or to go back to the start, I silently added and immediately dismissed the thought. Hadn't I recently thought about the possibility that Julian might have a wife and children? Maybe Haley was right and I should put him out of my mind once and for all. "Thanks for telling me all this," I told Haley, forcing a smile. "If you see Lucas, tell him I'm happy for him."

"I will." Haley nodded. "But now I have to go."

When she had left the store, I sat down at my drawing table and began to draw. The new dress had to be finished in a few weeks, because then Lucas and Peyton's wedding would take place. I smiled involuntarily as I thought about how much they loved each other. They were both no longer the high school teenagers they used to be when they fell in love. And I wasn't either. Almost everything had changed in the last 5 years. With one exception, as I had to admit to myself now: I had never stopped loving Julian!

 ** **Julian's POV****

 **Clothes Over Bros Store**

 **One day later**

When I entered Brooke's store, the first thing I heard was the song 'Don't You...' from 'The Breakfast Club'. I came here with the purpose of asking her to become a costume designer in my new movie. Suddenly I was back to the day, 5 years ago, when Brooke danced in my room. And now she was leaping through the shop just the same, wiggling her hips and tossing her head. My pulse climbed up and my hands became sweaty. I was suddenly the boy from high school again, on the way to his first date. She had turned her back to me when I entered the store and I didn't know if I should bother her or just leave. But before I could put my thoughts into action, she turned around and stopped dead in her tracks. When our eyes met I noticed how she brushed a strand of hair aside that had fallen over her forehead. "Hey, Brooke!"

"Julian!"

I did what I always did when I didn't know what to say; I smiled.

"I've heard that you're back in town. What do you want?"

If she was surprised by my sudden appearance, she didn't show it at least. She had her arms crossed over her chest and stared at me with narrowed eyes. My heart sank. I hadn't expected such a frosty welcome. But what did I expect? She thought that I had abandoned her after I had left. She couldn't know that it had been the circumstances that had kept us from each other: my mother's addiction, her suicide attempt, the divorce she hadn't gotten along with, my accident, my desperate try to learn to walk again... all those things she couldn't know. I cleared my throat. "I'm here because I wanted to ask you if you want to become a costume designer in my new movie?"

"I'm not a costume designer. I'm working on a new collection."

"But you could be," I tried to persuade her. "What I see is really great. And besides, it would be authentic because you were part of the book and would be an important part of the movie as well." Her eyelids fluttered slightly and for a moment I saw uncertainty in her eyes. "Please, Brooke! I don't know anybody else to ask. My father pesters me to start with the shooting as soon as possible."

"So this is a desperate act because you don't have anybody else who would design your costumes?"

This time, I thought carefully before giving her my answer. "I talked to Peyton and Lucas. They think you are incredibly talented. You're creative, dependable, willing to work, and always eager to do your best. ' _And beautiful_ ,' I added in my mind. "That's exactly what I need in my team."

"I had no idea that Lucas and Peyton have such a high opinion of me."

I nodded. "They couldn't stop raving about you." As her mouth twisted into a small smile, I felt my mouth go dry. It was crazy that she still had that effect on me. I had to get out of here before I did something that I would probably regret - pulling her to me and kissing her. With trembling fingers I pulled my business card out of my pocket, walked past her to the counter and put the card on it. "Call me if you've made a decision," I said in a hoarse voice. When she suddenly turned to me and looked at me with her big, brown eyes, I knew it had happened again; I fell in love with Brooke Davis all over again.

 ** **Brooke's POV****

When Julian had left, I dropped to the nearest chair and pressed my hand against my wildly beating heart. I knew he was in town and would visit me sooner or later. But to see him in person, face to face, had stirred feelings inside me again. Time had changed him. The lanky boy of that time had become a handsome young man, probably with the ability to charm any women. When he had left the business card on the counter, my eyes involuntarily had gone to his hand, and I had been relieved to see that he hadn't been wearing a wedding ring. Not that it would change anything about my decision. In no case could I become a costume designer for his new movie. I could hardly bear having him near me. What would it be like to work together with him closely, over days, weeks, maybe months? I closed my eyes and suddenly had that scent of his aftershave in my nose again that I had been able to inhale as he had gone to the counter, and my knees went soft. It was just crazy and illogical that he still had that effect on me. Maybe even stronger than before. Frustrated, I had to admit that Julian Norris, or rather Baker, as he called himself now, was still a danger to me and probably always would be. I turned to the table and picked up my drawing. But after a few pencil strokes, it was clear to me that I wouldn't be able to do anything fruitful today. My mind was full of pictures and memories of Julian. I got up and grabbed the business card from the counter. I hesitated for a moment before slipping it into my pocket and reaching for my jacket and purse. I had to sort out my chaotic thoughts. And the best way to do it was to go home and take a bath. I turned off the radio and then left my store.

 ** **Brooke's POV****

 **Brooke's house**

"I think you should do it. Give yourself another chance."

I looked skeptically at Haley. "You're an incorrigible romantic, you know that?" I said, rolling my eyes. "You really believe that we can forget 5 years and start from scratch?"

"Yes, that's exactly what I think. Sometimes things are not as complicated as they seem."

"Just because he's not married and wants me on his team doesn't mean he wants me back," I pointed out.

"He wants you back, believe me." She raised her eyebrows meaningfully.

"And how would you know that?" I asked curiously, then looked at her expectantly.

"Peyton implied something like that," Haley admitted. "Julian was with Lucas and Peyton, and he must have been talking pretty emotionally about you, because Peyton called me later and literally said, 'He's still in love with her'."

I felt my heart beat faster. "Is that so?"

"Yeah, and you know Peyton would never say that if she wasn't 100 percent sure it's true. Now make an effort and call him!"

"I don't know, Haley." I began to chew nervously on my lower lip. "What if Peyton is wrong? Then I'll make a fool of myself again."

Haley rolled her eyes. "Why did you order me to your place and ask for my help, if you don't take my advice?"

Nervously I ran a hand through my hair and noticed how my hands were shaking. "I'm scared, Hales," I confessed softly.

"Yes, I know."

She took my phone and the business card from the table and held both out to me.

"Call him!" She repeated again and nodded encouragingly. And I reluctantly picked up my cell phone, typing in the number...

 ** **Julian's POV****

 **Tree Hill Diner**

I sat in the diner, my phone next to me, waiting for it to ring. I didn't know if my speech to Brooke would convince her to become my costume designer. I just knew that I wanted it more than anything else. Seeing her again has brought up so much memories, but also new hopes. She wasn't married or otherwise tied, as Lucas had entrusted to me, so I had the courage to go to her and offer her the job. Now it was up to Brooke to call me. I was briefly interrupted in my train of thought when the waitress came and put my hamburger with fries in front of me and then disappeared again. Automatically, I began to eat, thinking of what to do if she rejected me. I sighed frustrated and closed my eyes.

"May I have this seat?"

I opened my eyes again and stared at the young woman, who now sat down opposite me and threw back a strand of her blond curls. "Peyton." My mouth twisted into a smile.

"Have you met Brooke?" She asked curiously.

I nodded. "She has yet to think about it," I said curtly and turned back to my burger.

"Listen, Julian," she began hesitantly. "I know you and Brooke had something going on in high school."

I dropped the burger and stared at her open-mouthed. "Where did you...?" I stammered, trying to catch my breath again. "I didn't say a word about it when I came to Tree Hill 5 years ago."

"No." She shook her head. "You didn't have to. I knew it before. Haley is a good friend of mine and Brooke," she confessed. "And back then when Brooke was in trouble..."

When she broke off the sentence and grabbed the menu and nervously fumbled with it, I frowned at her. "What kind of trouble?" I asked.

"Nothing. I meant to say, when Brooke was heartbroken because of you, Haley and I were there for her."

"Thanks." I forced a smile. "If you know what happened back then, you must think I'm the biggest jerk."

"You didn't tell me what happened to you back then. But I could tell you weren't feeling well."

I looked at her in surprise. "You noticed that?"

Peyton nodded. "I was torn at the time to tell Brooke. But she was with Lucas and I didn't want to destroy her happiness." She smirked. "At that time I was jealous of her. But Brooke just deserved some happiness after what she had gone through."

I frowned and looked at her. "What do you mean by that?"

"Her parents were separated and you were gone. She was just totally broken."

I lowered my head ashamed. "I wish I hadn't left Tree Hill back then," I said softly.

"When you were with Lucas and me recently, you talked so passionately about Brooke that I just felt there was more behind it. You came back because of her, right? You want to make this movie to be closer to Brooke again."

Was that really the reason? I asked myself at that moment. Would I have wanted to do the film if Brooke didn't play the female leading role? "You want to know what happened to me back then?" I took a deep breath. "My mother was very ill at the time," I began to tell my story. "When she decided to go to L.A., I went with her because I didn't want to leave her alone. My dad has always worked a lot and had only little time for us. We barely were arrived in L.A. when I had a car accident. I was in a coma for several days, and when I woke up, I couldn't walk anymore. I was in a wheelchair, helpless and desperate. But somehow I got on my feet again, literally. Months had passed since then, and I decided to take my life into my own hands. I went to Tree Hill because I wanted to apologize to Brooke and hoped she would give me a second chance. But she was with Lucas. And just like you, I didn't want to destroy that."

"Did you tell Brooke?"

"That I was here, or what happened to me?"

"Both. Honestly, Julian... if Brooke hesitates to take up the job as a costume designer, it's not because she doesn't want the job or doesn't care about you. It's because she's worried that her heart will get broken again."

I swallowed hard, knowing that Peyton was right. I had broken Brooke's heart at the time when I hadn't kept my promise. Maybe she was right. Maybe I should tell Brooke so she would understand why I made that decision.

Peyton got up. "Go to her, Julian, and talk to her. I think many things will be easier for the two of you then."

I nodded. "Yes, I'll do that." I put a few bills on the table and was about to get up when my cell phone rang. My hands shook slightly as I reached for it and then answered the phone. "Here's Julian."


	10. Chapter 10

**Brooke's POV**

 **Brooke's house**

I stood in front of the mirror, tugging at my too short and tight dress, while I wondered if it was a bit too sexy for a 'business meeting'. Tonight Julian and I wanted to meet for the first time and go through the first draft of my costumes. I had already prepared a lot and was really proud of my work. But most of all, I was looking forward to seeing him again. That's why I needed an extra long time to choose the right outfit. My hair, that I wore loose, was brushed until it fell silky and glossy over my shoulders. And I also had put a lot of effort into my make-up. Not to mention the procedure to remove all hairs from my body. And I couldn't have helped but bought new underwear. Black lingerie, matching to my skintight black and gray mini dress. Not that I intended to take it off, but you never knew what the evening would bring. I went to the fridge and looked inside. I had wine and beer, depending on how the evening would proceed. When it suddenly knocked on the door, my eyes went to the clock in alarm. He was too early! I wasn't ready yet. I straightened my top and went to the door. But it was not Julian who greeted me, but Haley.

"Wow, Brooke! Do you want to go out?"

I let her in and then quickly closed the door behind her. "No, I have my first meeting with Julian," I explained.

"In this outfit?" Haley raised her eyebrows in amusement.

"Is it too much?" I asked unsure and looked down at me.

"Depends on what you expect from the evening." She chuckled. "It definitely looks more like 'let's make out on the couch' than 'look at my draft'."

She was right. "I'm changing my clothes," I said with a sigh and was about to leave the room when she grabbed my arm.

"The question is what you really want, Brooke. Apparently it's not enough for you, to just work with him. You want more, right?"

I nodded sheepishly and lowered my head.

"That's fine."

"No, it's not," I said in frustration. "I'm not 17 anymore, Hales. If I start a relationship now, then it should be something permanent. I had enough affairs in the years before. What I'm looking for right now is the man who stays with me forever."

"Wow. Are you talking about marriage? Well, if I were in your place, Brooke, then maybe I wouldn't mention it towards Julian. I mean, there is nothing that drives men away quicker than the mention of marriage."

"You're married too," I said, frowning irritably.

"Yes, but the beginning was not so easy. And I don't know if we would have married if I hadn't been pregnant. But you're right. Meanwhile, marriage is even fun. But in the beginning it was hard work."

"I just want to do it right this time," I admitted with a sigh. "At that time we reacted on impulse. I want to create a basis for us this time."

She assessed me from top to bottom. "Yeah, you're right. You should change your clothes. Otherwise you will send out the wrong signals."

I ran to my bedroom, pulled a pair of light blue jeans and a peach top out of the closet and ran back. "Better?" I held my clothes up in the air.

"You should probably wear a loose blouse over the top. But then it's perfect," Haley said.

I looked at her thoughtfully. "Why are you here?" When she started to grin and look embarrassed on the floor, I dug deeper. "Spit it out! What's the reason you came to my place?"

"Peyton told me that you have your meeting with Julian today," she confessed. "And I just wanted to give you moral support. I think I came in time."

"Right..." I sighed and tugged at my dress. "I'll change quickly. And if Julian's coming, tell him I'll be back in a minute." I was about to go to the bedroom when she called me back.

"Don't put too much pressure on yourself, Brooke. I mean, if you expect too much from this evening, you may just be disappointed."

She was right. Maybe I should just wait and see what the evening would bring and not force anything. "Thanks, Hales!" I hugged her briefly and then ran in my bedroom to change my clothes.

 **Julian's POV**

I had stood in front of the wardrobe forever and then decided for a black jeans, a white T-shirt and a plaid shirt. After all, it was not a real 'date', just a business meeting between Brooke and me, and I wanted to make a good impression. Not too formal, but not too casual. In any case, I brought a wine, in case we would sit together after the official part of our business meeting. Not that I planned something in particular, but I just wanted to be prepared. That's why I also put some condoms in my bag, along with the wine and the film script. Although I was well prepared, my heart was pounding when I finally stood at the door and knocked.

"Hi, Julian! Come in! Do you want something to drink?"

I pulled the bottle out of my bag and put it on the counter in the kitchen. "I brought wine. I hope that's okay for you?"

"Perfect. Shall we take a look at my designs right now?"

She looked incredibly sexy in her outfit, reminding me of the high school girl I fell in love with back then. She was so beautiful. Even more beautiful and desirable than I remembered. And while she showed me her costume drafts, I had to control myself, not to grab and kiss her.

"Phew, are you feeling as warm as me?"

She took off her blouse, tugged at her top, and I could only stare at her. The wine bottle was empty, and Brooke got up to fetch a new one. "Do you have candles somewhere?" I called to her. I don't know where I suddenly got the idea from, but I had the feeling a lit candle would add to the romantic mood. Candles, wine, perhaps soft music in the background. I closed my eyes for a moment. Gosh, I seem to have watched too many romantic movies lately. Next, the hero would kiss his sweetheart and then carry her into the bedroom.

"Candles and a lighter are in the drawer right behind you."

I got up, went to the cupboard and opened the drawer. I saw the candles and the lighter, but it was something else that caught my attention. I pulled out the black and white picture and stared at it in disbelief. In the top corner was Brooke's name and below was a date imprinted. It took me a while to get what I was holding in my hands.

"Oh, no...!"

I heard glass splintering on the floor and turned to Brooke. She stood rooted to the spot in front of me, staring at me with wide, horrified eyes. The wine bottle she had just taken out of the fridge lay shattered at her feet, the wine running unhindered across the floor.

"Julian... I... please let me explain!" She stammered.

I stared at the ultrasound image. "Is that... yours?" I managed faintly. I saw her eyelids flutter.

"No," she said softly. "Not mine... ours. It was _ours_."

"You... you were pregnant?" When she nodded and burst into tears, I felt as if someone had just pulled the rug out from under my feet. I clung to the edge of the table because everything started to spin in front of me.

"I'm sorry..."

Tears rolled down her pale cheeks as she looked up at me and begged for forgiveness. But I just wanted to leave. Without a word I turned around, stuffed the script into my pocket with trembling fingers and ran to the door.

"Julian!" She ran after me and blocked my way before I could open the door. "Please, let's talk about it!"

I had seen my mother try to kill herself, I had witnessed my parents getting divorced, I hadn't been able to walk for several months after my car accident and had thought my life was over. But I had survived all that and had fallen back to my feet. But now, for the first time in my life, I had the feeling that I would never recover from what I just learned. I pushed Brooke aside, opened the door and ran away.

 ** **Brooke's POV****

When Julian left, I broke down crying. All the hopes I had for a fresh start with him were shattered like the bottle of wine on the floor. I don't know how long I've been lying on the floor, whining over my messed-up life before I finally got up and called Haley.

"Can you come? I need you," I sobbed into the phone. It was good that she didn't ask any questions and promised to come over right away. When she finally stepped into my house, she didn't come alone. Peyton was with her.

"Are you all right?" Haley asked worriedly.

Peyton held out her phone to me. "Lucas called me earlier and told me that Julian sent him a text saying that he would withdraw from the contract. He doesn't want to do the movie." She frowned questioningly. "What happened?"

Both glared at me and I knew that I had to say something. "He found out about the baby," I said in a strangled voice, wiping my eyes. "He searched for candles and then found the ultrasound image in the drawer."

"Oh, no!" Haley exclaimed. "What did he say?"

"Nothing, he just ran away," I said in a low voice.

"It was probably a shock to him," Peyton guessed. "The last time I talked to him, he couldn't wait to see you again. He still loves you, Brooke," she professed.

"Not anymore." I shook my head sadly. "Now he hates me."

"What should he hate you for?" Haley shook her head. "That you lost your baby? That wasn't your fault."

"You should have seen how he looked at me, as... as if I had killed his child," I said, noticing tears forming in my eyes. "He hates me for not being able to prevent it."

"No, Brooke, don't say that!"

When Haley put her arm around me and comforted me, I let the tears run free.

"I have no idea what he's up to now, but I know he lives in the hotel. I'll go to him and talk to him," Peyton said firmly. "Maybe he listens to me and I can persuade him to reconsider his decision again. After all, this is not just about you and Julian, but also about Lucas and me. And for Lucas, it's important that this movie will be made." She looked at Haley. "Will you stay here and take care of Brooke?"

"Sure, I'll stay here," Haley promised.

I was glad that at least one of my friends stayed with me, because I didn't want to be alone right now. When Peyton left, I picked up the ultrasound image of the floor where Julian had dropped it and put it back into the drawer. "I should have been honest with him from the beginning," I said softly. "He had a right to know."

"You tried," Haley said. "You called him back then. Can't you remember?"

I nodded. "It's been 5 years. I should have just found time between then and now to tell him in person. Instead, he had to find out that way."

"I'm so sorry, Brooke. I know how much you had looked forward to this evening and a reunion with Julian," Haley said sympathetically.

I forced myself to smile. "Do you want a hot chocolate?"

She nodded. "Yeah, why not. Chocolate heals all pain."

I looked at the floor where the broken bottle was still lying. "Let me quickly remove the glass pieces, and then we'll both drink a nice cup of hot chocolate." I went to the back, got a bucket and rag, and began to clean up the mess.


	11. Chapter 11

**Julian's POV**

 **Hotel room**

I was convinced that I did the right thing when I threw my clothes carelessly into my travel bag and then zipped it up. It was the only wise thing to do. I couldn't produce the movie. Not after I had learned that Brooke had aborted our child. I dropped onto the bed and closed my eyes. I saw her again, looking at me with her big, brown, tear-wet eyes, begging for my forgiveness. But I couldn't forgive her that. In no way. She had killed our baby because she wanted to carry on with her lazy life. I had read the book. I wasn't stupid. And she probably hadn't even cared. Not about the day on the beach when this miracle had come into existence, nor when she had decided not to have it. My hands involuntarily clenched into fists. It hadn't been just her decision. We should have decided that together. And suddenly I remembered something that I had almost forgotten. The calls, dozens of entries on my mailbox. The call on the day I had my accident. My heart skipped a beat. She had tried to reach me, I suddenly realized. She had wanted to tell me that she was pregnant, and I simply ignored her calls! The realization hit me like a punch in the stomach. It was my fault that our baby was dead! I've been so absorbed in my own thoughts that I didn't notice someone entering the room.

"Thank God, I reached you in time!"

I looked up and noticed that my vision was blurry. I quickly rubbed my eyes to wipe away the tears. "What do you want, Peyton?"

"Just talk to you, Julian. May I sit down?"

I was too tired to argue with her, so I nodded and moved aside so she could sit next to me.

"I know what happened between you and Brooke," she came straight to the point. "Haley and I were with her earlier. She's completely devastated."

"The... the trouble Brooke allegedly had at that time," I began hesitantly. "It wasn't because her parents split, was it?"

Peyton shook her head. "No, Brooke had just learned about her pregnancy. I only found out later when it was already too late." She sighed softly. "It was terrible for her. First she loses you and then the baby too."

"What?" I raised my head and looked at her in disbelief.

"She lost it, Julian. What did you think?"

"I..." Suddenly my mouth went dry. Brooke hadn't aborted the baby, she had suffered a miscarriage. Oh man, what an idiot I was!

"She was in the third month of her pregnancy when she got a heavy bleeding. Haley and I took her to the hospital, but the doctors couldn't save the baby", Peyton went on.

"It's my fault," I stammered, watching Peyton frown at me. "She tried to call me," I confessed. "If only I had responded to one of her calls, then maybe our baby would still be alive."

"No, Julian. Absolutely not." She shook her head." Such things just happen without a reason." She grimaced. "Now that I've told you everything... Are you rethinking the decision about the movie?"

I looked at her thoughtfully for a moment and then nodded. "But before I can continue with the movie, I have to talk to Brooke. I just rushed out of the house without listening to her."

She got up. "Then let's go together. You can unpack your things later."

I was glad that Peyton had been so honest with me. And when we left my hotel room together, I realized that I just found my first real friend in Tree Hill.

 **Brooke's POV**

Haley had left the house after spending more than two hours with me, talking and comforting me. It was good to be able to talk to her about everything. She had been there for me back then and knew how I felt now. Peyton hadn't called back. So, apparently, she hadn't succeeded in changing Julian's mind. I decided to end the day and go to bed when there was a knock at the door. My eyes went to the clock. Who else wanted something from me shortly before midnight? Curiously, I went to the door, opened it and then reflexively held my breath. Julian stood in front of me, holding a huge bouquet of red roses in his arms, and he grinned at me with that smile that I hadn't been able to resist ever since.

"May I come in?"

My throat was tight, I just nodded while my heart was pounding so loud I was afraid he might hear it.

"I came to apologize," he said in a gentle voice. "For everything I said and did. And also for everything that I didn't say and didn't do. I know that I can't undo the last few years. 5 years is a long time. But I hope you can forgive me and give us another chance."

Not only my heart was pounding, but my legs were suddenly soft as rubber as well. He looked pleadingly at me with his dark brown eyes and I could only nod because I was lost for words. When he smiled, I couldn't resist him anymore. I made a step towards him, took the roses out of his hands and dropped them carelessly to the floor before wrapping my arms around his neck and pressing my mouth to his. I heard him moan softly and deepened the kiss until we were completely out of breath and needed a break.

"I love you, Brooke Davis," he whispered softly.

I ran my fingers through his dark, wavy hair and pulled him closer to my lips. "Show me," I breathed to him, closing my eyes as he suddenly lifted me up onto his arms and carried me over to the bedroom.

 **Julian's POV**

I thought I was dreaming when I awoke in Brooke's bed the next morning. She lay next to me; beautiful, naked, in deep sleep. I took the opportunity to look at her and felt my heart pounding as I remembered the last couple hours. We had made love, intensively, passionately, as if we wanted to make up for the last 5 years. Although I did have a few relationships after Brooke, it was nothing like what I experienced last night. As if she had noticed that I was staring at her all the time, she suddenly opened her eyes and grinned at me.

"Good Morning! Did you sleep well?"

I rolled my eyes. "Not much. There was someone who held me back from sleep."

She laughed. "You could have said 'no' the third time, but I thought you didn't have enough."

"I didn't," I confessed, leaning over to kiss her gently. "That was just incredible. I know now why you were so popular in high school."

"Hey, don't be so sassy!" She said pouting and then grinned. "You weren't that bad either. Seems like you've learned a bit in the last 5 years."

"A little," I confessed with a smile, sliding my fingers through her hair. "But nobody inspired me as much as you did."

"Did I just dream it, or did you really say 'I love you' to me?" She asked softly.

"No, you didn't dream that." I ran my lips over her cheek. "And if you want, I'll gladly repeat it again." I tenderly bit her earlobe. "I love you," I whispered.

"I love you too," she confessed. "I never stopped loving you, even though there were a lot of guys in my life after you. But I didn't love them as much as I loved you."

"Not even Lucas Scott?"

"He never really loved me," she said softly. "He always only wanted Peyton. But he was there for me after I..."

I knew how the sentence would go on when she stopped and lowered her head. "Hey..." I lifted her chin gently. "Peyton told me everything. I'm so sorry that I wasn't there for you."

"I'm still lighting a candle on his or her death anniversary," she confessed softly. "Foolish, right?"

My stomach contracted painfully. "No, not at all. Everyone mourns in their own way," I said softly, wiping a tear from her cheek.

"Should I make breakfast now, or would you like to cuddle a little more?" She suddenly changed the topic.

"Cuddle a bit more," I replied with a grin, pulling her closer to me and placing my lips to her mouth.


	12. Chapter 12

**Julian's POV**

 **Julian's office, Tree Hill**

 **Three months later**

When I had decided to make a movie from Lucas's book, I hadn't expected so much resistance. It had taken forever to turn the book into a script because there had been some changes to make. And then we had searched forever for a location where we could film. From the beginning, it had been clear to my father and me that we wanted to film at the original locations and only go to a rented studio for the indoor shots. With our vision in mind and a finished script, we had started searching for a director and had found that no one really shared our ideas. It had taken us a long time until we finally had found the right director. And now it could start. Today was the first casting and I was really nervous. My father promised to come in time, but so far I waited in vain for him. Deep in thought, I opened the drawer and took out the small box that I had picked up a few hours ago at the jeweler. When I just lifted the lid and looked at the ring lying on the inside of the box on a velvet pad, I suddenly heard a noise.

"Nice rock. For Brooke?"

Startled, I let the box snap shut and looked at my father with a wry smile. "Yes, for whom else?"

"You want to propose to her?" He asked in surprise.

I nodded. "I think it's the perfect time. The script is written, everything is settled, and if the casting is successful today, we can start with the shooting soon."

"I don't want to dampen your enthusiasm, my son, but just think how long the two of you know each other."

"Half of my life," I said, shrugging.

"It was clear that you would say that." He rolled his eyes. "Let me tell you how long you know each other... 3 months. That's only 12 weeks, Julian. You can't marry a woman you know only a few weeks! "

"You sound like Mom." Sighing, I opened the drawer and put the box back.

"I know you don't want to hear it, but your mother is just worried. She had to witness how you had gone crazy about this girl and..."

"This 'girl,' as you call her, may soon be my wife, the mother of my children, your daughter-in-law," I said determinedly, holding my chin defiantly. "This time you and Mom won't destroy my happiness!"

He simply shrugged.. "You're 24, Julian. You're no kid anymore. I'm the last one who wants to dictate what you should do. It's your decision."

"Thanks." I nodded to him with a serious expression. "And now to business."

Although I concluded the topic in front of my father, it still kept me mentally busy until I came home in the evening. The first casting didn't go so well. We couldn't agree on actors for the lead roles. But I consoled myself with the thought that there would be more castings. It had taken a long time to write the script, so we would patiently wait for the perfect candidates. I looked at the clock. I didn't have much time left until Brooke came home from work. Today I wanted to surprise her with the marriage proposal and I prayed inwardly that she would say 'yes'. I didn't care what my parents thought about it. Brooke and I belonged together, and I wanted to seal this with an engagement ring. Since I had two left hands in the kitchen, I prepared only some cold food and drinks for us and placed them on the table. In the entire room I had arranged burning candles, and to make the romantic mood even more perfect, slow music was playing in the background. I was well prepared and still nervous what she would say. When the door suddenly opened and Brooke walked into the house, I felt my heart beat faster.

 **Brooke's POV**

 **Brooke's house**

When I entered and saw what Julian had prepared, I felt warm all over. He didn't forget it, I thought happily. Today was our three months anniversary and my desire for this state to never end, grew day by day. But I also remembered what Haley had said to me then, that there would be nothing that would drive a man faster away than the mention of marriage. But I wanted to become Julian's wife. I wished it so much that it almost hurt! And I had entrusted myself to Peyton, who recently had gotten married and probably would understand my yearning. But she just had smiled and had said 'Don't be so impatient'. When I saw all this now, the burning candles, the set table with the red roses, soft music in the background, I immediately felt like making a marriage proposal here and now. But probably I would only ruin the mood with it. As he spread his arms and grinned at me, I took a step forward, wrapping my arms around his neck and kissed him.

"Do you like it?" He asked, pointing to the table.

"You cooked?" I asked in surprise.

"Well, not exactly," he said, smiling sheepishly. "There's finger food and salad and wine and champagne."

"Exactly how I like it best." I walked over to the table and sat down. "Is there a special occasion for this..." I pointed to the food.

"You forgot?" He asked, frowning playfully.

"You mean our anniversary?" I reached across the table for his hand and squeezed it slightly. "How could I ever forget the moment when you said 'I love you' to me for the first time," I said, smiling.

"I didn't tell you on the beach at the time?" He asked in astonishment.

I thought for a moment and shook my head. "No, I don't think so. You just said 'I already miss you so much, Brooke,' and then you kissed me and I kissed you, and then we kissed again, and..."

"Yes, I remember now," he said grinning. "Somehow we just didn't want to part."

"No," I said softly. "And what applied then, still holds true today." I took a deep breath to give me the courage to finally tell him what had been on my mind for weeks. "Listen, Julian," I started, clearing my throat again. "We've been living together for several weeks now, and I think it's time to take our relationship to the next level." I waited, while looking at him expectantly, and then was confused when he started to laugh. "What's so funny?" I asked bewildered.

"That should have been my line," he said, still laughing.

Upset and mortified, I looked at him and didn't understand what had been so funny about my statement that he had to make fun of it. I withdrew my hand and got up quickly. "I don't think that's funny!" I said, glaring at him while crossing my arms over my chest. "I meant it quite seriously. And now... now I need fresh air!" I turned away, noting tears in my eyes. To weep in front of him was the last thing I wanted. He jumped up and grabbed my arm before I could reach the door. Slowly he turned me to him and looked at me with a serious expression.

"You spoiled my surprise, you know that?" He said in a low voice.

"What?" I looked at him confused because his words made no sense to me at all. But when he suddenly dropped to his knees in front of me and pulled out a small box, I reflexively held my breath. I was such an idiot! He wanted to propose to me as, I realized now, when he flipped the box open and a beautiful diamond ring came to light. My throat was suddenly tight and I could only stare at the ring.

"Will you marry me, Brooke Davis?" He asked softly.

I just nodded and suddenly noticed tears running down my cheeks as he got up, took the ring out of the box and slipped it on my finger.

"Does that mean 'yes'?"

"Yes," I breathed and then wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him.

"I was hoping you'd say that."

"And I thought you would never ask me that," I confessed with a grin and then quickly pressed my lips to his mouth again before he could say another word. I couldn't remember ever being so happy in my life. I had waited a long time for this happiness. And I hoped that from now on it would never leave me again.

 ** **Julian's POV****

 ** **Audition room****

 ** **A few weeks later****

The pre-screening was progressing well and we had already cast most of the roles. Only the lead actors, Lucas, Peyton and Brooke, were not cast yet. But we were confident that we would find the right actors very soon. Everything was perfect at the moment. Brooke and I enjoyed our time together as a 'freshly' engaged couple and we made plans for the future. We didn't have a specific date for the wedding, as we wanted to wait until the shooting was over. And that could take months. I looked at my list of roles to cast and then to my dad. "What else do we have today?" I asked him.

"The audition of 'Peyton' and 'Brooke'."

"Good. Then let the girls in." I grinned at him and leaned back in my seat. Over the next hour, there were more than a dozen 'Peytons' and 'Brookes', but not one of them could win us over.

"We still have one left. And you will be very surprised."

When my father started to grin, I frowned in confusion. And then she came in and I felt my hands become sweaty and my mouth go dry. "Chelsea?" I stammered, just staring at her.

"Hi, Julian."

I felt my father looking curiously at me from the side and took a deep breath. I had to behave professionally if I wanted to get through this. "What role do you want to audition for?" I asked unnecessarily. Because, of course, I knew what role she wanted.

She threw back her long, dark hair and smiled. "I would like to audition for 'Brooke', who else?"

Of course she wanted to audition for 'Brooke'. That had been exactly the reason why I got involved with her 5 years ago. I had met Chelsea Cherney, a young aspiring actress, on my dad's film set. I just had returned from Tree Hill with the news that Brooke loved Lucas Scott and had been heartbroken about it. Because my mother had felt sorry for me, she had asked my father to take me to his set so I could find a distraction there. And then I had seen her there for the first time. With her dark hair and brown eyes, she had been the spitting image of Brooke. And when we had slept together for the first time, I had envisioned it was Brooke and not Chelsea who had been in my arms. The affair had lasted only for a few weeks, because I quickly realized that she wanted more from me than I had been able to give her. My heart had already been given away, and I had no second one. She had a hard time accepting my decision. There had been tears and accusations. But I had remained adamant. And finally, she had left and never contacted me again. It was a shock for me now to see her standing in front of me again. I cleared my throat and looked at our director. "Give her the script," I said in a hoarse voice. "Let her read the text."

"She was good, very good in fact. This is our 'Brooke'!"

My father was generally hard to impress, but this time he was totally excited. And I had to agree with him. Chelsea would make a fantastic 'Brooke'. But I shook my head stubbornly. "No way!"

"Because you had something going on with her years ago?"

I gave him an annoyed look. "I was 19 at the time and didn't even know what I was doing. She seduced me, not the other way around."

"Yes, I can understand that," he mumbled. "She's hot."

I looked at him in disbelief. "Okay, Dad, I know your lady-lovers are usually a lot younger than you, but Chelsea could be your daughter!"

"But she isn't." He grinned. "And honestly, Julian, I hardly believe you would push her out of your bed if you weren't engaged."

The only reason why I had slept with her was because she had reminded me of Brooke. But I didn't say that to my father. He would probably just make fun of it. He simply didn't understand what true love really meant.

"So, what do you mean, shall we call her and tell her that she got the role?"

I fought an inner battle. I really wanted to do this movie. And I needed the best actors for that. Chelsea was perfect. She would portray the 'Brooke' on screen just as my dad and I had envisioned. "For all I care," I agreed halfheartedly.

"Fine. I'll call her in a second. You won't regret your decision."

When my father jumped up and ran out of the room, I closed my eyes. I already regretted that decision because I had seen Chelsea staring at me all the time, like a fox in front of a rabbit hole. Sighing, I rose. I wanted to go home, to my Brooke, cuddle up with her and just forget the day.


	13. Chapter 13

**Brooke's POV**

Instinctively I sensed that something had happened at the casting when Julian came home. His mood was depressed and he seemed somehow absent. He was silent most of the time at dinner, and I was really worried.

"Was it that bad today?" I asked compassionately.

"What?"

"The casting. How was it?" I repeated and frowned as he lowered his head and avoided my gaze. "Julian?"

"It was... successful."

"But that's good, right?" I looked at him in confusion. 'Successful' meant that they had cast the roles. But why wasn't he happy about it? "What roles did you cast?"

"The 'Brooke'.

"Really?" I felt my heart beat faster with joyful excitement. "When can I meet her?"

"You want to meet her?"

"Of course." I frowned about his odd question. "I want to help her to portray the role more authentically. I also have some clothes from my high school days. She can wear some of them." I looked at him questioningly. "What size is she?"

"Normal, I guess." He shrugged.

"What does 'normal' mean?" I asked, frowning.

"I think your clothes will fit."

When he suddenly jumped up and began to clear the table, I also got up and walked after him. When he had put the last of the dishes in the dishwasher, I put my arms around his neck. "I'm so glad you've cast the roles now," I said softly. "Then we can start shooting soon, which means the movie will be finished sooner and then we can get married."

"We don't have to wait for the movie to be finished," he said out of the blue.

"What do you mean by that?" I asked confused.

"Let's run off! Let's fly to Las Vegas and get married!"

"But... Julian..." I stammered perplexed. "What about our families and friends? And besides, I thought that we would get married in a church and then have a big party afterwards."

"We can have this later, I promise. But it may take forever for the movie to be finished. I don't want to wait that long. I want you to become my wife now, Brooke Davis!"

He knew exactly which buttons he had to press to get what he wanted. And when he looked at me pleadingly with his dark brown eyes and then smiled, my resistance melted away. "Okay," I agreed hesitantly.

"Really?" He asked.

"Yes, let's do it." I laughed as he suddenly lifted me up and spun me around in circles.

"I love you!" He said softly.

"I love you even more!" I whispered and sealed his mouth with my lips.

 **Brooke's POV**

 **Las Vegas**

 **The next day**

I wasn't completely awake yet and my eyes were still closed, when I felt Julian's soft lips on mine.

"Good morning, Mrs. Baker. Did you sleep well?"

"I'd say I definitely didn't have enough sleep that night," I mumbled sleepily.

"I wonder why?" He asked, smiling mischievously.

I turned to him and placed my hand around his neck. "It's probably because I couldn't resist my sexy husband." He laughed and grabbed my hand.

"You know, that this ring is just temporary? As soon as we are back home, I'll buy you a new wedding ring."

"Wedding ring," I said slowly, emphasizing each syllable as I looked at the ring. "I still can't believe we're really married."

"Should I pinch you, so you know you're not dreaming?" He asked with a grin.

"If that's a dream, then I'll never want to wake up." I pulled him closer to me until our lips touched.

"You're driving me crazy, you know that?"

When he moaned softly and then returned my kiss passionately, I felt like in seventh heaven. For a moment I just wanted to forget the reality. And reality meant that we would be returning to Tree Hill in a couple hours. We would have to catch up on our honeymoon later. First, we had to tell our family and friends. And I was really looking forward to Haley's and Peyton's reaction once they find out that Julian and I had gotten married. But when I thought of Julian's parents, I got a queasy feeling. I hadn't forgotten how Sylvia Baker had looked at me when I first came to her house. And I suspected that her opinion of me hadn't changed in the last 5 years.

"What are you thinking about?"

"We have to tell your parents," I said, grimacing. "And I'm quite scared of that."

"No need to be scared. I'm here."

"My God, what have I done to deserve you?" I leaned my forehead against his and sighed softly.

"Hey, Brooke, look at me."

I raised my eyes to him, and he gently caressed my cheek.

"I already told you that I don't care what my parents or other people think about us. What matters is what we both want. And I know exactly what you want. I can see it in your eyes."

"Really? Only in my eyes?" I asked teasingly and wrapped my leg around his waist.

He turned and looked at the alarm clock. "Okay, let's have another round. But then we have to get up, take a shower, have breakfast and pack our things. The plane back to Tree Hill will leave in two hours."

"I can shower and get dressed in 10 minutes, maybe have breakfast in 20, and we don't have to pack much, because we just stayed overnight anyway," I told him. "Remains about 1,5 hours to fulfill our marital obligations."

"Then we better shouldn't waste any time."

"No, we shouldn't," I whispered huskily, then lowered my mouth to his.

 **Julian's POV**

The flight from Las Vegas to Tree Hill had taken only about 4 hours, but when we arrived home, we were completely exhausted. I had to smile when I saw Brooke yawning.

"Should we go to the bedroom?" I suggested, waiting for her reaction.

"Julian Andrew Baker!" She said indignantly. "Don't you want to give me a break?"

"To sleep, Brooke," I clarified, laughing. "Not to make love. We hardly got any sleep last night, and I'm really tired."

"Yeah, me too," she said, suppressing a yawn. "But first I want to call Haley and Peyton. They're probably worried."

I rolled my eyes. "If you call them now, you won't be able to get rid of them." I put my arm around her. "You can tell them later that you're Mrs. Baker now," I said grinning.

"Yes, you're right," she reluctantly admitted. "That saves me their accusation for the moment."

"You can tell them that we'll make a big party later," I said. "Maybe this will appease them."

She nodded and headed for the bedroom. "Are you coming?"

I followed her into the bedroom, and we cuddled together in the bed.

"Good night, Mr. Baker," she said, rolling over.

"Good night, Mrs. Baker." I put my arm around her waist and snuggled against her back.

"I know these words. I just can't remember from where?"

"The Waltons," I suggested, laughing softly. I kissed Brooke's neck one last time before closing my eyes and then fell asleep immediately.

 **Brooke's POV**

 **Clothes Over Bros**

I was working on some new drafts for the movie when the door opened and Haley came rushing into the store.

"Okay, where's the big surprise that you couldn't talk about on the phone?" She asked curiously, looking around.

I put my drawing aside, and with a smile, stretched out my left hand. Her eyes widened and her jaw dropped when she saw the wedding ring.

"Brooke!" She exclaimed stunned. "You... you are... married?!"

"As you can see," I said, smiling. "Julian and I flew to Las Vegas the night before and gave us the 'yes-word'."

"In such a cheesy wedding chapel with Elvis as a witness?" She asked, frowning.

I nodded reluctantly. "It doesn't matter how you get married. Significant is that Julian and I are married now."

"But what about us?" I could see from her expression how disappointed she was. "Do you still remember the plans you made how your wedding should be while you were a kid?" She shook her head. "There was nothing like 'get married in a cheesy wedding chapel, without family and friends, without a party and a wedding cake, and without...'"

"Oh, Hales, I'm sorry!" I hugged her quickly before she could continue. She let me squeeze her and then moved away a bit.

"What's the rush, Brooke?"

I saw her gaze wander to my waist, guessing what she was thinking. "I'm not pregnant, if you think that," I said hastily. "You know I can't have children."

She frowned. "Technically, that's not quite correct, because you could get pregnant. You just have to find a way to keep the baby."

"Which is practically impossible." I rolled my eyes. "Well, like I said, that's not why Julian and I got married."

"And what was the reason?" She pried.

"We really wanted to wait for the movie to be finished. But that would have taken forever. And we just love each other so much that we didn't want to wait any longer."

"Yes, I can understand that," Haley admitted. "But I'm still disappointed."

"We'll catch up with everything," I promised. "Then you get your church wedding and your celebration." I grinned.

"What do Julian's parents say about that?"

I closed my eyes for a moment and sighed. "They don't know it yet. Julian wants to tell them today."

"And what about your parents?"

"Could we change the subject please?" I rolled my eyes.

"They also don't know anything about it?" Haley asked in disbelief.

I shook my head and grinned sheepishly. "They're both on business for the time being, so they wouldn't have time anyway to fly to Tree Hill and congratulate their daughter."

"Speaking of the truth..." Haley began hesitantly. "Does Julian know by now that you can't have children?"

I looked at the floor because otherwise Haley could have seen that I had a guilty conscience.

"Brooke!" Haley exclaimed in shock. "You still haven't told him?"

"No," I admitted meekly. "There hasn't been a good time yet."

"There will never be a good time for that. How long have you been together? Three months? You can't tell me that you haven't found the right moment to tell him that you can't have children in three months! You're scared, Brooke. That's the only reason you haven't told him yet."

I knew that Haley was right. Of course I was scared. Afraid that he would leave me then. Which wouldn't be so easy now because we were married. "I'll tell him," I promised.

"When?"

"I don't know..." I sighed and ran a hand through my hair. "Tomorrow... on the weekend... no idea."

"Do you remember what you said after Julian had learned about the miscarriage?" She took a deep breath. "You said you wished you had the courage to tell the truth between then and now. And now it's the same. You've kept a secret from him again for fear of his reaction."

I stood there, like a beaten dog, knowing that everything Haley had said was true.

"You're married now, and he's probably looking forward to have children with you. Most men want children. I hardly believe that Julian is the exception."

"No," I agreed. "I don't believe that either."

"You have to tell him," she insisted. "Preferably today."

I closed my eyes and suddenly felt Haley's arms around me. "How am I supposed to explain to him that he will never become a father?" I blurted out desperately, leaning my head against her shoulder.

"If you're worried that he might leave you then, I think I can reassure you," she said softly. "Julian loves you like crazy. He would never leave you again. And there is still the possibility to adopt a child."

I carefully freed myself from her arms. "Yes, I know that. Maybe we should think about adoption."

Haley nodded pleased. "You can do this, Brooke," she said with a smile. "Can I leave you alone now? I have to pick up Jamie. He stayed with a friend."

I nodded and forced myself to smile. "Of course. Just go. I have to keep working anyway to finish the costumes for the movie."

"If you need anything, call me, okay?"

I nodded. "Go!" I urged her and then looked after her before I went back to my work.


	14. Chapter 14

**Julian's POV**

 **On the film set**

The first day of shooting had arrived; everything was ready, everyone knew what to do. The director, my dad and I were ready to shoot the first scene. The actors, who would make their first appearance, had gathered. Except for one: Chelsea. I looked impatiently at the clock. "Did she forget we're shooting today?" I asked, looking at my dad.

"I doubt that. Only two days ago I called her and told her about it. I'm sure she will be here in a minute."

"Yes, I hope so," I mumbled. "Time is money."

We waited another 20 minutes when she finally showed up. And she wasn't alone. She carried a little boy in her arms, who she let drop at our feet when she had reached us.

"I'm so sorry!" She apologized. "But his babysitter is sick and there was no one else I could have asked."

I stared down at the little boy at my feet and my breath caught as he looked up at me, gazing at me with big, dark brown eyes.

"It's okay that he stays here, right?"

I looked into Chelsea's face as if I had just awakened from a dream. "How... how old is he?" I stuttered.

"He'll be four in a couple of weeks." She frowned. "He's absolutely potty trained, if you worry about that."

I just stared at her for a moment. That he couldn't be out of diapers was my least concern at the moment. I was much more occupied with another thought. But here was neither the right place nor the right time to discuss such things.

"Listen, Justin, Mommy is going to work a little bit now and you can stay here and play." She leaned down and got some bricks out of her backpack, which she handed to the child.

My mouth became dry. "Where... where is his father?" I managed to say.

"There is no father."

The answer came in a nutshell, and the way she clenched her teeth made it clear that she didn't want to say more about it. I noticed my father standing next to me.

"Sweet boy," he said, smiling. "Don't you think, Julian?"

I nodded mechanically because my throat was suddenly tight. Apparently, my father shared my suspicion, otherwise he wouldn't have made that remark. I just hoped that the filming day would pass quickly because I really needed to talk to Chelsea. Alone, in private.

"Be a good boy, Justin, you hear me?" She bent down to her son and fondled his chestnut-coloured curls. "Can we start now?"

I looked at her and nodded. With a last look at the playing boy, I followed my father and Chelsea to the set.

 **Brooke's POV**

I knew that today was the first day of shooting and I wanted to surprise Julian. But Haley's visit and our debate had delayed the visit, so that the day was almost over when I showed up in the hall where the shooting took place. As I didn't want to disturb, I stayed in the background when I suddenly heard a soft, pitiful sob that came from a corner. I followed the sound, shoved some boxes aside and then froze. Behind a box sat a small boy, who now looked at me with wide, scared eyes. I crouched in front of him. "Hey, you don't have to be scared. I'm not gonna hurt you." I looked around to see if his Mom was somewhere. "What's your name?" I asked him. He was apparently so scared that he wasn't even able to tell me his name and continued to stare at me with his dark eyes. I tried to smile. "Well, then I'll start. I'm Brooke."

"Brooke," he repeated.

"Yes, that's right. And you are...?" I waited patiently for his reply.

"Justin," he said softly.

"That's a beautiful name. How old are you, Justin?"

He raised his hand and showed three fingers. "Oh, you are three. Well, I'm a bit older. I'm 22. Can you count to 22 already?" A stupid question, because of course I knew that a 3-year-old couldn't count so far. But I just wanted to win his trust. And it didn't really matter what we talked about. I looked around. "Where's your mom?"

"Mom is working," he said, pointing to the set.

"Oh, your mom is one of the actresses," I said, straightening up. "Who is your mom?" When he pointed to a young woman with long, brown hair who happened to be wearing my outfit from high school, I had to smile involuntarily. "Your mom plays the 'Brooke Davis'," I said, smiling as he nodded eagerly. "I think your mom is done with the scene now. Shall we go and say hi to her?" I held out my hand to him, and when he gripped it, I felt a painful sting in my stomach. I envied Chelsea Cherney for her role as a mother. Something, that I would never experience and neither Julian.

"Let's go?"

I blinked a few times to get back to reality. "Yes, let's go to the others."

 **Julian's POV**

As Brooke approached with Justin at her side, my breath hitched. I could barely concentrate on work because I had been wondering all the time about whether the little boy might be my son. And now Brooke was here with him and I didn't know how to react. Even worse, Chelsea had noticed them and went up to them.

"Justin! I told you never to go with strangers!" Chelsea reprimanded her son.

"Brooke is not a stranger," he said, shaking his head defiantly.

I looked back and forth between the three of them and held my breath. Chelsea now seemed to get who was standing in front of her.

"Oh, my God!" She exclaimed excitedly. "You are Brooke Davis?!"

"Actually Brooke Baker." Brooke reached out to Chelsea with a smile to show her her wedding ring. "Julian and I got married on the weekend."

My eyes went to Chelsea. Was she jealous of the news that I was married? If so, she didn't show it at least.

"Oh, congratulations! Also for you, Julian, all the best!"

I forced myself to smile, but I felt more like crying. Brooke's unexpected appearance made it impossible for me to talk with Chelsea in private. I saw her approaching Brooke and then take the boy's hand.

"Come on, Justin. We're going home now." She smiled at Brooke. "And thank you for taking care of him."

I glanced at Brooke and saw in her eyes a mixture of sadness and longing. I frowned lost in thought. Was she just thinking of the baby, that she had lost and that probably would have been at a similar age as Justin? I closed my eyes and stifled a sigh. Was it really possible that I had impregnated two women at almost the same time without knowing it? What a mess!

"Julian?"

I opened my eyes again. "What?"

"Let's go home, too."

I nodded and then put my arm around Brooke's waist. "Yes," I muttered softly. "Let's go home."

* * *

 **Merry Christmas to all readers! :)**


	15. Chapter 15

**Brooke's POV**

Time had passed quickly. After we got home, I had made dinner for the two of us, and now we sat together on the couch, a bowl of potato chips on our lap, watching a movie. I looked at Julian. He had been very tense all evening and I wondered what was on his mind. I had promised Haley to talk to Julian about the issue that I couldn't have children, even though I didn't want to. But I knew it was important. The day on set and the meeting with Justin had made me painfully aware just how much I wanted a baby. I leaned against Julian's shoulder. "Do you still remember the day when you found out that I had the miscarriage?" I began hesitantly. He stopped eating his chips and looked at me from the side.

"Yes, why?"

"I wasn't completely honest with you back then," I confessed and waited for his response. He put the bowl back on the table and turned to face me.

"What do you mean by that?"

I closed my eyes because I couldn't stand his scrutinizing, questioning look. "The doctor in the hospital didn't only tell me that I had a miscarriage, he also told me that I can't have any more children," I said hurriedly. Keeping my eyes still shut, I couldn't see his reaction. But I also couldn't hear anything anymore, not even his breath. "Julian, please say something!" I begged and opened my eyes. He sat motionless, staring into blank space. "Julian?" I touched his arm gently, and slowly life came back to him.

"You knew that all the time and didn't tell me?" He asked in disbelief.

"I... I just didn't know how." I wrung my hands desperately. "You had just learned about the miscarriage. I didn't want to add this to your pain by telling you that you can never become a father." He suddenly jumped up and paced nervously up and down in front of me as he kept ruffling his hair. My stomach clenched. Was it too late? Did I lose him for good now? "If you had known before," I said softly. "I mean before you asked me to become your wife, would you have married me?"

He froze in his motion and gazed at me with a stunned look on his face.

"I love you, Brooke! And nothing, absolutely nothing in this world could have stopped me from marrying you!" he vowed.

"But... but what is it then?" As he sat down next to me and took my hands in his, I suddenly felt nervous. What was he going to tell me now?

"I wasn't completely honest either," he said reluctantly and took a deep breath "You remember Chelsea? You met her on set today. We were a couple back then. We met on my father's set in Los Angeles shortly after I had returned from Tree Hill," he confessed.

I saw them both in my mind's eye, and suddenly the image of a little boy with chestnut-colored curls and brown eyes came into my sight, and suddenly I knew what he was trying to tell me. "You are Justin's father!" I exclaimed in a flat voice, looking into his eyes to find the answer. "Am I right?"

He nodded. "Yes," he said in a low voice. "But I didn't know until today, when she brought him to the set."

"And what are you going to do now?" My voice was surprisingly steady, for that my world had just fallen apart. I had been wrong when I said that Julian could never become a father. He already was a father.

"I don't know," he said shrugging. "Now that I know I have a son, I would also like to be there for him. I've already missed the first four years of his life."

What am I doing here anyway? I asked myself. Julian had his little family. If he would get in contact with Justin, he would soon fall in love with Chelsea again. I suddenly felt like the fifth wheel. "I... need fresh air," I said and jumped up. Quickly I reached for the car keys and ran to the door.

"Where are you going? Brooke! You can't leave. It's already dark and it's storming and raining outside!"

I could hear what he said, and I also knew that it was stupid to drive through the area in stormy and rainy weather. But I had to do something to clear my head. I got in the car and drove off. But I quickly realized that I had underestimated the storm. It was not long before the gushing rain made the roads muddy and slippery and impassable. The view was already limited because the windshield wipers couldn't manage to get rid of that amount of water. I drove almost blindly, and was beginning to worry that I wouldn't find my way home. When I saw the tree lying in front of me on the road, it was almost too late to get around it. Reflexively, I jerked the steering wheel around and realized that I couldn't stop the car anymore. Helpless and in panic, I clung to the steering wheel, while the car skidded and spun uncontrolled and finally toppled over to the side and came to a stop in a ditch...


	16. Chapter 16

**Julian's POV**

I waited exactly one hour before picking up the phone and calling Haley. I had tried to reach Brooke on the phone before, but only the mailbox had been activated. After half a dozen recorded messages, I finally gave up. And gradually I wasn't just worried, but really scared. A look outside revealed that the rain still hadn't subsided. And in the news, new warnings were reported every few minutes. The thought that Brooke may have had an accident and was injured somewhere outside tormented me.

 _"Hello?"_

"Haley? Here's Julian. Is Brooke with you?" I came straight to the point.

 _"No, she isn't. What happened?"_

My heart started to beat like crazy. I had hoped so much that she had gone to her friend to cry her heart out. "We had a fight," I confessed, hearing a soft moan through the phone.

 _"She told you, right?"_

"That she can't have children? Yes, she told me." I didn't care what Haley thought about me. I just wanted to find Brooke.

 _"And that's why you had the argument?"_

"Not directly," I said reluctantly. "She also found out that I have a child with another woman," I confessed. Silence. I couldn't even hear Haley's breathing anymore. "Are you shocked?"

 _"Yeah, a little. I didn't expect that, and neither did Brooke it seems. Apparently you both had a secret to hide from each other."_

"It's not like that." I shook my head. "I only found out today and I have to deal with it myself."

 _"What exactly happened?"_

"We had a fight and then she just ran away. I haven't heard from her in over an hour. Haley, I'm really worried that something bad happened to her," I admitted.

 _"I'll let Nathan know, then we'll come over. We will look for her."_

"Maybe she's with Peyton," I suggested.

 _"I'm afraid no. Lucas and Peyton left for a few days. They didn't want to come back until next week."_

Now my last hope was gone.

 _"Julian? Don't worry. We'll find her."_

After she had hung up, I wandered through the house, hoping the phone would ring and Brooke would tell me she was fine. But the phone didn't ring and I gradually lost hope of ever finding her unharmed and well again.

 **Brooke's POV**

When the car tipped over on its side, I was paralyzed with fear for a moment. Complete darkness was around me, and I heard a gurgling sound below me. Apparently I had fallen into a ditch that was already full of water. I fumbled for my cell phone and just wanted to switch it on when I heard a humming sound and the display turned black. Great, the battery was empty! Now I didn't even have the chance to call anyone for help. And nobody knew where I was. I had to get out of here and find a way to attract my attention. The door couldn't be opened, so I freed myself from the seat belt and made my way to the back of the car. Under the backseat was the tool that I always had in case of a tire change. I grabbed the torque wrench and wriggled back up. Powerfully, I raised my hand and hurled the tool against the windscreen, but nothing happened. I don't know how long I battered against the glass until the material finally gave way and splintered. I wound my way through the narrow opening and landed in the mud. Unable to get through the darkness, I fumbled my way up and finally reached the road again. Exhausted, I remained lying for a moment, while the rain relentlessly lashed down on me and lightning and thunder brightened the sky. I knew that if I stayed here now, nobody would find me. I had to get up and walk along the road. With the hope that a passing car would stop and bring me to the nearest house or shelter I got up again and continued walking.

 **Julian's POV**

Water was pouring down and you couldn't see your hand in front of your face, when Haley, Nathan and I set off to find Brooke. So far, we hadn't found her car. I prayed that she hadn't come up with the stupid idea of leaving the main road. There were just too many exits. This way we never would find her.

"Don't you really have any idea where she could have gone?" Haley shouted from the back seat.

"No, if I knew I would tell you," I called back.

"Did you try to call her again?"

"Thousand times. But no response." I ran through my hair, sighing. "Hopefully it's just that the battery is empty. This happens often because she always forgets to plug it in the charger."

"The rain is getting worse and the road is muddy," Nathan intervened. "We can't continue like this for a long time..."

I winced as Haley suddenly screamed. "What is it?" I asked in alarm.

"Nathan, stop! I think I saw something flashing up there," she said, pointing to the roadside.

Nathan stopped and Haley immediately jumped out of the car, running to the spot where she thought she had seen something. I followed her, hoping it was Brooke. And then I saw her car lying on its side in the ditch. I ran, slid down the slope and immediately realized that the windscreen was broken. I managed to open the door and found Brooke's phone in the back of the back seat. The battery was empty. Exactly as I had suspected. Nathan had followed us and, like Haley, looked down at the car.

"Is she in there?" Haley asked frantically.

I shook my head and then slumped back into the mud. "If anything happened to her, it's only my fault!" I sobbed.

"Pull yourself together, Julian! If you lose your nerve now, we will never find her."

Haley's words put me out of my mental breakdown and I scrambled to my feet, then crawled out of the ditch back to the road.

"If she walked by foot, she might have met a car," Nathan said, shrugging. "Maybe she's already at home."

I looked around and saw only blackness in front of me. "Nobody leaves the house willingly in this weather."

"I have to agree with Julian. I don't think many cars are on the road now," Haley said.

"Okay, come on now. We keep looking for her." Nathan patted on my back and I followed him and Haley to the car and sat back down in the passenger seat.

 ** **Brooke's POV****

I completely had lost the sense of time and space as I walked down the road, hoping to meet a car or a human being. The darkness around me was oppressive and I barely felt my body because the rain had completely soaked my clothes. I froze miserably. If nobody would find me soon I would die on the roadside. This thought pushed me forward, but I also felt that I was losing more and more strength. I never should have left the car, I blamed myself. At least it had been warm and dry in there. But going back wasn't an option anymore because I didn't even know how far away I was from it. There was a hurdle on the road, but I noticed it too late. I stumbled over it, fell down and lay dazed in the mud for a moment. I had to stand up and continue walking, I admonished myself and wanted to get up, as a sharp pain went through my ankle. All attempts to get up again failed and I realized that I had probably broken a bone. Tears of despair mingled with the rain as I lay there exhausted. _That's it_ , I thought. _My life would end here._ I closed my eyes and surrendered to my fate.


	17. Chapter 17

**Julian's POV**

We had been driving down the road for a while when Haley suddenly screamed.

"Stop the car, Nathan! There she is!"

Nathan had barely stopped the car when I jumped out and walked to the spot where Haley had pointed. My breath caught as I saw a body lying in the mud, and my joy for finding Brooke turned into naked fear and horror.

"Is she... she...?" Haley stopped in the middle of the sentence and stared down at Brooke, who lay there motionless.

I went to my knees and pulled her onto my lap. The situation reminded me of the day when I had found my mother lifeless in the bathtub. I felt for her pulse and was relieved to feel a faint throb. "She's alive!" I shouted to Haley. "But her pulse is very weak and she's completely undercooled."

Haley turned to Nathan, who was now approaching. "Do you have a blanket in the car?" She asked.

Nathan nodded. "Bring her over. We can wrap her in the blanket there."

I took Brooke into my arms, lifted her out of the mud and brought her to the car. Carefully, I laid her down on the backseat and wrapped the blanket around her.

"Stay with her, Julian!" Haley instructed.

I did as she had said and climbed into the back to Brooke. In the sight of the inside light, I could see Brooke's deathly pale face and fear came over me. "Please don't die!" I stammered, feeling tears running down my cheeks. "Please, Brooke! You can't leave me alone!"

"Everything will be fine, Julian," Haley said, then turned to Nathan. "Drive faster! We have to bring her to the hospital as soon as possible!"

As we headed back towards the city, I held Brooke in my arms, praying we would make it in time. Her skin felt ice cold under my warm hands and her lips had turned slightly bluish.

"Is she still breathing?" Haley asked worriedly.

I nodded. "She's breathing, but weakly." I looked ahead to the speedometer. "Can we drive faster?"

"I'm afraid, no." Nathan shook his head. "The roads are too slippery. If I drive faster, we'll end up in the ditch as well."

It felt like an eternity as we finally arrived at the hospital. I lifted Brooke in my arms and carried her to the emergency room. Haley explained to the paramedics what had happened, and then somebody took Brooke out of my arms and put her on a mobile stretcher. "I'll go with her," I decided as they took her away. "I'm her husband." But just like back then, after my mother's suicide attempt, I had to wait outside until the exam was completed. And just like then the waiting had been unbearable for me. Haley sat down beside me and put her hand on my shoulder. "It's going to be okay, Julian," she said soothingly. "Brooke is tough. She survived worse."

I sat there, my head buried in my hands, tears streaming down my cheeks. I felt again like the 18-year-old boy who couldn't have prevented his mother's suicide attempt. Just like then I felt remorse.

"Mr. Baker?"

I looked up as a doctor approached me. "Yes?"

"Your wife is out of danger. She suffers from hyperthermia and her ankle is sprained. We've taken care of the ankle and now we're warming her up back to her normal body temperature. So far, she's still unconscious, but she's showing reflexes. We put her on a drip to stabilize her circulation."

"Can I see her?"

The doctor nodded, then turned to Haley and Nathan, who got up immediately. "Only the next of kin," he said.

I gave the two of them an apologetic look. "You wait here, okay? I'll let you know how Brooke's condition is as soon as possible."

Haley nodded. "Of course, we're waiting here."

When I entered Brooke's hospital room and saw her lying there, pale, lifeless, being on a drip, I had to fight back tears again. It was my fault she was here! If I hadn't told her that Justin was my son, then she wouldn't have felt compelled to run away. I should have known what this confession would trigger in her. I went to the bed and sat on the chair next to her, reaching for her limp hand. "I'm so sorry!" I stammered. "Can you ever forgive me?" I rested my head on her chest and just let the tears run. I didn't know how long I'd stayed in that position when I felt Brooke's hand on my head and heard her whisper my name...

"J-Julian?"

 **Brooke's POV**

When Julian lifted his head and looked at me, I saw tears in his eyes. Immediately I had a bad conscience. It was my fault he was feeling so bad! Running away and putting myself in danger had been stupid and childish. I knew he loved me. He had kept saying it over and over again. How could I have doubted it for just a second? And all because I was jealous of a girl that he hadn't seen in 5 years! He had just learned that he had a son. I should have helped him to deal with it instead of making his life miserable. "I'm... sorry!" I stammered.

"Shh... don't talk," he said softly. "You need to rest."

"No... please, listen to me!" I managed weakly and squeezed his hand. "I'm really sorry. I just... acted on impulse. I never should have run away, and certainly not in this weather."

"Luckily we were able to find you in time," he said in a low voice.

"Who is we?" I asked, frowning.

"Haley and Nathan were looking for you too," he explained and took a deep breath. "When I saw you lying there motionless, I thought that you were dead."

His face was distorted with pain, making me feel even worse.

"Promise me you'll never do that again! Not knowing where you were, whether you were alive or dead, almost killed me!"

He had come so close that I could feel his breath, and I put my hand around his neck and pulled him to me until our lips almost touched. "I promise," I whispered and then kissed him. "From now on, I will be a supportive wife. And I will help you to get to know your son better."

"I swear to you that this won't change anything between us. I love you, and only you! Did you think I still had feelings for Chelsea?" He asked astonished.

"Yeah, I thought so," I confessed hesitantly, trying to avoid his scrutinizing gaze. When he took my hands and turned me towards him, I looked up again.

"It was different than you might think," he began. "I just got involved with Chelsea because she reminded me so much of you. I had just returned from Tree Hill and learned that you were together with Lucas and had a terrible heartache. My dad suggested to accompany him to his set. And there I saw Chelsea the first time."

I listened to him with interest, but there was one thing I didn't understand. "How did you know that I was with Lucas?" I asked, frowning.

"Several months had passed since our last meeting," he confided to me. "And I still hadn't forgotten you. So I decided to return to Tree Hill to ask you for another chance."

"You were in Tree Hill?" I exclaimed in disbelief. "Why didn't you get in touch with me?" He paused, and I could see he wasn't sure what to say next.

"You seemed happy with Lucas," he said, shrugging.

I shook my head. "I wasn't happy with him. I just needed a friend, and he was there," I clarified. "Lucas was in love with Peyton. I knew that, but I didn't want to be alone either." I looked at him with an earnest expression. "I dated him for purely selfish reasons. And Lucas allowed it."

"You mean if I had contacted you back then we would have had a chance?"

I nodded, suddenly noticing tears in my eyes. All that wasted time! We could have been happy much sooner.

"I'm truly sorry, Brooke! If I had known before, I would have fought for you."

"We can't change the past." I forced myself to smile. "Now you're here, and I hope you'll never leave me again."

"Never again," he promised, leaning over and gently wiping the tears from my cheeks.

"I love you," I said softly. He smiled in response and gently raised my chin and kissed me.

"We should notify Haley and Nathan," he suggested after a while. "They're waiting in the waiting area. I should go and tell them that you're awake now."

I nodded. "Yes, go and tell them. I owe them my life as much as I owe you."

"I'll be right back. Don't go away." He grinned at me, gave me a quick kiss again and then left the room to go to Haley and Nathan.


	18. Chapter 18

**Brooke's POV**

Fortunately, I only had to stay in the hospital for 24 hours. After I had 'warmed up' again and had a stable circulation, they released me. The ankle was sprained, but this didn't prevent me from going back to work. I wanted to accomplish a particular plan, so I left the set and went to Chelsea's trailer during the break and knocked on the door. I needed to talk to her, something that Julian hadn't done until today. But it was about Justin's well-being and an earnest conversation was long overdue.

"Hi, Brooke! Come on in."

Chelsea wore only a bathrobe and held a cup of coffee in her hand as she let me in and then went to her small kitchenette.

"Do you want coffee, too?"

I shook my head. "No, thanks. Do you have a moment?" I asked hesitantly.

"Of course. Let's sit down." She gestured to a seating group. "Is it about the costumes for the next scenes?" She asked curiously, sipping on the cup.

I felt my heart beating faster with nervousness. It wasn't so easy as I had thought to bring the subject to Julian. But now I was here and would go through with it. "It's not about the costumes," I said haltingly. "It's about something private."

"O-kay." She frowned in confusion. "What is it about?"

I took a deep breath. "I think I'd like some coffee now," I said hastily.

She got up, went to the coffee machine and poured coffee into another cup, which she handed to me.

"Let me guess... It's about Julian, isn't it?"

I quickly took a sip and then put the cup in front of me. "Yeah, it's about Julian," I confessed.

"Okay, before you draw the wrong conclusions," she began, looking at me with a serious expression. "I need to tell you something. I know the two of you are married, and I never would destroy a marriage."

"But you still love him," I blurted out without thinking. The look she gave me then, a mix of confusion and astonishment, wasn't played.

"No, why do you think that?"

I took my cup again and noticed that my hand was slightly shaking. "You have a son together," I said after taking another sip. "That connects you somehow."

"Are you talking about Justin?" She asked in disbelief. "Brooke, you really think that...?" She stopped and then shook her head. "Justin is not Julian's son," she finished the sentence.

"He isn't?" For a moment, I just stared at her in confusion. "But... I thought, you and him..." I broke off my stuttering because she suddenly smiled.

"Now I know why Julian's behavior towards me is so strange. He also seems to believe that Justin is his son."

I nodded uneasily. "Yes, he told me two days ago. I thought the two of you had talked about it before."

"What a mess!" She groaned softly. "The fact is that I fell head over heels in love with Julian when we met on set 5 years ago. But I was more interested in him than he was in me. And it was over quickly." She brushed back a long strand of hair and sighed. "Not for me, though. I absolutely wanted to get him back and did everything to seduce him. But he kept me at bay. And out of defiance and injured pride, I started an affair with the camera operator. Tom looked a lot like Julian. He was just as tall, had the same curly brown hair and dark eyes. When I was with him, I imagined he was Julian." She laughed bitterly. "I figured if Julian could do that, then I could do it too. I knew he still loved 'Brooke', the woman he never had forgotten. And I also knew that he only wanted to sleep with me because I reminded him of you. But my tactics didn't work. For Tom, I was just a sex affair, and when he found out I was pregnant, he gave me money for an abortion. But I'm not a murderer. I decided to keep my baby and raise it by myself."

I looked at her shocked. What a heartbreaking story! "Did Justin know about his father?"

She shook her head. "No. I wrote him that he had a son after Justin was born, but he never answered to my message. And I'm glad because Tom would never have acknowledged his son anyway." She shrugged. "I wished Julian was his father. Then many things would have been different in my life and also in Justin's. But he isn't."

"You need to talk to Julian," I said softly. "He believes he is the father. And to be honest, I would have liked the idea too."

"You wish he had a child with another woman?" She asked in disbelief.

"I wish he could be a father," I confessed, then looked at her sadly. "I can't have children, Chelsea."

"Oh, Brooke, I'm so sorry!"

She grabbed my hand and squeezed it and I felt my eyes filling with tears. "I've known it for a few years, but Julian just found out. And although he acts as if he doesn't care, I know that he would like nothing more than to become a father."

"Have you thought about adoption yet? There are so many children without parents."

I shook my head. "Not yet. But maybe we should think about it. At the moment, though, we both have a lot of work with the shooting of the movie."

"That doesn't run away." She smiled. "But you shouldn't give up. I saw you with Justin. You have good instincts, Brooke. That's what you need to be a good mother."

I finished my coffee and then got up. "I have to go. Your break is over now anyway."

Chelsea looked at the clock. "Oh yes, you're right. I should go change for the next scene."

I was already at the door when I turned back to her. "Thanks for being so honest with me," I said, smiling. "Justin is lucky that he has a mother like you." I opened the door and left the trailer to get back to my work.

 ** **Brooke's POV****

 **On the set**

 **A few weeks later**

I was preparing the costumes for the shooting day for the actors, when Chelsea rushed into my dressing room with Justin at her side. I realized immediately that something must have happened, because normally she didn't bring her son to the set. Seeing her tormented expression made it clear that she was in a hurry. And as she approached me, I even noticed tears in her eyes. "Did something happen?" I asked worriedly.

She wiped her eyes and then put the bag down that hung over her shoulder. "My mom called," she said in a low voice. "My dad had a heart attack and is in a hospital. She says the doctors don't know if he's going to make it."

I spontaneously put my arms around her. Since our talk, we had become friends. For Julian, it had been a shock at first when he had learned that Justin wasn't his son. But he had quickly come to terms with it and saw himself now as Justin's 'Uncle', especially since the little boy also called me 'Aunt Brooke '.

"I have to go to L.A.," Chelsea said, interrupting my thoughts. "A friend of mine offered to fly me with his Cessna." She looked at the clock. "The only problem is that I have to leave immediately."

"You have two scenes to play for today," I said, giving her a thoughtful look. "But maybe we can just reschedule it. Did you talk to Julian?"

She shook her head. "Could you do that for me? And I have another request too…" She pointed to Justin. "Could he stay with you? Only for today and overnight? I've packed everything in this bag for him: toys, clothes, his toothbrush and his stuffed animal."

She looked pleadingly at me with her brown eyes, and I relented. "Of course he can stay with us." I tried to smile. "Your father's health should be your first priority now."

"I'll get in touch as soon as I arrive in L.A.," she promised. She bent down to her son and gave him a kiss. "Be a good boy as long as I'm gone, Justin. Aunt Brooke and Uncle Julian take care of you. That will be fun. They have a lot of space in their house where you can play."

I could see how hard it was for her to say goodbye to her son, because when she straightened up again, tears gleamed in her eyes. "I take good care of him," I promised and hugged her once more. "Call me!" I shouted after her and then watched her with mixed feelings as she left in a hurry.

"Where is Mommy going?"

I looked down at Justin. "Didn't she tell you where she's going?" I asked in surprise.

He shook his head. And I wondered why she hadn't told her 4-year-old son that his grandfather was sick. But maybe he didn't even know that he had a grandpa and grandma in L.A., it crossed my mind. Chelsea had been living a very private life with Justin for years. As if she had wanted to forget everything about her past. Chelsea's parents probably also didn't know that their daughter had a son.

"Aunt Brooke?"

I crouched in front of Justin. "Someone who is very important to your mommy got sick," I said. "She flew to Los Angeles to visit him."

"And can I stay with you?"

I smiled and ruffled his curls. "You can stay with Uncle Julian and me, all day and even all night. What do you think of that?"

He nodded enthusiastically. "Cool!"

I had to laugh. With how little you could make a 4-year-old happy. But before I could take Justin home, I had to inform Julian. I waited for the next break and then went to him. From a distance, he frowned at me as he noticed Justin by my side.

"Where's Chelsea? She's in the next scene," he said in a businesslike tone.

"Her mother called earlier. Her father had a heart attack and is in a hospital," I told him. "She flew to L.A. to be with her family. And she asked me to take care of Justin in the meantime," I added quickly as he raised his eyebrows skeptically.

"That means you're finishing your work here and take him to our place?" He asked.

I nodded. "I've finished arranging the costumes for the next scenes. You just have to take them and assign them to the actors."

"Fine." He sighed. "We're simply shooting another scene without her then. We'll catch up with Chelsea later." He bent down to Justin and smiled at him. "Are you happy that you can stay with us?"

He nodded eagerly. "Do you have cookies?"

"As much as you want," I said and winked at him. The little boy was so cute. And he always spoke his mind.

"The two of you should go home now." Julian bent forward and kissed me. "I'm leaving work earlier today. We can order pizza later. What do you think?"

"Pizza is awesome!" Justin exclaimed, bouncing up and down like a rubber ball. "And chocolate chip cookies and ice cream for dessert."

I suppressed a laugh and noticed that Julian was smiling too. "And afterwards your tummy aches and you feel bad," I pointed out. "And when you're sick, your mommy is scolding me." As he pouted, I softened. "Well, let's start with the pizza and then we'll see."

"Hey, the little boy has already wrapped you around his finger," Julian whispered to me and grinned.

As Justin shoved his little hand into mine and gazed at me with his big brown eyes, I knew that he wanted to leave. "See you later," I said to my husband before leaving the set with the little boy.


	19. Chapter 19

****Note: I have an upload issue here for a few days. :( I can't add new chapters, just change these who I had already uploaded. Now I decided to change 'Chapter 19' to post a new chapter. You can find the content from Chapter 19 in Chapter 18 now. I know it's confusing, but until the problem isn't solved it's the only possibility to post new chapters. Thanks for your understanding!****

* * *

 ** **Julian's POV****

The phone call came in the middle of the night. I had given the bed to Brooke and Justin because the kid had nightmares and preferred to sleep with his 'Aunt Brooke' and I was tossing and turning on the couch, unable to find a comfortable position. When the phone rang, I got up quickly, answering the call.

"Julian Baker."

 _"Julian, this is Haley."_

"Haley?" I exclaimed in surprise, then looked at the clock; it was after midnight. Not the right time to make a friendly phone call. "Did something happen?" I asked alarmed.

 _"Haven't you watched the news yet?"_

I shook my head. "Brooke and I were busy. We have Justin here overnight because Chelsea had to fly to L.A. for personal reasons," I told her.

 _"That's why I'm calling..."_

The hesitation in her voice irritated me. "Why are you calling?" I asked. I heard how she cleared her throat before she finally spoke again.

 _"The Cessna, with which she and her friend were on the way, crashed in a forest near Los Angeles."_

"What are you saying?" I stammered as I felt my mouth going dry. "How is she? Is she hurt?" Silence again. "Haley, are you still there?"

 _"She's dead, Julian. They... they reported about it in the news hours ago. I wanted to call earlier, but I was out all day. I thought you already knew. I just called to hear how Brooke is doing. I know that she and Chelsea have been friends."_

"Dead?" I echoed, stunned, without really understanding the meaning.

 _"I'm so sorry that you have to find out this way."_

"W-what happened?" I stammered.

 _"They probably had some technical issues. The Cessna came down in a forest and burst. The parts were scattered everywhere. Chelsea and the pilot died on the crash site."_

I slumped back onto the couch, clutching the receiver tighter.

 _"Julian, please tell Brooke that I'll come by tomorrow. If she needs my help, I'm here for her."_

"She's sleeping," I stammered.

 _"Let her sleep. Don't tell her what happened until tomorrow."_

"Justin is with her," I added in a low voice.

 _"That's so horrible! The poor little boy! You have to tell him gently that his mom won't come back. Does he have relatives?"_

"I have no idea." I ran a shaky hand through my hair. "Brooke told me that Justin's dad had left her before the baby was born. And apparently, Chelsea's parents don't know that they have a grandson."

 _"Then the authorities will put him in an orphanage. Julian, you can't allow that! He should stay with you and Brooke!"_

Haley was right. Even if I wasn't sure what to do next, I knew one thing: I would never allow that they put Justin in an orphanage! "Thanks for letting me know," I said quietly. "I'll take care of everything tomorrow morning. Bye, Haley!" After we had finished the phone call, I went over to the bedroom and looked down at Brooke and Justin, who were sleeping peacefully and had no idea that their life would be changed forever. I would tell them tomorrow, I decided and went back to my couch, curling up in my blanket. It didn't take long until I drifted into a restless sleep.

 ** **Brooke's POV****

"Mommy is dead?"

Only with difficulty I could hold back tears when Justin stared at me with that blank, forlorn expression. He probably didn't even understand what that meant. I looked up at Julian and gave him a desperate look.

"Your mommy won't come back," he said calmly. "She's in heaven now."

I looked at him gratefully. Somehow I hadn't thought of the simplest explanation. However, I wasn't sure if a 4-year-old already understood the meaning of "being in heaven". I saw how Julian followed Justin's gaze as he looked up.

"Up there?" Justin pointed to the ceiling.

"Yes, but much higher up, above the house, in the clouds," Julian explained patiently. "She's an angel now."

I turned away from them that they wouldn't see me crying. I still couldn't grasp that Chelsea was dead and wouldn't come back. And the fate of her son was now in our hands.

"Can I go play now?"

I turned to Justin and wiped the tears from my face. "Yes," I said in a brittle voice. "Just go play." When he disappeared to the next room, I ran into the bathroom and let my tears run freely. Julian followed me and pulled me into his arms.

"I know how you feel right now, but pull yourself together in front of the boy," he said, kissing my forehead. "We have to be strong. He only has us now."

"If we really want to adopt him, then we need his father's permission," I said in a low voice.

Julian nodded. "I called my dad earlier. He even remembered the cameraman. His name was Tom Markham."

"Do you know where he lives?"

"No, but we can find out. 5 years ago he lived in L.A."

"Then let's fly to L.A.," I said with determination in my voice.

"Not so quick, Brooke," Julian slowed down. "We have to think about where Justin can stay in the meantime. We can't take him with us. We don't even know if Markham still lives there."

"I'll ask Haley," I spontaneously came up with the idea. "Jamie and Justin are the same age. Then he would have a playmate."

Julian nodded. "Yes, not a bad idea. I'll call my father to take care of the business. We have to stop filming anyway, until we find a new 'Brooke'."

"Maybe I can help out," I suggested, looking at him expectantly.

"You're not an actress, Brooke," Julian said, frowning doubtfully.

"I could at least try. Please, Julian! Chelsea would want you to finish the movie."

"Fine," he said, sighing. "But I have to ask our director and my father first what they think about that."

I took a washcloth and wiped the tears from my face. "Okay, then I'm going to call Haley and if she agrees, then I'll pack up some things. After that I will book two seats for us on the plane to L.A."

"You're really in a hurry," Julian said thoughtfully. "What if we don't find this Tom Markham or he has no interest in helping us?" He pointed out.

"He will help us even if I have to force him," I said determined. "Would you like to take some video footage of Justin?" I changed the subject, because an idea had crossed my mind.

"Yeah, sure." Julian looked at me, frowning. "What do you want with that?"

"Chelsea told me that Justin's dad has never met his son. I think we should change that." I followed Julian and saw him taking his camera.

"All right," he said, forcing a smile. "Then let's do a movie."


	20. Chapter 20

****Note: The problem with the upload of new chapters is fixed. :) Please, read 'Chapter 19' first, in case you haven't read it yet and then continue with 'Chapter 20'. Thanks.  
****

* * *

 ** **Julian's POV****

We flew to Los Angeles the following day, after Haley had agreed to take Justin in for a couple days. My father had promised to take care of the business in my absence. Everyone, cast and crew, had been shocked to learn of Chelsea's death. But everyone also had been understanding that we had to interrupt the shooting. The funeral would take place in one week, a simple urn burial directly at the cemetery, without a service. Chelsea didn't have many friends in Tree Hill, and those who lived in L.A. were too far away to travel all the way here. This included her father, who had recovered in the meantime, and her mother. Locating Tom Markham's whereabouts hadn't been difficult. He lived in Imperial Beach, a small town near the Mexican border. He had given up his job as a camera operator, turned his back on L.A. and opened a windsurfer shop in the area. Our way led us directly there and Brooke was very tense when we finally parked our rental car in a parking lot near the shop.

"Do you have the camera and your laptop?" She asked nervously as we walked on.

"Everything in here." I pointed to my backpack. "Relax," I said calmly.

"I can't relax," she said, taking a deep breath. "There's just too much at stake."

"I wonder what kind of a guy he is, giving up a well paid job to open a shop somewhere in no man's land." I looked around frowning. "There's nothing going on here."

"Not for people like you who don't care about sports," she said, smiling wryly. "Imperial Beach is well known as a surfers paradise. The beach is beautiful and the waves are gigantic."

I looked at her in surprise. "Have you been here before?"

"No, I've googled it," she admitted sheepishly. "I just wanted to know where we're going."

"Well, if this doesn't work out, then maybe we should think about going surfing," I suggested, grinning.

"We're not here for fun, Julian." She gave me a reprimanding look. "And besides, you better hope that this is going to work out, because I won't go until we have finished this."

The way she stretched her chin in a stubborn way made it clear to me that she would never give up. I pointed to the shop, which was right in front of us. "We're there."

"Okay." She took a deep breath and reached for my hand. "Then let's go inside."

The little shop was crammed with surfboards, clothes, and other accessories that leaned partially against the walls, but also hung on the ceiling or blocked one's way, I noticed as we entered. Brooke squeezed my hand and silently pointed to a tall, muscular man with dark brown, shoulder-length hair that was tied in a ponytail.

"That's him," She whispered to me.

I nodded. "Would definitely fit the description." I pulled her with me and then stood in front of the giant, who was as tall as me. "Tom Markham?" I asked, looking him straight into his dark brown eyes. He scrutinized me from top to bottom, then let his eyes wander to Brooke. I noticed a slight frown as he couldn't take his eyes off her. Apparently he thought Chelsea would stand in front of him. The resemblance was astonishing.

"Who wants to know?" He finally asked, leaning casually against the counter.

That was my keyword. I grabbed my backpack, pulled out the laptop and put it on the counter. It took only a few seconds for me to start it up and for the movie to run, that I had filmed the day before. "May I introduce...," I said solemnly. "This is Justin Cherney, 4 years old. And this is Brooke, my wife. I'm Julian Baker." I watched his reaction as I let the film run that showed Justin playing in the house with us and staring into the camera with wide eyes.

"Who... who is that?" Tom stammered, unable to take his eyes off the monitor.

"Your son," Brooke replied dryly and gazed at him with an ice-cold look.

"I... I don't have a son," he said confused and looked up. "I have no idea what you want from me."

I pulled out Justin's birth certificate, which we had received in L.A. and put it on the counter. "Here, it's written, under 'Father'," I said, pointing to the line. "If you're Tom Markham, it's your son." I saw him staring at the birth certificate and then his gaze went back to the monitor. And suddenly I realized that he apparently had no idea that he had a son. Brooke stepped next to me.

"You gave Chelsea money for an abortion," she reminded him. "But she decided to have the baby."

He looked at her and I could see how his face became pale under his suntan.

"I... I didn't know..." He ran a hand nervously through his hair. "Why didn't she tell me?"

I exchanged a quick look with Brooke.

"She told me she had sent you a message. But you never reported back to her," she said.

"I never got a message." He shook his head. "I swear that I didn't know that she had the baby."

As helpless as he looked, I even believed him. But that didn't make it easier to ask for a signature.

"Why are you here?" He asked.

"Justin's mother died in a plane crash," Brooke informed him. "There are no other relatives and you are Justin's biological father."

"Do I understand that right that you are here because you want me to take care of a toddler from now on?" He asked, frowning.

"No." Brooke shook her head. "We're here because we want permission from you to adopt Justin."

"Okay, that's a little bit too fast for me." He took a step back and raised his hands up defensively. "I have to digest that first and think about it."

"You have exactly 24 hours left. Then my husband and I will fly back to Tree Hill," Brooke said, crossing her arms in front of her chest.

"24 hours isn't much time to make a decision like that," he said.

I could almost feel that Brooke was about to lose her composure. I grabbed her arm. "Give him some time to think," I said softly. But she broke free and straightened up in front of Markham to her full height.

"I don't even know why you have to think about it," she said in a provocative tone. "You gave her money for an abortion. You didn't even want this child!" Her voice became shrill. "And now you want to tell me that you suddenly have discovered your fatherly feelings?" She stomped angrily with her foot. "You are such a hypocrite! What Justin needs are people who genuinely love him and not a guy who only takes him in out of obligation!"

"Brooke!" I grabbed her arm again but couldn't stop her.

She pulled a document and pen out of the bag and slammed it in front of Markham on the counter. "You simply have to sign that you relinquish your rights you have on Justin. We will take care of everything else, and you will never see us again."

I stared back and forth between Markham and Brooke and then realized that he wouldn't give in so easily.

"I'll have that checked by my lawyer," he said coldly, then pointed to the laptop. "Can I have a copy of it?"

I nodded. "I'll give you one."

Brooke had her arms crossed in front of her chest and paced angrily back and forth. "You won't get away with this!" She threatened. "You aren't capable of raising a child at all." She spread her arms. "Look around! This is no surrounding for a small child!"

"I only work here, I don't live here," he said coolly. "I own a beach house in the neighborhood. There's nothing more exciting for a kid than going to the beach and swimming every day."

I glanced quickly at Brooke and saw tears in her eyes. She also seemed to know when she had lost. And Tom Markham stuck stubbornly to what he believed was his 'possession'. I put my arm around Brooke's waist. "Let's go," I said softly to her. But she didn't want to relent.

"I hate you!" She yelled at him. "I wish you had died in a plane crash instead of Chelsea, who was a wonderful mother!"

When her voice broke and she began to sob helplessly, I took her in my arms and pulled her to my chest. "We'll be back," I said to Markham and gave him my business card. "Call me!" I said before taking Brooke's hand and leaving with her.

"He can't do that," she sobbed desperately as we sat in the car again. "He can't take Justin away from us!"

I wasn't a lawyer, so I knew too little about the rights of a biological father. But right now we couldn't do more. "We're going back to the hotel," I said, giving her a kiss on the cheek. "And then we'll consult a lawyer who is well informed about adoption law." I started the engine and made my way to the hotel.


	21. Chapter 21

**Julian's POV**

 **Law Firm, Los Angeles**

 **The next day**

"Does that mean we have no chance?"

"If the birth father doesn't agree, then it looks bad."

I looked at Brooke, seeing how disappointed she was about this news. Immediately after our return to L.A., we had visited a lawyer to help us with our adoption application. But the message he gave us now was devastating.

"That means the adoption agency would simply give a toddler into care of a person without checking if he fits, just because he's the biological father?" She asked incredulously.

"Of course not." The lawyer shook his head. "There are very strict conditions. The agency is checking whether someone is suitable or if the right environment is available."

"What exactly are they checking?" I asked.

"Well, first they check if a person is morally capable of raising a child. Then someone pays a visit in the house to look at the environment where the child will live in the future. And finally, they look at the person's background, if perhaps grandparents exist or other relatives of the father. And of course they also look at the finances. Children cost money." He pulled a sheet of paper out of his drawer. "Everything on this list is what is being tested to meet the requirements for obtaining legal custody."

"If I understand this correctly," I cut in," then we would have to undergo this check too?"

The lawyer nodded. "The same applies to the people who want to adopt the child."

"We have a lot of space in our house," Brooke chimed in. "Justin has his own playroom. And we have friends who have a son at Justin's age. By the way, he is there at the moment." She pointed to me. "And as for the financial part... My husband is a film producer. He lived in Hollywood for a while and made films before going to Tree Hill. And I'm a fashion designer and even own my own store."

The lawyer smiled nervously. "That's all very well and I don't doubt that you would be good parents, but the fact remains that the biological father first must give the consent to initiate the adoption process."

"Do you think it would help if we went back to see and talk to him?" I asked.

"Maybe." The lawyer shrugged. "You should take this with you then." He handed the list to us. "Then he learns what is needed to claim custody. I also give you my business card. No matter how he will decide, he should contact me."

We said goodbye and left the office. Brooke fidgeted nervously beside me and I knew what she wanted. "You want us to drive to him straight away, right?"

She nodded. "The faster we do this, the better. Before we left earlier, I had called Haley. Justin is fine, but he misses us."

"Yeah," I said with a sigh. "I miss him, too."

"See, that's why we should hurry."

I grabbed her arm. "You know that it could be that he doesn't give in, right?" I asked, giving her a serious look.

"I'm ready to fight for Justin," she said, lifting her chin determinedly. "If necessary, also in court. Chelsea wouldn't have wanted her son to be raised by this... primeval guy." She rolled her eyes.

I had to laugh. "Primeval? Well, I hope you won't hit me now, but I really think he didn't know he had a son. And if he had known before, he probably would have wanted to care for him."

"You definitely deserve to be hit for this comment!" She said outraged. "I can't believe you're stabbing me in the back, Julian! I thought you also wanted to adopt the boy."

"Of course I want to adopt him," I defended myself. "But I can understand his side as well."

"Sometimes you're too soft, Julian Baker," she said, rolling her eyes. "I can't understand why you feel sorry for him after what he did to Chelsea."

"I just have a strong sense of justice," I said with a shrug. "Can't help it."

"Let's go," she sighed.

It took us almost three hours to get to Imperial Beach. The surfer shop was open and the owner was present as well, we noticed when we opened the door and entered the store.

"I haven't thought to see you again so quickly," Markham greeted us, frowning. "That wasn't 24 hours."

"We brought something for you." Brooke ignored his objection, took out the lawyer's sheet of paper and put it on the counter.

"What's that?" He asked confused.

"This is a list of the things you have to fulfill to receive custody for Justin," I explained patiently, waiting for him to read through the list.

"Somebody comes into my house and snoops around?" He asked incredulously.

"That's the usual procedure," Brooke said, glaring at him. "Is that a problem for you? Do you have something to hide?"

"I don't live there alone." He raised his eyebrows meaningfully. "If you understand what I mean?"

"You live there with your wife or girlfriend?" I guessed.

"Not quite the term I would use." He grinned sheepishly.

"You have changing acquaintances?" I asked dryly, receiving a horrified glance from Brooke.

"You could say that." He laughed and run with his hand through his shoulder-length hair, which he wore loose this time. "Sometimes the women line up in front of my house," he said proudly.

"Oh my God!"

I glanced quickly at Brooke, who had turned pale. "Are you implying that you use your beach house to seduce women?"

"Is that forbidden?" He frowned. "I'm in the prime of life. Why should I just waste my energy on only one woman?"

"That's... gross!"

I could only agree with Brooke. We couldn't allow that Justin would grow up in an environment like that!

"I would say it's completely natural," he said casually. "Not everyone is born to marry."

"And I suppose your 'girlfriends' wouldn't be happy if a toddler would barge in during your sexual intercourse," I said dryly.

Markham frowned. "No idea. I didn't ask them. Is that important?"

I closed my eyes and tried to control myself, not to punch the guy in his face. "Yes," I said as calm as possible. "It is important." Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Brooke suddenly putting her hand over her mouth and running outside. I handed Markham the lawyer's business card. "Go through the list and then call the lawyer," I said hastily before leaving the store as well. Brooke was standing behind a rock, her back to me and I could tell by the rise and fall of her shoulders that she was vomiting. I waited for her to finish and then gently put my arms around her. "Are you okay?" I asked worriedly and stroked a strand of hair from her pale face.

"I had to get out of there," she said in a stifled voice, tears running down her cheeks. "Otherwise I would have puked right in front of his feet." She looked up at me. "I can't believe anyone would ever consider to grant custody to a pervert like him!"

"No, me neither," I agreed. "We should go back and tell the lawyer what we have learned," I suggested.

"I want this nightmare to end!"

As her tears began to flow again, I pulled her tighter into my arms. "It's going to be okay," I promised and kissed her forehead. "I promise you that I will do anything to prevent that he gets custody for Justin!"

Gratefully, Brooke looked up at me. "I love you for that, Julian Baker." She stood on tiptoe and kissed my cheek. "Let's drive. I desperately need a toothbrush to get this disgusting taste out of my mouth."

I smiled at her before we went to the car and then headed back to L.A..


	22. Chapter 22

**Julian's POV**

 **Julian's Office, Tree Hill**

A week had passed since we returned from L.A. We had visited the lawyer again, who had told us that Markham had gotten in touch with him and had consented to the custody process. Inconceivable for Brooke and me he actually had applied to get custody of Justin. A devastating information for both of us, though Brooke had suffered even more. She'd broken down crying in the law firm and her fragile state hadn't improved since then. She slept badly, ate little and suffered from nausea. I was starting to really worry about her health. In the presence of Justin, she tried not to show her sorrow. She laughed and played with him and often went to Haley in the afternoon so the boys could play together.

"You get wrinkles early if you continue to frown."

I looked up and wiped my eyes. "Hi, Dad. What's up?" I asked indifferently.

"I've been thinking of how to save the movie," he said, sitting down on a chair.

"Do you have an idea?"

"What would you think if we were going to alter it in a series?" He asked. "The book is so complex that you could easily make a multi-parter of it. And TV series are very popular these days."

I frowned at him. What he just suggested had also crossed my mind before we started shooting the movie. "Sounds interesting," I agreed.

"We could start from scratch and also cast new actors for the roles." He gestured with his hands. "We can ask those we already have under contract, if they would be willing to play in a series. We would have to renew the contracts. But if we could find a new 'Brooke' it would save us a lot of trouble."

"Yes, I know." I sighed and brushed a strand of hair from my forehead. "Today is Chelsea's funeral," I said in a low voice.

"How is Brooke?"

I looked at him in surprise. It was the first time he asked for her. She hadn't really been his first choice of a daughter-in-law, but gradually he seemed to have accepted that we were married.

"I saw her the other day. She looked awful." He frowned. "She worries about the little boy, doesn't she?"

I nodded. "I have never seen her like this before. She walks around like a zombie."

"Your mother wants to move to Tree Hill," he suddenly changed the subject.

I jerked my head and stared at him bewildered. "What?"

"I told her about your situation and now she wants to come to Tree Hill to support you," he said, smiling wryly. "She called me earlier that she's already on her way here. I'll pick her up later from the airport."

"What has gotten into you to tell her about it?" I gasped. "Brooke and Mom under one roof that's like... pouring oil into a fire!"

"Don't overreact, Julian." He frowned.

"I'm not overreacting. You don't know how bad Mom had treated Brooke back then. She called her a slut." I rolled my eyes. "Mom hates Brooke. And in Brooke's fragile state, I won't let her near her."

"Your mother is coming to help, not to insult your wife," he said. "Besides, that happened years ago. After her withdrawal treatment and months in the clinic for drug addicts, your mother has become a new person. Just give her a chance. "

"'Where will she live?" I asked warily.

"I thought she could live with you and Brooke. The house is big enough."

"With us?" I looked at my father dumbfounded. "You're not serious, are you? I haven't even talked with Brooke about it. That's still her house. I can't just let someone live in her house without her permission."

"You are married. The two of you share everything that both of you have." He shrugged. "What's mine is yours, too. Or something like that. Or didn't they recite that sentence during your rash wedding in Las Vegas?" He asked mockingly.

My hands involuntarily clenched into fists, while I struggled for control. "Out!" I yelled at my father.

"Julian..."

"No. I don't want to hear anything anymore! And tell Mom, if you pick her up from the airport, that she should take a room in a hotel." I jumped up quickly. "And now excuse me. I have to go to a funeral."

 **Brooke's POV**

 **Haley's house**

"Okay, Justin," I explained patiently as I looked down at him. "You're staying with Haley and Jamie today. You like that, don't you?" When he nodded, I felt tears in my eyes. Today was the funeral of his mommy. And I had thought about whether or not we should take him with us. But finally, Julian and I had come to the decision that it was best to leave him at Haley's. The funeral would be too overwhelming for him, and he was too young to understand that the mortal remains of his mommy had been burned and then buried deep in the ground. Especially, since we already had told him that his mommy was an angel now, living in heaven. I took a deep breath before finally knocking on Haley's door.

"Hey, Brooke! Hello, Justin! Do you want to go to Jamie right now? He is already waiting for you."

Haley opened the door to let us in, when an awful smell reached me that made me instantly sick. "Ugh, that smells terrible! What's that?" I blurted and covered my nose.

"I baked cookies."

"Cookies?" I stammered, carefully taking my hand away. But the bad smell stayed. I noticed that Haley was frowning at me.

"Brooke, are you alright? You are white as a sheet."

I was about to say that I was fine when a gush of nausea came over me that made my knees tremble. I pressed my hand over my mouth and ran to the bathroom. After I had thrown up my breakfast completely and was just wiping my mouth with a cloth, I noticed Haley standing in the doorway. In the hurry I had totally forgotten to lock up.

"How long has this been going on?" She asked, coming closer.

"What do you mean?" I asked puzzled.

"The nausea, the dislike of certain smells?" She listed.

I thought about it for a moment. "About a week." I rubbed my stomach. "You know that I suffer from stomach problems when I'm under stress. Even as a teenager, I had problems with it."

"Yeah, I can remember exactly when that had been," she said dryly.

The look she gave me made me nervous. "Seriously? I can't remember." But the moment I said it, I knew it was a lie. I suddenly remembered the last time I had reacted so badly to smells. But Haley was quicker.

"You're pregnant, Brooke!"

"No," I stammered faintly. "That... that's impossible."

"When was the last time you had your menstruation?"

I looked at her as if I had just awakened from a dream. "I have no idea. The last few weeks have been very stressful. I have always had my cycle irregular. Besides, I always took the pill on a regular basis."

"All that may be so," Haley said, frowning. "But the symptoms are unmistakable. You couldn't stand the smell of my cookies neither at that time. This has something to do with the hormones." She opened the bathroom cabinet, rummaged in it, and then brought out a pregnancy test.

I stared in horror at her, then at the test. "Not now," I stammered. "I have to go to a funeral."

"Then hurry up." She held the test under my nose.

I took it and noticed how my hand was shaking. "Why do you have such a test in your cabinet anyway?" I looked at her questioningly.

She rolled her eyes. "A few months ago, I thought I was pregnant again. But it was a false alarm. I bought a dozen of them. Three or four are left. So if this one doesn't show a clear result, then there are more."

"It's a relief to know that," I said wryly, then took a deep breath. "I really don't want to do that right now," I said, looking at Haley with a pained expression. "What if it turns out that I'm really pregnant? What should I say to Julian then? He believes that I can't have children."

"He knows you can get pregnant, right? I mean, getting pregnant or keeping it are two different things."

I lowered my head. "I... I haven't told him yet," I confessed embarrassed.

"Brooke!"

"I thought it wouldn't be necessary to tell him, Hales," I said desperately. "He just had to know that I can't have children."

"Which is technically incorrect." Haley rolled her eyes. "You see what happens when you lie."

I looked at the clock. "I really don't have time anymore," I said, handing her the test back and then leaving the bathroom.

"Brooke, wait!"

She ran after me and caught me at the front door.

"Take this with you. I don't need it anyway. And you should do the test soon, that you can be sure and think about what to do next if you're pregnant."

Hesitating, I took the test and put it in my purse. "Okay," I said in a slightly trembling voice.

"And no matter what the result will be. I'm here for you." She hugged me one more time and then opened the door to let me go.


	23. Chapter 23

**Brooke's POV**

 **At the cemetery**

The pregnancy test was like a ticking time bomb in my purse, and I could barely focus on what the pastor said at the grave. I was really relieved when it was all over and Chelsea's urn was buried in the ground. As expected, no one from L.A. had attended the funeral, so it was just a small group of mourners. I stepped nervously from one foot to the other and wished for a rest room, where I finally could do this damn test! But what if it was positive? Would this baby even have a chance, or would it die like my star child? Suddenly I heard the words of the doctor in my mind when he had told me that any further pregnancy would end in a miscarriage as well. I leaned against Julian and closed my eyes. My God, why haven't I taken precautions more thoroughly?

"Brooke? Everything okay?"

I opened my eyes and saw how worried Julian looked at me. "Yes," I lied. "I'm fine. Can we go home now?"

"Shouldn't we drive past Haley and Nathan to pick up Justin?" He asked.

"No, let him play with Jamie a little longer," I said quickly, adding in my mind; 'Until I did my test and we talked about it.'

"Fine with me. Then let's drive home now."

I was a nervous wreck when we finally entered the house. I took off my jacket, slipped out of my high-heeled pumps and went to the bathroom. If Julian found my behavior odd, at least he didn't say anything and didn't try to stop me. With trembling hands, I took the test out of the packaging and then read through the leaflet. It was one of those modern pregnancy tests that used words to show the result. And as if that hadn't been enough, you could also read the week number, how long you've been pregnant. The test was done quickly, and when I finally read the result after a few minutes, the word 'pregnant' literally 'jumped' at me. I closed my eyes and shook my head. That was impossible! I couldn't be pregnant! Apparently, I was further than I thought, because the number 3+ was written below. My heart suddenly began to race and I felt sick. I lost my baby in the 12th week of pregnancy. How far along was I now? How much time was left until I would lose this baby, too?

"Brooke? Are you okay in there?"

I took the test, wiped it clean and slipped it into my pant pocket. "Yes," I called hoarsely. "I'm okay. I just need a few more minutes." What a good liar I was. I wanted to hide in there forever, but I also knew that I couldn't do that. I had to talk to Julian. I pushed the latch back and went with weak knees into the kitchen. He was about to prepare the lunch.

"I thought I'd start fixing the meal," he said, smiling.

I felt a queasy feeling in my stomach. "Julian, I... can we talk for a minute?" I managed with difficulty.

He immediately stopped and frowned. "Sure, what's up?"

I took his hand and led him to the sofa, where we both sat down. "Do you remember when I told you that I can't have children?" I asked softly and looked at him.

"Um... yes, of course." He frowned in confusion. "Do you think I would have forgotten that?"

"No." I hastily lowered my head. "I didn't tell you everything," I admitted quietly.

"What does this mean?"

"Back then, in the hospital, after the miscarriage...", I began hesitantly, "the doctor told me that I have a uterine anomaly." I raised my head and looked at him. "He told me that I could become pregnant but that I wouldn't be able to carry the baby. Any other pregnancies would end in a miscarriage, too."

"Why are you telling me this now?" He asked, warily.

I quickly turned my head aside as I noticed tears forming in my eyes.

"Look at me, Brooke!"

He reached under my chin and forced me to look at him. And then I saw in his eyes that he had guessed the truth.

"You... you... are... pregnant?!" he stammered, looking at me shocked.

I nodded, tears running down my cheeks. Slowly, I pulled the pregnancy test from my pant pocket and put it on the table, visible to him. "I'm so sorry, Julian! I didn't want this to happen," I sobbed.

"We're going to another doctor to get a second opinion. There must be something they can do," he said after a brief second of shock. "The medicine is already 5 years further."

I saw despair in his eyes, but also determination to fight fate this time. As he put his arms around me, I leaned against him and closed my eyes. I wanted to believe so much that there was a way to save this baby. But I also knew that the chances were very slim. Even though the medicine was progressed, miscarriages still happened. Not everything could be healed or averted.

"I won't allow it that you lose this baby, too," he said firmly.

I smiled involuntarily. It was good not to have to fight alone this time. This wasn't only my baby, it was Julian's as well. And I knew he would do everything in his power to save it.

"Have you been to the doctor?" He asked.

I shook my head. "No, I just did the test. But it looks like I've been already pregnant for a while now."

He jumped up from the sofa, pacing nervously back and forth. "Call your gynecologist and make an appointment," he asked.

"What, right now?" I looked at him in confusion. "We just got back from Chelsea's funeral. And later we have to pick up Justin."

"We should get clarity as soon as possible, don't you think?"

I had to agree with him, but the events of the day had strained me. I was bone-tired and longed for a nap. "I can call and try to make an appointment for tomorrow or the day after tomorrow. Is that okay?"

He pulled me up from the sofa and hugged me. "If you have the appointment, let me know. I will cancel all of my appointments and accompany you."

Although I didn't want to, I involuntarily started to feel happy about the tiny baby that was growing inside me. I wrapped my arms around Julian's waist and leaned my head against his chest. "We're having a baby," I whispered, silently praying that my wish would come true this time.


	24. Chapter 24

**Julian's POV**

 **Julian's office**

 **One day later**

Only with difficulty I had dragged myself to work this time. But there were decisions to make on how to proceed with the film project. If we wanted to do a TV series from the book, then the script had to be completely rewritten. Something that would take a lot of time and would also require creativity and inventiveness. But right now, my mind was completely occupied with other things, mainly about Brooke's pregnancy and the question what we could do to save our baby this time. What happened 5 years ago couldn't happen again. For the afternoon, we had an appointment with Brooke's gynecologist, and I looked forward to it with an anxious feeling. When the door opened, I looked up. "Hi Mom! What are you doing here?"

"What's that of a greeting?" She frowned. "Don't you want to hug me?"

Slowly I got up and walked around my desk and hugged her briefly. "So, once again...What are you doing here?" I asked her again.

"Haven't your father told you that I was coming to Tree Hill?" She asked irritated.

"Yes, he told me," I said, trying not to show that her presence rather disturbed than pleased me.

"Actually, I wanted to go straight to your house, but your dad said it would be better if I go to your office first." She laughed mockingly. "That's ridiculous! As if I were some acquaintance of yours and not your mother." She looked down at her perfectly painted fingernails. "Brooke surely won't mind if I live at her place for a few days."

It was not a question but a statement, and I wondered how I could gently tell her that it wasn't the right time for a visit. But she didn't even let me finish speaking.

"When I had learned about the little boy and your plans to adopt him, I wanted to go to Tree Hill right away. You can rest assured that I will support you and Brooke in everything," she said determined. "The poor girl! I can imagine what she is going through right now. "

"Since when are you such a Brooke fan?" I blurted out without thinking and got an indignant look from her.

"What do you mean by that?" She asked, raising her eyebrows. "Didn't I accept her as a daughter-in-law when you came to us and told us about your rash wedding? Believe me, Julian, every other mother would have reacted quite differently. Especially since I've known her from before and knew what kind of lifestyle she had lived."

My patience was at an end. I clenched my fist and hit it with force on the desk, causing her to flinch. "Oh shut up!" I snapped. "Don't pretend that you did me a favor with accepting Brooke as my wife! And I don't believe a word that you feel pity for her. You don't even know what that word means!" I knew I was doing her wrong, but it was still that I just saw red when she talked bad about my wife. I had gotten so angry that I started to tremble. And when I noticed tears in my eyes I turned away from her.

"Julian..."

When she placed her hand on my shoulder, I couldn't hold back tears any longer. I knew it had nothing to do with my mother, but with Brooke's and our current situation. But she couldn't know about it, and of course she was referring it to herself.

"I'm sorry!" She said in a low voice. "I didn't know that I'm so unwelcome here. I'll just pack my things and leave."

As she turned to go, I reached for her arm. "Mom, wait!" I wiped my eyes and looked at her with a serious expression. It was time she learned the truth. "It has nothing to do with you," I said reluctantly. "Yesterday, Brooke found out that she's pregnant, and..." I couldn't finish my sentence when my mother let out a yell and hugged me.

"Oh Julian! That's wonderful news! No wonder you're so confused, "she said excitedly.

She hugged me tighter, and I felt even worse. Carefully I freed myself from her embrace. "No, it's not wonderful news," I said in a low voice. "Brooke had been pregnant before and had suffered a miscarriage. And there is a high possibility that she will lose this baby now as well." I could tell that my words had really shocked her, because she was staring at me with wide eyes.

"Brooke had been pregnant before?" She stammered, then looked up at me. "When had that been?"

From her expression, I could tell she had guessed the truth.

"5 years ago," I confirmed her suspicions.

When she looked at me, I could see in her eyes what she was feeling right now: Shock, guilt and compassion. She knew now that my first time with Brooke hadn't been without consequences, and she sensed it was her fault that we had been separated at that time. "We'll have an appointment with her gynecologist later," I went on quickly. "Then maybe we'll learn more." I raised my head and looked at her desperately. "She can't lose this baby! She won't be able to cope with another miscarriage... and me neither," I added.

"Julian, I'm so sorry! It must be terrible to live with this uncertainty. Can I do anything to help?"

I shook my head slowly. "Not right now. But do you understand now, why your visit is just a bit inconvenient at the moment?"

"Of course, I understand it. But please, don't send me away, Julian! I don't want to leave you and Brooke alone. I'm staying in the hotel and you can call me anytime if you need my help, if that's okay for you?"

Instead of giving her an answer, I simply put my arms around her. And as she hugged me and stroked my hair, I felt like the little boy again she'd often consoled before she had succumbed to alcohol.

"It's going to be okay," she muttered softly.

I needed to be strong for Brooke, but I knew I could show weakness towards my mother. It wasn't the first time she saw me crying. And so I put my head on her shoulder and cried.

 **Brooke's POV**

 **Brooke's house**

Restless and anxious and with a pounding heart, I sat on the sofa, waiting for my belly to cramp and then watching the blood trickling down my legs as it had happened when I had suffered the miscarriage. Since I knew I was pregnant, I hardly dared to move, afraid to lose this baby as well. Julian had gone to work, and although I had assured him that I was fine, I wished that he was with me now. I looked at the clock. There were still hours until the appointment with my doctor, and I knew that I couldn't sit on the sofa all the time. Carefully, I got up and walked to the phone, with my arms around my belly, to call Haley. Luckily she answered after the first ring.

"Hi Brooke! Everything okay?"

She seemed to suspect why I was calling, and though I had intended to be brave, I suddenly burst into tears.

"Okay, don't move! I'm coming over."

She hung up so fast that I couldn't say anything anymore, but was just staring at the receiver in confusion. It took almost half an hour before she showed up. And again she had Peyton with her.

"Hey sweetie!" Peyton said in greeting and hugged me. "What happened?"

"You did the test, right?" Haley asked.

I nodded. "You were right," I sobbed. "I'm pregnant!"

"Congratulations?" Peyton said uncertainly.

"I assume you told Julian?" Haley asked, frowning.

I nodded. "Immediately after I had taken the test," I confirmed. "And now he also knows the reason why I had the miscarriage back then. I told him everything."

"What are you going to do now?" Peyton asked.

"I have an appointment with my gynecologist this afternoon. Julian believes they might be able to do something to prevent a miscarriage this time, because the medicine is five years further, "I said, looking at them seriously. "I hope so much that he's right."

"And how are you feeling now?" Haley asked worriedly.

"Now that I know I'm pregnant, I feel all the symptoms, too," I said, grimacing. "This morning I felt sick and my breasts hurt. And I'm so tired all the time, though I just got up. And this morning, for the first time, I ate a toast with chocolate cream and gherkins."

"Bah, that's disgusting!" Peyton wrinkled her nose. "I hope I won't eat something like that when I'm pregnant."

Haley laughed. "Everything is completely normal." She became serious again. "Are you calling us after your doctor's appointment?"

I nodded. "I'm glad you're here. I don't know when Julian will be back, but I can't stand being alone."

"It's understandable. This whole situation reminds you of when you had suffered the miscarriage," Haley said sympathetically. "You don't need to be afraid. We are here for you, if you need us."

Peyton nodded in confirmation. "One call, and we're on the spot right now."

"And don't worry about Justin. He can stay with us as long as he wants, "Haley said. "Jamie considers him as a little brother." She grinned. "He told him a bedtime story last night." She sighed softly. "The two are so cute together. It'll break his heart when Justin has to leave."

Justin! I had been so busy with myself that I completely had forgotten about him. "We'll pick him up later after the doctor's visit," I said hastily.

"No, that's okay. He can stay with us for a while. Like I said, Jamie is happy about his 'little brother'." Haley grinned. "And he's only a half year older than Justin."

I nodded and stifled a yawn. "Sorry," I mumbled, holding my hand quickly over my mouth. "I could sleep all the time."

"Then go to bed and sleep," Haley suggested. "Peyton and I stay here for a while, so you're not alone."

I got up and hugged both. "You are really the best friends that anyone could hope to have," I said, deeply touched. I smiled gratefully at the two of them, before I went into the bedroom and lay down on the bed. I had been awake all night brooding, but now I was so tired that it didn't take long to fall asleep.


	25. Chapter 25

**Julian's POV**

 **Gynecological practice**

It was like when my mother had tried to commit suicide and I had to wait outside in the waiting room until she was taken care of and I was allowed to see her. And I remembered again the feeling of helplessness and fear while I was saying prayers. Only this time it was Brooke and not my mother. But the feeling was exactly the same. Fear, helplessness, weakness, being unable to do anything for her. I would have liked to be by her side, but the doctor had made it clear that he had to do some examinations and tests first to make a more accurate diagnosis. When they finally led me into the examination room, I was completely exhausted and expected the worst. Immediately I looked at Brooke, and my heart sank as I saw tears in her eyes. Hesitantly, I walked to the examination chair where Brooke lay with her belly exposed, and sat down beside her.

"Julian..."

When she held out her hand to me, I grabbed it and noticed how clammy it was. So I wasn't the only one who was nervous, she was it too. I looked uncertainly at the doctor, who gave me an encouraging nod.

"We have completed the gynecological examinations," he explained and turned on the ultrasound device. "Now let's take a closer look at the baby."

I hadn't noticed that I had reflexively held my breath and now exhaled with relief. Tensely, I watched the doctor as he spread some gel on Brooke's belly and then placed the probe on it. I noticed Brooke's grip tightening around my hand.

"Well, that looks pretty good," said the doctor and looked at the monitor. "According to my calculations, and because the timing of conception isn't known, I would guess that you are around the 10th week of pregnancy," he informed Brooke. He switched on something on his device and then let the ultrasound probe rotate over her belly.

When you could hear the sound of a beating heart, I turned my head to Brooke and our eyes met. We both thought the same; that was the heartbeat of our baby. And it was alive. But when I turned my gaze back to the doctor and saw him staring at the monitor with a frown, I became increasingly nervous. "What is it, Doctor?" I asked, feeling my heart beating faster in fear.

"Just a minute..." He adjusted something on his device and put the ultrasound probe back on Brooke's belly. "Well, I thought I was wrong, but what I get here is clearly two heartbeats," he said with a smile.

I looked at Brooke, who looked at me wide-eyed. "Two heartbeats?" I echoed, and it took me a while to realize what the doctor had just revealed to us.

He nodded. "Usually you can't see at that early stage of pregnancy whether it's one baby or more. But in your case, it's obvious." He looked up and smiled again. "Congratulations! You're having twins."

I sat there stunned, only barely noticing that Brooke had started to sob. "Are... are you really sure, Doctor?" I stuttered.

"I've been doing this for many years, and yes, I'm sure. You're expecting twins."

I leaned down to Brooke to kiss her and suddenly felt her arms around my neck. "Hey, it's going to be okay," I said softly as I squeezed her tearful face against mine.

"I can imagine that this is a shock for you," said the doctor, clearing his throat. "Especially under these circumstances. But I can reassure you. There is a procedure that we have been using successfully for a long time to prevent premature births or even miscarriages. "

"You mean you can save our baby... I mean,... our babies this time?" I asked, looking at the doctor full of hope.

He nodded. "At least we can try. It may be easier if it would be just one baby, but we've used it on twins as well." He cleared his throat before continuing with his explanation. "The procedure is called 'Cerclage'. With a cord, the cervix will be sealed, so it can't come to an early birth or miscarriage. It used to be done under general anesthesia, but today they often use a PDA, spinal anesthesia. The procedure is gentler for both, mother and child and lasts no longer than 15-20 minutes. After the surgery, the mother has to stick strictly to bed rest. I have to emphasize this again, because for many women it isn't clear what it means to be unable to do anything for the time being. Not everyone is ready to stay in bed for several weeks or even months. And sometimes the life situation doesn't allow it either. Are you willing to make this sacrifice?"

I looked at Brooke and saw uncertainty and confusion in her eyes. She wouldn't be able to make such a serious decision now. But the way the doctor looked at us, it was clear that it was the only chance. I took a deep breath. "Yes, we're ready," I said in a slightly trembling voice as I avoided Brooke's gaze. I didn't know what to do next. I only knew that I wanted to do all that is humanly possible to save our babies.

The doctor nodded pleased and then turned to his patient. "Okay, then that's settled. I will call the hospital to make clear that you get hospitalized. There, the procedure will then be carried out in one to two days. Until then, you have time to prepare everything at home. As I said, strict bed rest is required. And you shouldn't be alone in case of complications." He smiled sympathetically. "I leave the two of you alone for a moment so you can calmly discuss everything again."

When the doctor had left, Brooke looked at me. "Bed rest?" She stammered. "For weeks and months?" She shook her head. "What about Justin? Who will take care of him? And what about my store?"

"We'll find a solution," I promised and took a cloth and wiped the gel from her stomach. "The only thing that matters is that our babies will be saved." Carefully, I placed my hand on her belly. "Our babies," I repeated and smiled. "Would you have thought that they are twins?" I looked at Brooke, who was strangely quiet.

"Julian... I... I can't do that...", she blurted out. "You heard what the doctor said. There must always be someone there. And this 'Cerclage' is no guarantee that we'll get two healthy babies."

"You don't even want to try it?" I asked, looking at her in disbelief.

"I... I'm scared," she confessed. "What if it still goes wrong?"

"It won't." I put her in my arms and held her tight. I didn't know where I suddenly got the feeling of safety. But I knew that I was serious about what I had said. "Do you trust me?" I asked, looking deep into her eyes.

"I trust you," she whispered softly.

When she reached for my hand, put it on her belly and then placed her hand over mine, I knew that we had just decided together on the fate of our twins. And I hoped my prognosis would come true and our babies would survive.


	26. Chapter 26

**Julian's POV**

 **In the hospital**

With a transfer form I had taken Brooke to the hospital, where she had been examined again and had assigned to her room. Because she had to stay in the hospital for a few days after the procedure, I had quickly driven home and had packed some of her things she needed during her stay there. I hadn't wanted to leave her alone for so long and then had gone straight back to her. The news that we were expecting twins had been just as shocking to her as it had been to me.

"Can you call Haley for me and tell her that Justin has to stay with her for a few more days?"

I nodded. "Yes, I'll call her. And then I'll tell her what the doctor told us, and that you still have to stay in the hospital."

"If that would be all there." She sighed softly and fumbled at her blanket. "Afterwards the stress will just begin. I really don't know how to handle everything if I have to stay put all the time!"

"I'll find someone to take care of you while I'm working," I promised, forcing a smile. She shouldn't think that I would leave her alone with all that. I would have to find a way to do a part of my work at home.

"I'm scared, Julian..."

I spontaneously hugged her when I saw her eyes fill with tears. "Everything will be fine this time," I promised, kissing her forehead. "If we do what the doctor told us, we will have two healthy babies in 7 months."

"7 months," Brooke muttered. "Do you know what it means to stay put for 7 months?"

No, of course I didn't know. But I also couldn't lose hope. Brooke needed my strength now, and suddenly an idea crossed my mind. "Do you think I can leave you alone for a while?" I asked.

"Sure." She frowned. "I know you can't stay all the time. And I think I'm in good hands here."

I kissed her one last time and walked to the door. "I just have to take care of something important. Then I'll come back," I promised and then left the hospital room. I went straight to the hotel where my mother was staying. When I entered her room she looked at me astonished.

"Julian! What a surprise, I wasn't expecting you. Didn't you have an appointment with Brooke at her gynecologist this afternoon?"

She looked at me with that questioning look and I took a deep breath. "We've been there," I said softly.

"Is everything all right with the baby?" She asked concerned.

"Babies," I corrected, forcing a smile. "Brooke and I are expecting twins."

"Oh my God! That's... Wow! I'm speechless!"

When she embraced me and hugged me, I had to smile. It was not often that my mother was lost for words. She was always the one who had the last word. "Hey, don't crush me!" I said with a grin and freed myself from her embrace.

"Sorry, but that's really incredible news. Does your father know?"

I shook my head. "No, I went straight to you to tell you. You are the first to know."

"How is Brooke?"

"Not so good," I admitted and then cleared my throat. "That's why I'm here. You said during our last conversation that you wanted to help us. Well, now I'm here to ask you for help."

"Of course. I'll do everything you want," she said eagerly.

"Brooke is in the hospital at the moment," I began hesitantly. "They are going to perform a procedure on her, called 'Cerclage'. This should prevent a premature birth. The only problem is that she is on strict bed rest the time afterwards." I paused and looked at my mother expectantly.

"Does that mean she has to lie in bed during her whole pregnancy?" She asked.

I nodded. "And the doctor said she shouldn't stay alone in case there were any complications."

A smile crossed her face. "You want me to move in with you, right?"

"You've always been able to see through me," I said, grinning. "You told Dad that you went to Tree Hill to help Brooke and me with Justin. Well, if it works out with the adoption, could you take care of him, too?"

"You still want to adopt the boy despite the fact that Brooke and you have your own children soon?" She asked in surprise. "Do you have any idea what it means to raise three children?" She rolled her eyes. "I've had enough to take care of one."

I ignored her demur. "That fact that Brooke and I are having twins has nothing to do with Justin," I said with determination. "But nothing is decided yet... Markham, Justin's birth father, won't give us the boy without a fight. And that's the last thing Brooke can endure right now."

"Of course, I'll help you." She smiled. "You are my son and the most important thing in this world for me."

"Thanks, Mom!" I took her in my arms again. "I know it's a lot what I expect from you, but I wouldn't ask if I really didn't need your help."

"I know. And I'll gladly give it to you." She sighed and looked at her empty suitcase. "I just finished unpacking. Now I can pack everything again."

"I'll help you," I offered my help. "And then I'll drive you to the house and show you where to sleep. We have a guest room big enough for you to feel at home in there."

"You know what, Julian?" she said thoughtfully. "When I came to your office yesterday and you treated me so badly, I thought you wanted to get rid of me as soon as possible. I really came to help you and Brooke. But there was another reason as well..."

As she stopped in the middle of the sentence I looked at her with a frown. "What reason was that?" I asked.

"After all the years we were apart, I finally wanted to be part of your life again," she confessed softly. "And it's not true that I don't like Brooke. On the contrary. I can see how happy she makes you. And how can I not like the woman who genuinely loves my son?"

"Oh, Mom!" Touched by her words, I hugged her once more. "I promise that you will be a big part in my life and also in Brooke's life from now on. And of course in the life of your future grandchildren, too," I added.

She wiped her eyes. "You make me cry, Julian, though I wanted to be strong."

I smiled. "Last time I cried in front of you. Now we're even."

"Let's just pack my things. And when we get home, I'll cook you a meal first. You are way too thin!"

I bit back a comment and rolled my eyes instead. I was 24 and she still treated me like a little boy. But I know I had to accept it if I wanted her to help us. She had already opened the wardrobe and I took her clothes and put them neatly folded back into the suitcase. "Done," I said, then snapped the lock shut.

"Are you ready?"

I nodded, took the suitcase and went to the door. I didn't know if I was really ready for what was coming. But I had no choice. With a last look back, I left the hotel room and went with her into an uncertain future.

* * *

 _ **Author's note: I would like to say thank you to illse for the frequent reviews! It means a lot to me. :)**_


	27. Chapter 27

**Brooke's POV**

 **In the hospital**

I was sleeping when suddenly the door to my hospital room opened and I heard a soft voice speaking to me.

"Hey Brooke, sweetheart! Are you awake?"

I wiped my eyes drowsily and then blinked. "Hales!" I exclaimed with pleasure and smiled. "Nice that you come to see me. How is Justin?"

"Very good." She nodded. "But the better question is, how are you?"

"According to circumstances, as the saying goes." I rolled my eyes. "Haven't Julian told you about it?"

"He told me, but I wanted to hear it from you." She smiled broadly. "I couldn't believe it when he told me you were expecting twins. My God, Brooke, twins! Do you know how rarely that happens? And in particular that you've been told that you would never have children of your own."

I smiled sadly. "They are not yet born or fully developed. It's still a long way to go. Has Julian told you about the procedure the doctors are going to perform?"

Haley nodded. "Yes, and I was really surprised that I had never heard of it before."

"You had Jamie the normal way," I said. "You didn't have to deal with alternative methods."

"When do they want to perform the procedure?"

"Probably tomorrow," I answered. "They don't want to wait so long because I had the miscarriage in the third month. Now I'm almost there again and they don't want to take any chances. That's why they do it sooner than usual."

"Julian told me that you have to stay on bed rest afterwards."

"Yes, unfortunately," I sighed. "And I don't know how this will work."

"Of course we all help," Haley said firmly. "I've already talked to Peyton. We simply take turns with the care. And then there's your mother-in-law, who can take care of you, too. "

"What?" I looked at her as if she had suddenly said something in Chinese.

"Your mother-in-law, Sylvia Baker," Haley pointed out, frowning confused.

"I have no idea what you're talking about." I shook my head in confusion. "Julian's mother lives in L.A., not in Tree Hill."

"Um... not anymore," Haley admitted, grinning sheepishly. "Haven't Julian told you?"

"What should he have told me?" I asked frowning.

Haley took a deep breath. "Well, I visited Julian at home, and it looks like your mother-in-law has moved in with you," she said quickly.

"Excuse me?" I exclaimed stunned.

"Your mother-in-law lives with you now," Haley repeated again. "She lives in the guest room."

I let myself sink back and closed my eyes annoyed. What was wrong with Julian that he had allowed his mother to stay at my house without asking me? Sylvia Baker, of all people, who hated me like the plague! "I think I should have a serious talk with Julian," I said, rolling my eyes. "Do you remember how she treated me back then?" I shook my head. "And I should live with such a person under one roof?"

"Don't get upset, Brooke!" Haley said, putting her hand on my arm soothingly. "That's not good for the babies."

I placed my hand on my belly. "Yeah, you're right," I said softly. "She's not worth getting upset."

"Julian certainly meant well," Haley said to his defense. "He wouldn't do anything that would hurt you... or the babies."

"I don't understand," I sighed. "He knows what she thinks of me. How can he then assume that we could live together peacefully?"

"Maybe she changed her mind about you," Haley said hesitantly.

"And pigs might fly!" I rolled my eyes. "When Julian told her that we got married, her reaction was totally odd." I looked at Haley with a serious face. "She called me a slut from the beginning, and for her it was the end of the world that her beloved son had married a person like me."

"Oh Brooke, I'm so sorry!" Haley gently touched my arm. "You should talk to Julian about your doubts. She's already trying to take over your household. When I stopped by earlier, she was cooking a meal for him."

I looked at her in horror and then put my hands over my face. "Oh no!" I groaned. "He probably had told her what a horrible cook I am!"

"You're a fantastic cook!" Haley countered "Don't make yourself small, Brooke. I'm sure Julian wouldn't tell her something negative about you."

"Yes, maybe not," I admitted quietly. "But I think it's rude that she cooks and bakes in my kitchen, which should be my job."

"As I said, talk openly with Julian about your concerns. That's the only advice I can give you." She shrugged helplessly. "Congratulations from Peyton, by the way. She wants to visit you tomorrow."

I had to smile involuntarily. It was nice to know my two friends close to me. Everything was so much easier then. And I would also try to bring the problem with my mother-in-law under control. Haley bent down and pulled me into a hug.

"I have to go now. Please call me after the procedure," she asked.

"Sure, right after that." I promised. "And thank you for your visit."

Haley shifted from one foot to the other. "I wouldn't have told you about your mother-in-law if I had known Julian hadn't informed you yet," she apologized.

"That's fine. She can stay in our house for the few days I'm in the hospital. But then I want her to leave," I said determinedly.

"Okay then, take care."

I could see how relieved she was to leave when she said goodbye. I knew that I had put her in a difficult position. She wanted to be loyal to both of us, Julian and me. But I wouldn't allow Sylvia Baker to get back into our lives! She was the reason why Julian and I had been separated then. She wouldn't get the chance to do that a second time. Exhausted, I rolled over on the side, closed my eyes and fell asleep only a few minutes later.


	28. Chapter 28

**Julian's POV**

 **The next day**

 **In the hospital**

Nervously, I paced back and forth in the waiting area, waiting for Brooke to be taken out of the OR. I would have liked to have been involved in the surgical procedure, but for some reason the spinal injection had failed and the doctors had decided to do a general anesthetic. You'd think I was used to sitting and waiting in hospital waiting rooms, but it was a nerve-wracking experience for me every time and I wished it was over. When suddenly a doctor approached me, I looked up.

"Mr. Baker?"

"Is my wife okay? Did the surgery go well?" I ambushed him with my questions.

The doctor frowned. "Yes, to the first, and yes to the second question. Everything went well. Your wife is now in the recovery room. We will keep her here for observation for the next 24 hours, in case that bleeding occurs. There is a high risk of a miscarriage until then."

I swallowed the lump that had formed. The danger wasn't over yet. Brooke could still lose the twins. The thought was only hard to bear. "Can I see her?"

The doctor nodded. "She is still asleep, but of course you can see her. You can wait until she wakes up."

He made a gesture that I should follow him and then we entered Brooke's hospital room together.

"Talk to her calmly," said the doctor with a smile. "Then maybe she'll wake up faster. But be prepared that she might not be completely awake. After a general anesthetic, patients are often confused and need a while to fully recover."

When he had left, I bent down to Brooke and kissed her lips gently. "Hey, baby," I said softly, carefully stroking her cheek. "Everything went well and our twins are fine too."

"Julian...?"

"Yes, it's me." I reached for her hand. "How are you?"

She frowned, still keeping her eyes closed, causing me to smile involuntarily. "Don't you have to think about how you are?" I asked.

She blinked and then opened her eyes completely. "Why... why didn't you tell me your... your mother is here?" She muttered.

I looked at her in surprise. "How do you know? I just wanted to tell you after surgery."

"Haley told me," she confessed.

I rolled my eyes. It was clear that Haley couldn't hold her tongue. And just from the way Brooke was looking at me now, I could tell that she wasn't exactly happy that my mother was in Tree Hill. "I suppose Haley told you that my mother lives with us now, right?" I asked carefully.

She nodded. "How could you bring her to our house, where you knew how much she despises me?" She exclaimed reproachfully, pulling her hand away.

I sighed inwardly. I had known that it wouldn't be easy convincing Brooke that my mother had changed. But I hadn't expected so much resistance. "She came to Tree Hill to help us," I began hesitantly. "My dad had told her about our situation with Justin, and she was determined to come here."

"How nice of her!"

I could hear the sarcasm from her tone and frowned. "She really means it well this time," I defended my mother.

"Oh, has she already twisted you around her little finger with her false staginess?"

I closed my eyes in frustration and struggled for composure. I realized that nothing I would say would change Brooke's opinion about my mother. Her hatred was just too deep. "We'll talk about it later," I said quietly. "You and the babies need rest now."

"Don't use our babies as an excuse to sneak out from this argument!"

Her eyes glinted angrily and I knew that I had no choice but to settle this issue with her once and for all. "I don't use our babies," I defended myself. "But you just had surgery and should rest. Or do you want to lose them?" When her eyes filled with tears, I knew that I had gone too far.

"That was mean, Julian!"

"Yes, it was," I admitted quietly, reaching for her hand again. "I'm sorry! I shouldn't have said that."

"She has time until tomorrow to pack her bags and get out of my house!" She exclaimed, pulling her hand away again and shoving it under the blanket.

"Brooke..." I started, but she didn't let me finish.

"I don't want to see her when I get home! Do you understand that, Julian? I can't bear to be near her!"

I gave up. There was nothing left to say or do to change her mind. I had to find another way to convince her that my mother meant well and really wanted to help us. And we needed her help. I didn't know how we could manage everything without her. But for now everything was said and done. I bent down to Brooke to kiss her and sighed frustrated as she quickly turned her head aside and my lips landed on her cheek instead of her mouth. "Rest now," I said, straightening up. "I'll come back later." I was already at the door when she called me back.

"Julian?"

I slowly turned to her. "What?"

"You believe me that I wouldn't do anything that could harm our babies, don't you?" She asked softly.

The way she looked at me, with that pained expression and tears in her eyes, almost broke my heart. I just nodded because my throat was suddenly tight, then opened the door and left the hospital room.

 ** **Julian's POV****

 **Brooke's house**

When I came home after the hospital visit, I was shocked to see what my mother had done with our furniture in the meantime. She had 'rebuild' the entire living room. Not only had she rearranged almost all pieces of furniture, she also had taken Brooke's pictures down from the wall. When she noticed me, she turned to me and smiled.

"Oh, hi, Julian! It looks much nicer now, don't you think?" She pointed proudly to her work.

I closed my eyes for a moment and counted from 10 backwards to 0. Brooke was right. She couldn't stay. She would completely mess up our household. I had to find another solution for Brooke's care. "No, Mom, absolutely not," I said, frowning. "Please put the sofa back where it had been. And put the pictures back on the wall, too."

"I just wanted to change them", she said. "I have already selected some new pictures for you that would fit much better to the decor."

"We don't want them," I said as calmly as possible, though I wanted to grab her and shake her. "It's Brooke's pictures, and she won't be very happy when she sees you've exchanged them." I rolled my eyes. "Why did you want to rearrange the furniture in the first place?" I asked her.

"Well, now that I live here too, I wanted to make it a bit cozier and more appealing," she responded. "I also changed the towels in the bathroom. They were altogether ugly. And I put clean sheets on the bed, though I think you should buy new bed linen."

"Excuse me?" I gasped, horrified. "What were you doing in our bedroom?!"

"I just told you. I put some clean sheets on your bed," she said, frowning confused. "What's so bad about that?"

"Brooke and I don't like it when you snoop around in our stuff," I said dryly, rolling my eyes. "Ever heard of 'privacy'?"

"Don't worry, I'm not as prudish as you might think," she said, shrugging casually. "If you want to use sex toys, it's your business."

I felt my cheeks heating up and closed my eyes in embarrassment. Oh no! She hadn't only changed the bedclothes, she also had rummaged in the drawers and had come across Brooke's vibrator. "Mom, that's..." I stopped because I was just lost for words.

"It's a private matter, I know," she finished the sentence and nodded. "Oh, which color would you like to have?"

"For what?" I looked at her in confusion because I hadn't been able to follow her mental leap so quickly.

"For your new duvet covers," she explained. "What is Brooke's favorite color? I don't want to buy the wrong covers."

"You don't need to buy us new duvet covers," I said softly. But I knew immediately that my objection was pointless. What she had taken into her head she would go through with it. "Something in pink or purple," I said with a sigh. "Those are Brooke's favorite colors."

"Good." She grabbed the car key. "You don't mind me taking your car?"

I shook my head mechanically. "No, just take it," I mumbled.

"Fine. I thought to buy my own car. But first I have to talk to your father. He wanted to help me with the selection." She laughed. "You know that I have no clue about cars."

"I could help you," I offered, but she shook her head.

"You have enough on your plate. How is Brooke?"

"Everything went well." I smiled. "She just has to stay in the hospital for the next 24 hours. After that she will be released." I looked around the room. "And by then the furniture should be back to the original place," I said, raising my eyebrows meaningfully.

"Fine with me," she sighed. "But first I will buy you decent bed linen. Since Brooke will spend most of her time in bed, she should have the best."

When she had left the house, I plopped down on the sofa and buried my face in my hands. It was incredible how she always tried to manage my life and made me feel like the little boy from the past again, who had done everything for his mom because he was afraid that she would relapse. But I knew she was no longer the mom of that time, and I was no longer the son who let himself be manipulated. She had been in a drug clinic for months and was no longer emotionally unstable and endangered to become an alcoholic again or to take pills. The only question was, why I still behaved the same way as I did back then? Sighing, I got up and began to put the furniture back in its original place.


	29. Chapter 29

****Brooke's POV****

 **In the hospital**

The argument with Julian had been on my mind even after hours. I hated it when we argued, and in that case I knew it was not his fault. I had met Sylvia Baker and knew how manipulative and dominant she was and what influence she had on him until today. But apparently he didn't want to see it or just ignored it. However, that didn't change the fact that she had to leave Tree Hill. And since Julian was too weak to say his opinion, I would have to do it. But as long as I had to stay in the hospital it wasn't feasible. I had to wait until my release. Just when I pondered how I could do it, the door opened and my eyes widened with shock as I saw who came to visit me. "Mrs. Baker!?" I exclaimed.

"Sylvia," she corrected with a smile. "We should finally stop being so formal with each other, Brooke. You're my son's wife after all and soon my grandchildren's mother as well."

I could only stare at her, wondering what she wanted here. Haven't Julian told her that I wasn't interested in her company? I cleared my throat. "Julian haven't told me that you were for a visit in Tree Hill," I lied. I saw her lower lip twitch slightly.

"Oh really? Well, he must have forgotten it," she said, forcing a smile. "Well, it's just that I didn't simply come to visit. Julian kindly invited me to spend some time here."

I clawed my fingers in the blanket and tried to stay calm. I had guessed that my husband wouldn't have the guts to kick her out. "I don't think that will be necessary," I said coolly, raising my chin a little higher. "Julian and I get along fine on our own."

"But I see it differently." She pulled up a chair and sat down. "Julian told me that you have to be on bed rest for the next few months. And he won't have time to take care of you because he has to work. And then there's the little boy you want to adopt. How do you want to deal with it on your own without any help?"

"Haley and Peyton offered to help me," I clarified.

"Oh, yes, Haley." She nodded. "She's a nice young woman. But she has a family of her own to look after."

I closed my eyes in frustration. She was right. Although Haley wanted to help me, she couldn't be with me all the time. She still had Jamie and Nathan to look after and also a job as a professional singer.

"Why are you rejecting my help? What's your problem?"

I jerked my head and stared at her. "Who says I have a problem?"

"Well, even a blind person can see that. Since I entered this room, you treat me coolly and in such a condescending manner," she said, pursing her lips. "I'm only here to help you."

"But I don't want your help!" I yelled.

"What have I done to you to deserve such a treatment?" She exclaimed in a slightly trembling voice.

"I can't believe you're asking me that!" I shook my head in disbelief. "Seriously? You don't know?" I glared at her. "You called me a slut back then and claimed I was just playing with people's feelings. And you said that I wasn't good enough for your son. Do you remember when I was standing in front of your house asking for Julian's health and you treated me like the last piece of shit? You literally said to me 'You are not welcome here' and chased me away. And then you forbade Julian to see me again." I had talked myself into rage that I couldn't stop anymore. Finally, I had the opportunity to tell her everything that had been on my mind for 5 years. "Should I continue the list? Okay, then listen carefully." I cleared my throat. "You forced him to go to L.A., although he was happy in Tree Hill. You destroyed our lives because you were unhappy with yours. Do you have any idea what you did to Julian all these years?! No? I will tell you. He still has nightmares and wakes up drenched in sweat, because he has never forgotten how he found you half-dead in the bathtub! And you're asking me why I treat you bad? Ask yourself what you did to others! Nobody wants you here. So why don't you just leave and never come back!"

Breathing heavily, I finished the sentence and waited for her reaction. I had expected everything except that she suddenly jumped up, put her hand over her mouth and ran to the door with a stifled sob. When she opened it and ran out I just stared after her in confusion. Only then I realized what I had done. With a trembling hand, I picked up the phone on the table next to my bed and started dialing. I prayed that Julian would be home. He was the only one who could stop her from doing something stupid. Luckily he answered the call on the first ring.

"Julian? I did something really bad!" I said hurriedly.

 _"What happened?"_

"Your mother was here," I told him. "And I said pretty mean things to her. Then she ran out crying and I'm afraid she'll do something stupid!"

 _"What did you say to her?"_

"Everything." I noticed tears running down my cheeks. "All things that have been bothering me for years I have thrown on her head," I said desperately. "I was so full of anger and hatred. I just didn't think about what that would do to her."

 _"Okay, keep calm! She was in the hospital?"_

I nodded. "Yes, she was here to visit me. I don't even know why. She said something about wanting to help us."

 _"We'll clarify that later. She took my car. I'll have to borrow yours then. Is this okay?"_

"Yes, sure. Just come quickly. Maybe she's just running around outside and didn't take the car," I said, hoping I would be right. When Julian hung up, I leaned back and wiped the tears from my cheeks. If Sylvia did something to herself, it was my fault alone! I remembered how Julian had told me how mentally unstable she was. An argument like that could lead in another suicide attempt. I might not like her much, but I didn't want her dead. Minutes became hours, until the door finally opened and Julian entered.

"Did you find her?" I asked him nervously.

He came closer and shook his head slowly. "No, and I'm afraid that we won't find her so soon," he said hesitantly and looked at me with a serious expression. "She didn't run out to take a walk. She took the car and drove away."


	30. Chapter 30

**Julian's POV**

Although I had been reluctant to leave Brooke alone in her condition, it had also been important to me to look for my mother. At first, I called my father's office, who had just been in a meeting and couldn't answer my call. My next stop was the airport. But she hadn't been on the airport grounds or registered as a passenger on any of the airlines. I could have reported my car as stolen or missing, but I didn't want to involve the police. But if I wouldn't find her soon, I'd have to call them whether I liked it or not. Frustrated and tired, I sat back in Brooke's car and wondered where she might have gone. Finally I started the engine and drove off. I had no particular goal in mind when I turned onto the road that led to our former home. And there I saw my car, which was parked on the street and then my mother, who sat on the steps in front of the house, with her head lowered. I steered Brooke's car to the side, turned off the engine, and jumped out. She raised her head and looked at me startled as she recognized me. I quickened my pace to be with her faster. "Thank God I found you! Are you okay?" I gasped, pulling her up and hugging her when I had reached her.

"Julian, what... what are you doing here?" She stammered in surprise.

"I was looking for you," I said, hugging her again. "Brooke told me you just ran away. I was so worried!"

She took a step back and pointed to the house. "Did you know it's for sale?"

I followed her gaze with a frown, then shook my head. "No, I didn't know that."

"Your dad told me when he picked me up from the airport," she said quietly. "I called the estate agent right away and asked him to make a reservation for me. I wanted to buy it for you, because I thought Brooke's house would soon be too small for all of you."

"You wanted to give us the house as gift?" I asked, looking at her in disbelief. "Why?"

"Because I thought I could make up for what I did to you," she confessed softly and then lowered her head. "But I didn't know at the time how much Brooke hates me."

I shook my head. "She doesn't hate you. She is just... "

"Yes, she does, Julian," she interrupted. "She made that very clear today. And you know what? I'm not even mad. She has good reasons why she feels that way. I was just too selfish to see it."

I raised my head and looked at her surprised. That my mother admitted her faults was exceptional.

"Is it true what she told me?" She asked after a few seconds of silence.

"I don't know what Brooke told you," I said, frowning questioningly.

"She told me that you still have nightmares when you remember how you found me lifeless in the bathtub."

Shocked, I held my breath. I couldn't believe Brooke had told her that! That I didn't answer right away seemed to be proof enough for her.

"So it's true." She buried her face in her hands and groaned. "She was right about everything, wasn't she?"

I could see regret, guilt, and despair in her eyes as she looked at me, and I felt a stab in my heart. I knew Brooke had a reason to be mad. But seeing my mother so desperate almost broke my heart. I put my arms around her, pulling her closer. "You were sick back then," I said softly. "You said a lot of things when you were drunk and high on pills that you didn't mean."

"Yeah, you know that, but does Brooke know that too?" She asked desperately. "Believe me, Julian, I just came to help you. But maybe it will be better if I leave and go back to L.A."

I looked at her startled. "You want to leave Tree Hill again? But what about your wish to be closer to your family again? You wanted to become a part of our lives. You can't just leave!"

"Maybe you want me to become part of your life, but Brooke obviously doesn't want that," she said, smiling sadly.

"You two should talk. And that's what we're going to do now." I grabbed her hand and pulled her over to my car. "Give me the car keys!"

"What are you doing?" She asked suspiciously as she rummaged the keys out of her pocket.

"Get in!" I opened the door and waited for her to get in.

"Julian, where are we going?"

I could see how nervous she was. "We're going back to the hospital. You're going to talk to Brooke now. And in the meantime I'm standing at the door and wait until you and her have finished your discussion. I won't let you go until the two of you have talked."

"That's ridiculous!" She gasped, shaking her head. "What's the point of that? She made it clear that she doesn't wish to see me again."

I turned to her and looked at her with a serious expression. "I saw Brooke's reaction when she thought you could have hurt yourself. She was really scared. That's why she called me right away and asked me to look for you. I'm sorry for what she told you. It's probably the hormones." I rolled my eyes. "Normally she isn't that harsh and emotional. And she had regretted her words the moment you left the room. I wouldn't force the two of you to speak to each other again if I didn't believe that there is still hope for you to get along."

"You believe she can forgive me for what I did to her years ago?" She asked doubtfully.

I nodded. "Yes, I believe that. Can you forgive her?" For a moment, she looked at me thoughtfully.

"Her only sin was falling in love with my son," she said quietly. "And I'm really happy about it." She smiled suddenly. "I couldn't have wished for a better woman for you. Brooke is not only pretty, but also intelligent, confident and courageous. I wouldn't have had the courage to face my mother-in-law in the past. But I know why she did it." She took a deep breath. "She did it out of love for you. And since we love you both, maybe we should try to get along with each other, than argue."

Her words had affected me, and I struggled to hold back tears. Was it really possible that the two women I loved most in this world would come to an agreement?

"Julian? Are you dreaming? I thought we wanted to drive to the hospital."

I blinked a few times to get a clear view again and then started the engine and drove off.

 ** **Brooke's POV****

 **In the hospital**

The wait was unnerving. Julian had promised to call me immediately when he had found his mother. But hours had passed since then, without receiving any message from him. Gradually, I had become really worried. I blamed myself for what had happened. If something bad had happened to Sylvia, Julian would never forgive me. I picked up the phone again and called his cell phone. But even as the few times before, I only got his voicemail. "Damn, Julian," I said loudly into the room. "Where the hell are you and why don't you answer my calls?" As if through transmission of thought, the door suddenly opened and he stood in front of me. I had to force myself to stay in bed, even though I wanted nothing more than to jump out of it and throw myself into his arms. "Where have you been?" I exclaimed. "You wanted to call me. Did you find your mother?"

"Oh yes, I forgot there is someone who wants to visit you," he said, scratching his head thoughtfully as he walked back to the door and opened it again.

I couldn't stay in bed anymore when I saw who my visitor was. I threw back the blanket, cautiously got out of bed and took a few steps towards her. We just looked at each other for a moment before I put my arms around her. And I was relieved when I noticed that she hugged me back. For a moment, we forgot about the quarrel we had before. And as she pulled me closer, I let it go and leaned my head against her shoulder. "I... I'm so sorry," I stammered. "What I said was unfair and cruel. I know that you would do nothing that could harm Julian. He told me how sick you were back then."

"It's okay," she said quietly, taking a step back. "I'm not blaming you. It was your right to be mad at me. I said a lot and did many things that I feel sorry for today. I gave a shit of other people's feelings, especially Julian's. I wanted to bind him to me because I was afraid to be alone. That's why I forced my son to go to L.A with me. He was the only one left. And I didn't realize how much he suffered." She looked at Julian. "I am so sorry! I would like to make amends if you let me."

That was my keyword. I cleared my throat. "You can help us," I said, quickly exchanging glances with Julian. "You can move in with us and take care of me." I had to smile when I saw her surprised expression. "That's why you came here in the first place, didn't you?"

She nodded. "And you're really sure that you want me to live with you?" She asked skeptically.

"Absolutely." I went to Julian and snuggled into his arms. "We both want it. And you were right, I can't do it alone when I'm on bed rest. I need help."

"Apropos 'bed rest'," Julian interjected, shoving me gently back to the bed while he looked at me with raised eyebrows. "Who allowed you to get up? I remember the doctor said something about 'strict bed rest'."

I crawled back into my bed and rolled my eyes. "That was only a few minutes," I defended myself.

"Everything settled between the two of you?" Julian asked, frowning.

I looked at Sylvia and then nodded as she smiled encouragingly. "Yes, we have clarified everything. You can go home now. "

"Oh, Julian, can we pass by the estate agent before we get the other car?"

I looked at my mother-in-law puzzled. "Estate agent?" I echoed confused and looked quickly at Julian, who shrugged.

"And at the fashion store?"

"She wants to buy new sheets," Julian said with a chuckle.

"O-kay?" I frowned in confusion. "Could you then pick up Justin from Haley? I think he was with her long enough now. And since I'm out of the hospital tomorrow, he should be home then."

Julian nodded. "Will be done. Anything else?"

"No, that was it for now." As he bent down to me, kissing me goodbye, I closed my eyes. "I love you," I whispered to him and then looked at Sylvia. "And we'll see each other at home," I said, smiling. When both had left, I sat back in my pillow. How things sometimes sort itself out, like puzzle pieces that fit together. I was really happy that we had found a solution that pleased all of us, and I couldn't wait to get home to start my new life with Sylvia, Julian and Justin.


	31. Chapter 31

**Julian's POV**

 **Julian's office**

A week had passed since Brooke had been released from the hospital and my mother had moved in with us. I had feared that they would argue again because my mother liked to order around, but so far everything had gone smoothly and I hoped it would stay that way. Justin had become dear to our hearts that we could no longer imagine a life without him. And for him we had become something like 'surrogate parents'. So far we hadn't heard from our lawyer and I didn't know if it was a good or bad sign in case of a possible adoption. When I entered my office that day, my dad was already awaiting me.

"Hey, Julian! Nice to see you again," he said with an ironic undertone in his voice.

I walked around my desk and sat down. Only with difficulty I could suppress a comment on his reproach. "You know that a lot happened in my private life," I said irritably. "But now I'm back. Any news?"

"I heard your mother is living with you now," he said, ignoring the comment before.

I frowned. "Yes, she does, but what does that have to do with the new project?"

"Nothing." He shrugged. "I just thought I could drop by sometime."

I looked at him in surprise. "Sure," I nodded in agreement. "You can visit anytime."

"How is the adoption going?"

I was beginning to suspect that my father didn't intend to talk about business matters. His questions were too private for that. "Not good," I replied hesitantly. "So far, the lawyer hasn't contacted us. I expect a call from him every day."

"I might be able to help you," he suggested. "I have to fly to L.A. for a few days, and then I could go by your lawyer and ask him how far he has come with his investigations."

I could only stare at my dad. For years he hadn't been interested in my life, and now he wanted to help me with the adoption? "That's... really nice of you," I stuttered.

His mouth twitched slightly. "I guess you're wondering why I'm doing this? Well, maybe it's because I'm not getting any younger and this may be my last chance to make things right I screwed up back then."

My stomach suddenly knotted. "You... you don't mean to tell me you're going to die, do you?" I asked worriedly. I was relieved when he started to laugh.

"Oh, just because I mentioned 'last chance'?" He shook his head. "Don't worry, son, I'm in good health. It's just that I'm a little jealous of your mother at the moment, that she's got such good contact with you again." He grinned sheepishly. "I can't tell you how happy I am for you and Brooke, that you're becoming parents now. And I also know how much the little boy means to you. I just want to help."

I felt warm inside as I heard the words coming from my father's mouth. For many years I had been waiting for this moment. "When are you going to L.A.?" I asked.

"The day after tomorrow. It's about our project to make a TV-series out of the book. I want to meet with a person in charge of a TV station who might be willing to buy the rights to the series and then broadcast it."

"Wow!" I exclaimed in surprise. "Isn't that a little early? I mean, we haven't even started filming yet. Not to mention that we still need to re-cast some of the roles."

"These are just the preliminary negotiations," he said reassuringly. "We don't sign anything yet. But it can't hurt to 'stretch out our feelers'. If they like the concept, we've already won a lot."

"I'll fly with you," I decided spontaneously. "Then I can kill two birds with one stone. I would like to talk to the lawyer myself, and I would like to see Markham again, too."

"You want to go straight into the lion's den?" He asked skeptically.

I nodded. "I have to try everything. Justin belongs to us, to me and Brooke. And I'll do anything to convince the lawyer that Markham is incapable to raise a child."

"Maybe it makes an impression on the lawyer if I'm with you." He grinned sheepishly. "If he sees that your parents support you, he might be more willing to give you the boy." He frowned questioningly. "Markham lives alone?"

I groaned inwardly as I thought back to what Justin's father had told us back then. "He has changing acquaintances," I told my father, rolling my eyes. "You know what that means, right?"

He cleared his throat uncomfortably. "Yes, that's obvious. But why does the lawyer want to grant him custody? Such a guy is totally unsuitable for raising a little boy. "

I nodded. "Yes, I know, and that is exactly what we have to prove."

"Then that's settled," he said firmly. "But can you just leave home like that?"

"Mom is here to take care of Brooke and Justin," I reminded him. "And Haley and Peyton are helping too. It doesn't make a difference if I'm there or away for a couple days."

"Then clarify that with them and contact me. As I said, I fly the day after tomorrow. Let me know, then I'll book a seat in the plane for you. I'll await your call. See you, Julian!"

He patted my shoulder and left my office. Although I had told my father that it wouldn't be a problem leaving Tree Hill for some days, I knew Brooke wouldn't take the news lightly. It was bad enough for her that she couldn't leave the house. If she found out that I would go to L.A. without her to settle things with Markham and the lawyer, she would feel even more worse. Sighing, I got up and left the office to drive home.

 ** **Julian's POV****

 **Law Firm, Los Angeles**

 **A few days later**

I was incredibly nervous when we entered the law firm and at the same time relieved that my father was accompanying me this time. The lawyer had called and had told us that there were news and I couldn't wait to find out more about it. But when we entered the office, we realized that the lawyer wasn't alone. Tom Markham was also present and looked up as we entered.

"Mr. Baker? You already know Mr. Markham," the lawyer introduced him.

I nodded, my throat suddenly tight. He looked different, which was probably because he had used a razor and had shortened his hair by more than half the length. The similarity with Justin was now undeniable. "This is my father, Paul Norris," I introduced my companion after I had cleared my throat. "He is here to support me."

"Well, it looks like it won't be necessary," said the lawyer, looking at Justin's father. "That's right, isn't it, Mr. Markham?"

I looked puzzled between the two back and forth. "What does that mean?" I asked suspiciously.

"Mr. Markham is willing to give up custody," said the lawyer matter of factly. "He has also signed the form, which will allow us to initiate the adoption process. Since there is no one else who could have a claim on the boy, this will be a mere formality."

I sat there stunned, unable to understand what I'd just been told.

"Does that mean that my son just has to sign a few papers to make the boy his son by law?"

I looked up when my dad asked that question and gradually realized that we had won. Justin would come to us, to Brooke and me. We would be a family.

"Can I go now?" Markham jumped up before the lawyer could reply.

Something was wrong. I felt that very clearly. And when Markham ran out of the office, life came back to me. "I'll be right back," I shouted to the lawyer and ran after him. I caught him just before he could get in his sports car.

"What do you want?" He hissed at me and looked at me with a scowl.

"What happened?" I asked, frowning. "The last time we visited you, you wanted to apply for custody of Justin. Why did you change your mind?"

He laughed bitterly. "I didn't change my mind," he said mockingly. "I really wanted to give him a home. But as you can see…" He gestured with his hands. "I simply failed."

"Failed?" I echoed confused.

"They were at my place," he finally confessed. "The people from the adoption agency turned everything upside down and eventually found that it was not 'suitable for children'." He snorted contemptuously. "These old maids have no clue what a child really needs!"

He was angry. I could clearly get this from his allegations. But there was something else that made me thoughtful all of a sudden. "You really wanted him to live with you, right?" I asked cautiously.

He shrugged. "He's my son. Wouldn't you want to have your son with you?"

I was on the verge of telling him that he had offered Chelsea money for an abortion. But maybe his feelings had changed now that he knew he had a son. "I'm sorry," I said and I meant it honest this time.

"Oh, really?" He said mockingly. "I don't believe you. You got what you wanted. So take the boy, and leave me alone!"

He turned away to get in his car as I quickly pulled the DVD out of my jacket pocket on which I had burned the movie with Justin. "Here!" I held it out to him. "You asked me for a copy back then. I want you to take it now and keep it as a reminder."

He hesitated for a moment before finally reaching for the DVD. "Thanks," he muttered, looking into my eyes one last time before he got in his car and drove off.

With mixed feelings, I went back to the law firm and entered the office. "He told me everything," I told the lawyer before he could ask me a question. "That wasn't fair."

"What do you mean by 'fair'?" He asked confused.

"He didn't give up custody voluntarily, he was accused not to be 'worthy' to raise a child," I said.

"Well, I don't know why you care about that, Mr. Baker. You should be glad that things went so smoothly. Most adoption procedures usually last much longer. And I informed you how we check on potential candidates before we grant legal custody."

I raised my head and looked at the lawyer thoughtfully. I knew all of this and I should be happy that we won. But I couldn't forget Markham's last look, which he had given me. Maybe it was because I would become a father myself soon, that suddenly I had the feeling that I had taken a father away from his child and vice versa.

"Mr. Baker? "

Interrupted in my thoughts, I looked up when the lawyer approached me. "What?"

"Can we go over the adoption papers now?"

I nodded mechanically. "Does my wife have to sign, too?"

"We'll send her the papers, she signs it, and then she just sends it back to me." The lawyer smiled. "As I said, it's a mere formality. Since the boy already lives with you, not much will change for him. Surely it would have been easier if an adoption agency in Tree Hill had taken over the adoption case. But Justin Cherney was born in Los Angeles. So the laws of California and not of South Carolina will come to fruition." He cleared his throat before continuing. "The signed papers then go to court, and eventually the adoption is legalized by judicial decision."

"Thanks for all you have done." I held out my hand to the lawyer and looked at my father, who had followed the conversation as a bystander.

"What happened out there?" He asked as we had left the office.

"I don't know," I murmured, sighing. "I know Brooke won't understand this, but I just feel sorry for him," I confessed.

"Yes, I thought so." He nodded. "When you came back you acted odd. What did he say to you?"

"It's not what he said, but rather how he said it," I replied. "He had just learned that he had a son and was willing to take him in to be a father to him. And then someone just decides over his head that he is not worthy enough to be a father."

"Believe me, Julian, that was for the best. For Justin, Brooke and also for you. Forget him and be glad that you got the permission to adopt the boy. And now we should hurry. In an hour we want to meet with the managing director of the TV channel to talk with him about our series."

When my dad patted my shoulder and then walked to the car, I followed him slowly behind. I tried not to think about Markham anymore, but how happy Brooke would be about the news that Justin would soon be a part of our family. With this positive thought in mind, I got in the car and drove off.


	32. Chapter 32

**Brooke's POV**

 **Brooke's house**

When there was thunder outside, I jumped in alarm and then wrapped my arms around my body. It had been raining outside for hours, and lightning flashed in the sky. I hated thunderstorms! Since I almost died recently, during such a storm, even more so. And the thought that my husband was on a plane right now, on the way back to Tree Hill, didn't make me calmer.

"Could you please lie down again?"

Ignoring my mother-in-law's request, I went to the window and looked out worriedly. "Why isn't he calling? He promised he would call before the takeoff." I looked at her anxiously. "Do you think they could even fly?"

"Stop walking around so hectically and sit down at least!"

I stopped my pacing and went back to the sofa and sat down. I knew she meant it well, but sometimes her clucky behavior just got on my nerves. Sylvia sat down next to me, reaching for my hand.

"Don't worry so much," she said quietly. "They probably are still in the middle of the negotiations and haven't had time to call."

"Or their plane crashed," it slipped out. I quickly slapped my hand over my mouth when I saw Sylvia's horrified expression. I blamed the hormones that I was currently in such a morbid mood. And the weather did the rest. I just hoped that Julian and Paul had been so reasonable to postpone the flight.

"Don't even think that, Brooke!"

I leaned back and closed my eyes. "I'm sorry," I mumbled. "It's just that it's not long ago that Chelsea's plane crashed. And it doesn't reassure me that our men are now sitting in such a thing," I confessed.

"You're just over-sensitive right now," Sylvia said, brushing a strand of hair from my face. "I told Julian before he left that the time now is inconvenient to leave you alone. But he didn't want to listen to me. "

"It's about Justin's future," I defended him. "That's why he flew to L.A."

"And because his dad wanted him by his side when he talked to this TV manager about the series he and Julian are planning," she added, rolling her eyes.

It thundered outside, causing me to jump up again and ran to the window. "I know now how Julian must have felt when I was out there and he didn't know if I was alive," I muttered as I continued to stare into the impenetrable darkness.

"Brooke, get away from the window!" Sylvia had also risen and gently grabbed my arm and pulled me away. "You shouldn't run around at all," she said reprovingly. "I know, I sound like a broken record, but you know what the doctors said."

"Do you think I can lie down and sleep now while I don't know where Julian is?!" I blurted out angrily. "I don't understand that you can be so calm. Aren't you afraid?"

She nodded. "Of course I'm worried. But it's no use going crazy now, if you don't even know what happened," she said calmly. "And I don't think the plane crashed." She sighed softly. "But I also understand why you think that. But you have to remember that you can't compare a Cessna with a Boeing 747. And apart from that, driving is even more dangerous. Many more people are killed in traffic than by plane crashes. But you wouldn't stop driving because of that, right?"

I had to smile involuntarily. I knew she just wanted to help me over my fears, and I had to admit that it even worked. "You're right," I said and went back to the sofa. "They'll call." I had just lay down and had pulled the blanket over me when suddenly the door opened and Julian stood in the frame.

"Speaking of the devil," Sylvia grinned, examining her son from head to toe. His clothes were sodden with rain and water was dripping from his hair.

Nothing could hold me now. I threw back the blanket, jumped up and ran into Julian's arms. "Thank God!" I shouted in relief. "You're alive!" He frowned in confusion before he put his arms around me and kissed me.

At that moment I didn't care if my clothes got soaked. I was just happy to have him back. I don't know how long we had just stood there, hugging and kissing each other, when Sylvia cleared her throat behind us.

"I'll leave you two alone and go to my room," she said and then left.

Julian looked at me worriedly. "Are you all right? The whole time in L.A., I was worried that something might be wrong with you or the babies."

"We're fine." To prove it, I smiled and put a hand on my belly. "Your mother took good care of us." I stroked a damp strand of hair from his forehead. "What do you think about taking off your clothes and then taking a hot shower?" I suggested.

"What are you planning to do with me, Brooke Baker?" He asked, raising his eyebrows with an amused grin.

"Nothing," I replied with a chuckle. "I just don't want you to catch a cold. And when you had a shower and changed your clothes, you have to tell me what the lawyer said."

He looked around. "Is Justin there?"

I shook my head. "Jamie had invited him to an overnight bash today. Haley won't bring him back until tomorrow morning. "

"Then I have to wait, until I can tell him the good news," he said mysteriously.

My heartbeat quickened. "Good news?" I repeated mechanically, then widened my eyes as I realized what he meant by that. "Is that supposed to mean that...?" I couldn't finish my sentence when Julian began to grin broadly.

"We won, Brooke!" He confirmed. "The lawyer is already preparing the papers for the adoption. In a few days Justin will be legally our son."

Suddenly tears ran down my cheeks, and I wrapped my arms around his neck. "Oh, Julian," I sobbed with happiness, "that's the best news in a long time!" Out of the corner of my eye, I saw the door opening and Sylvia joining us.

"Is there something to celebrate?" She asked, looking at us curiously.

I freed myself from Julian's arms and nodded brightly. "Justin is coming to us," I said happily. "We'll be a real family."

"Well, we have to celebrate that," she suggested and went to the fridge and took out a bottle of grape juice. "Let's clink glasses!" She filled the glasses and then handed them over to us. "To family!" She said solemnly.

I snuggled into Julian's arms. "To family and the future!" I said with a smile, clinking my glass with his.


	33. Chapter 33

**Brooke's POV**

 **Four months later**

Whoever said that time was flying was really right. At the beginning of my pregnancy I had thought that I would never endure it. But thanks to Sylvia, my husband and my best friends, who had supported me in the last few months, the time had passed quickly. I was 7 months pregnant now and there had been a lot of changes in my life, mostly positive ones. Justin was in kindergarten now, as was Jamie. The two were still best friends, and Justin was more at Haley's than at home. Julian and Paul had begun filming the 'Ravens' series, and I spent my time with watching movies on DVD and drawing clothing drafts. In the meantime my mother took care of 'Clothes Over Bros' and therefore had even moved from New York to Tree Hill. She and Sylvia had become friends, and I was glad to have my family around me. This made the whole waiting a little more bearable, even though the pregnancy became more strenuous from week to week. Surprisingly, the last check-up at the doctor's office had revealed that Julian and I would become parents of sons, making the choice of clothes a little easier, or choosing the color of the nursery. But I also had to say goodbye to my dream of a daughter. After it was clear that we would get boys, Julian and I had searched for baby names and soon had found them. Actually, everything was ready for the arrival of the twins. Now it was time to wait and be patient. Sylvia had gone shopping and Julian was on the set when there was a knock on the door. Slowly I got up from the sofa, went to the door and opened it. I had thought it was my mother, or maybe Haley or the postman, but it was Tom Markham, Justin's birth father, who stood in front of me and eyed me from head to toe. Since the adoption had been finalized, we hadn't heard from him. It was a surprise to see him here now, but not a pleasant one.

"Is your husband around?"

No welcome, no friendly phrases. He came straight to the point. "No, he's at the film set," I said hesitantly, studying him more closely. He looked different. The last time we had seen each other, he had looked like a jungle man. Now he wore a modern short haircut, was shaved and casually dressed in jeans and T-shirt. I suddenly understood why Chelsea had fallen for him. Tom Markham was handsome. But his good look didn't cover up his true nature.

"Can you tell me where the film set is?" He asked.

I frowned. "Why, what do you want from my husband?"

"He called me and told me he was shooting a new TV series. They would need a cameraman. I've been out of the job for a while, but I'd like to work behind the camera again."

Julian had called him? I couldn't believe it! I cleared my throat. "What about your surfer shop?"

"I sold it," he said. "Just like my beach house. The decision wasn't easy, but I think I owe it to Chelsea that I take care of our son. I said goodbye to everything and everybody in L.A. to start a new life here."

My stomach contracted slightly. So that was why he came to Tree Hill, I thought bitterly. He wanted to take Justin away from us! "'Our son'," I mimicked him. "Until a few months ago, you didn't even know that you have a son!"

"Listen, Brooke," he began, fixing me with narrowed eyes. "I know you don't like me. No idea what Chelsea had told you about me, but I'm not the bad person you think I am. When I found out she was pregnant, I panicked. I was 22 and felt too young to become a father. I didn't want that responsibility. That's why I gave her the money. I didn't even think about it. I regret this today, and I'm glad Chelsea had the baby."

I stared at him, reluctantly admitting that his words affected me. What he said sounded honest. He really regretted what he had done. "If you accept the job as a cameraman in Tree Hill," I began reluctantly, "will you move here as well?"

"That's the plan," he said, nodding. "I had enough time to think about it. I have my job and still can be close to Justin."

A queasy feeling came over me. "You want to tell him you're his father?" I stammered, realizing what he was up to.

"He's old enough to know the truth," he said, looking at me. "One day he will have to decide where he wants to live, with you or with me, his biological father."

I looked at him with a stunned expression. He was really here to take Justin away from us! I wondered if Julian knew that when he had offered him the job. "Justin is legally Julian's and my son now," I said in a slightly trembling voice. "You gave up all rights of him."

He nodded. "Yes, and I regret that today. In fact, I was forced to do so at the time. But my life situation has changed since then. And when I have a job and an apartment, nobody can say that I'm unfit to be a father."

"You're four and a half year too late," I muttered.

"Better late than never." He grinned. "So, will you give me the address of the film set now?"

I gave him the address and then looked after him with mixed feelings. For a moment, I considered calling Julian and warning him. But I immediately rejected the idea. If I called him on the set right now, he'd probably think something was wrong with the babies. And I didn't want him to worry unnecessarily. But I had to talk to somebody now. I reached for my cell phone and dialed Haley's number.

 _"Brooke? Everything okay? Are you in labor?"_

I smiled. Every time I called her she asked the same questions. "No, Don't worry. Everything is fine. I just need someone to talk to."

 _"Something happened?"_

I took a deep breath. "Justin's biological father was here," I told her. "It looks like Julian offered him a job on the set."

 _"Is that bad?"_

"I don't know yet," I admitted with a sigh. "He wants to move to Tree Hill to be closer to his son. I'm afraid he wants to take Justin away from us, Hales."

 _"He can't do that. The boy is legally your son. Don't worry, Brooke. Even if he tried to take Justin away from you, he wouldn't stand a chance."_

"Do you think so?"

 _"Yes, I do. You can contact the lawyer again if you're unsure. But I don't think he has a legal handle. The adoption is finalized."_

"Yes, it's probably a good idea to call the lawyer and ask him. Thanks, Hales." I smiled. "Now I'm a little calmer."

 _"What are the twins doing?"_

I gently put a hand on my rounded belly. "I think they're sleeping right now. But the night was terrible. They were clambering about all the time, keeping me awake."

 _"That's normal at the end of the pregnancy. And I'm talking about how it had been with Jamie. I can't imagine what it's like to have two babies in my belly. But don't worry. It won't be long before you can hold them in your arms."_

"Yeah, another 10 weeks, if everything goes smoothly until then," I sighed and petted my belly.

 _"You will see that time will pass very quickly. Unfortunately I have to go now. I have to pick up Jamie from kindergarten."_

"Yes, Sylvia wanted to pick up Justin after her shopping trip, too. Take care, Hales."

I hung up and went back to the sofa while gently massaging my belly. For a few days I had noticed that my belly became hard when I was up too long, which was the case now. But lying was not really relaxing. There was no position that was comfortable enough to stay there for hours. How could I endure this for another 10 weeks? Sighing, I reached for the remote control and pressed 'Play' to continue with the movie I had watched before Markham had interrupted me.


	34. Chapter 34

**Julian's POV**

Brooke was in a strange mood when I entered our home that evening, and it wasn't hard to guess, why. Luckily, my mother and Justin were still up, so she didn't give me a moral lecture in presence of them, but after dinner and after we had put Justin to bed, she could no longer restrain her temper and attacked me with her accusations, as soon as I had closed the door to our bedroom.

"What were you thinking to offer Markham a job?!"

She glared at me and I groaned inwardly. I guessed that it would cause trouble. Maybe a reason why I hadn't told her. I only shrugged. "We were looking for a cameraman and then I remembered that he used to work in that job," I said casually.

"You can't tell me that he was the only cameraman you could find! He told me you called him. So you deliberately toyed with the idea of bringing him here. And I don't think you did it out of pure human kindness. You pursue a specific goal with it. Am I right?"

She was right, but I couldn't tell her that. She wouldn't understand it anyway. Our last meeting, four months ago, in front of the law firm, affected me in a way I couldn't really grasp myself. Justin's father had looked so sad and depressed, and I had remembered how I had felt when I thought Justin was my son. I knew what he felt. I, too, had wanted to be a part of Justin's life then. A fact that almost had cost Brooke's life.

"Julian? Would you please answer me!"

I looked up and frowned. "I didn't listen. What did you say?"

"Why did you offer Markham a job? And don't say, 'because we were looking for a cameraman.'" She rolled her eyes. "I know there is more behind it."

I reached for her hands and pulled her to the bed. "Sit down," I asked her. "I'll tell you, but please promise me you won't get upset!"

"I get upset if you don't tell me," she said, frowning. "Go on, spit it out. What's the real cause you brought Markham to Tree Hill?"

I took a deep breath before answering. "I want Justin to know who his father is," I confessed to her, waiting for her reaction, which came instantly.

"Have you lost your mind?" She gasped. "Justin is four, Julian! He still doesn't understand what the word 'father' means at all! He never had one. And just because Markham procreated him doesn't make him a 'father'. This entails more than that."

"Justin has a right to know who his father is," I contradicted her. "Imagine you were adopted. Wouldn't you want to know who your birth parents are?" I saw her lower lip tremble and her eyes filling with tears and suddenly felt bad. I knew she was scared that Justin would be taken away from her. And I also didn't want to lose him. But for many weeks, my conscience has plagued me that there were always two sides to a medal. And I just wanted to give Justin the chance to meet his dad before it was too late.

"He won't rest until he had taken our boy from us," she exclaimed desperately. "Do you want that, Julian?"

I pulled her into my arms. "He won't," I mumbled, kissing her forehead gently. "I just want them to spend some time together, getting to know each other better. Of course, under our supervision. You really don't need to be afraid. I'll make sure he doesn't do anything we don't want, okay?" I looked at her expectantly.

She nodded hesitantly. "Did you give him the job?"

"Yes, he's got the job," I confessed. "Now he is still looking for an apartment where he can live so he can move here as soon as possible."

"Do you think Chelsea would have wanted Justin to meet his biological father?"

I looked at her thoughtfully. "You told me that she sent him a message after Justin's birth. Apparently she wanted him to know and acknowledge the paternity."

"Yeah, I think you're right," she admitted quietly. "I completely forgot about that. I thought the fact that he didn't contact her was proof that he didn't care about the baby. But now I know that he didn't even know about it because he never got the message."

"We can't ask her anymore, but I think that Chelsea would have approved that Justin meets his father, don't you think?" As she smiled at me, she took a load off my mind. I was relieved that she wasn't angry with me anymore that I had made that decision without consulting her.

"Your stupid sense of justice," she said, rolling her eyes. "I should have known that you can't stop playing at fate." She cleared her throat. "What do you think how they can meet each other?"

"I'll leave that up to you," I said, getting up to get my pajamas. "But we have time until tomorrow. You need rest now." I was glad to see her getting up and reaching for her nightgown. It didn't take me long to get ready in the bathroom, but when I got back to the bedroom, Brooke was fallen asleep. Quickly, I slipped next to her, placed my hand gently on her rounded belly and smiled, as I felt one of the babies kicking. "Good night the two of you and sweet dreams," I whispered. It wasn't long before I fell asleep too.

 ** **Brooke's POV****

 **Brooke's house**

 **Three weeks later**

A few weeks had passed since our discussion about Justin's future, and finally we had found a solution. Since we didn't want to overstress him, Julian had suggested that he'll carefully bring father and son together. And so he had taken the boy to the set to introduce him to Tom, who had found an apartment and had moved to Tree Hill in the meantime. I had invited Haley for coffee and cake while Sylvia had preferred to visit my mother; the two wanted to go shopping and then have lunch together. And as for me, I was 34 weeks pregnant and really longing for the birth of the twins. My belly was always and everywhere in the way, and even the most comfortable maternity clothes were too tight now. When it knocked I went slowly to the door and opened it.

"Hi, Hales! Come on in," I greeted my friend and let her enter.

"Finally a girl's day again," Haley said cheerfully. "We haven't had that for a long time."

"Yes, and it will probably be the last," I said with a sigh and pointed to my huge belly. "Next week, they want to remove the 'Cerclage', and then it won't take that long before labor starts."

"Are you okay?" Haley asked worriedly.

"Yes, I'm fine so far. But I can neither sleep properly, nor lie down, nor stand, nor sit, without having twitches or pains," I admitted eye rolling.

"You're almost through with it," Haley said smiling and went over to the table. "Did you make the cake?"

I shook my head. "Sylvia made it."

"Where's your mother-in-law now?" Haley asked curiously and sat down.

"She met my mother for shopping." I flopped down on one of the chairs and reached for the teapot. "You can't imagine how much I would like to do that again," I sighed. "I've been stuck here for months."

"Have you finished setting up the nursery?"

I nodded. "Julian and Sylvia did that. I was only allowed to watch. But I must confess that I couldn't have done it better. The walls are painted in green and blue, the curtains are green, and then they hung up pictures on the wall. In addition, they set up the baby cribs and the changing table."

"Sounds good." Haley nodded. "I'll take a look at it later. You said on the phone that you wanted to tell me something. What is it about?" She asked curiously.

I took a piece of cake before answering. "You know that Julian and I thought about how to introduce Justin to his father. Well, today is the big day for them to get to know each other."

"It's going to be exciting for them," Haley said, taking a piece of the cake as well. "You have to tell me how it was."

I nodded. "Julian took him to the set today. There they should be introduced to each other. He doesn't want to tell the boy that Tom is his father. But at least they get the chance to 'sniff at each other'."

"I think it's great that you do that. Not all adoptive parents would be willing to do that for their child."

"I didn't like the thought at first," I admitted. "But Julian convinced me that it's important for Justin to know who his real father is. And the sooner he finds out, the better."

"How is it going with Julian's new TV show?" Haley asked, changing the subject.

"It's making progress," I informed her. "In a few days they will fly to Hawaii to shoot a wedding scene."

"Who is getting married?" Haley asked curiously, sinking her fork into the soft cake.

"Brooke and Julian," I said, grinning. "It was Paul's idea to add this part to the script. I think he never really got over the fact that his only son got married in Las Vegas."

"Didn't you also have plans to marry again, I mean in a church and with guests and family?" Haley asked frowning.

"Yes, we wanted to get married properly someday," I confirmed with a sigh. "But until now we couldn't find the time. First Chelsea died, then there was the adoption, and then I got pregnant. And I'm not sure we'll find time when the twins are born."

"Postponed is not abandoned. Do you already have names for them?" She changed the subject again and pointed to my belly.

I nodded. "Yes, but we will keep it a secret," I said with a grin. "Let yourself be surprised. If the decision had been Julian's, we still wouldn't know that we are having twin boys. He wanted to be surprised. But I was just too curious."

Haley scraped the remaining cake from the plate and then got up. "Didn't you want to show me the nursery?"

"Yes, I wanted to show you." I slowly got up and then kneaded my aching lower back. "I need a change of position anyway. Even just sitting is painful."

"Just a few more weeks, Brooke," Haley said, looking sympathetically at me.

I nodded and then walked her over to the nursery to show her the furnishings.

 ** **Julian's POV****

 **On the set**

"Aren't we going to kindergarten today?"

Justin looked questioningly at me with his big brown eyes, and I wondered what I could answer. Of course he had expected me to drop him off at the kindergarten before I drove on to the set. I've always done that the last few weeks. And for children in Justin's age, it wasn't understandable why I had changed his routine today. I crouched in front of him and looked at him with a serious expression. "I'd like to introduce you to someone first," I said, turning to face Tom, who was standing a short distance away, eyeing us with a skeptical look. I gave him a sign that he should come to us, and he actually came slowly closer.

"That's Tom," I introduced him to Justin, who studied him curiously. "Tom is a friend of Aunt Brooke and me," I explained patiently.

"Hi, Tom!"

I glanced quickly at Tom and noticed how helpless and uncomfortable he felt. He hesitantly took Justin's outstretched little hand.

"Hi," He mumbled hoarsely.

"Do you work here?" Justin asked, still eyeing the stranger suspiciously.

"Tom is a cameraman," I intervened when the break became too long for me. "Look over there. There's his camera." I knew Justin loved cameras and he wanted to make a movie himself. As soon as I had finished the sentence, he ran over and looked admiringly at the film camera, which stood on a tripod and towered over him by half a meter.

"Wow, that's cool!" He exclaimed enthusiastically. "And it's taller than me."

I looked at Tom, who had followed us and now had his mouth twisted in a smirk.

"It's just so tall because it's on a tripod," he explained. "Would you like to see through it?"

Justin looked at me questioningly and I nodded in agreement. "Sure, just look through it, if Tom lets you," I said smiling and got a stool so he could stand on it.

"How do you make movies now?" Justin inquired curiously.

"Do you want me to explain it to you?" Tom asked, standing behind the 4-year-old. "Well then, listen," he explained. "You look through the viewfinder, and there is such a lever on the side, which allows you to swivel the camera into any position. If you press the button then, you can record everything you have in front of the lens."

"And the movie is in there then?" Justin asked, his cheeks starting to glow with excitement.

"Something like that," Tom said smiling. "It's a bit more complicated. But you can watch the finished film later in the theater. Have you ever been to the theater?"

Justin shook his head. "What is theater?"

"Like television," I quickly chimed in. "You have already watched movies on DVD. It's similar, except it's on a big screen and the picture is a lot bigger." I spread my arms wide so he could get a sense of what I meant.

"I also want to see a movie," Justin said, looking at me expectantly.

I smiled and tousled his curly hair. "I'll tell you something, when we've finished our TV show, you can join us if we look at the rough draft," I promised.

"Cool!"

I lifted him from the stool. "And now it's time for the kindergarten," I told him. "Go to my director's chair. There is your jacket. Please put it on and wait there for me, okay?"

"Okay. Bye, Tom!"

I watched him smiling as he ran away, then turned to his father. "Hey, that wasn't so bad for a start," I said, patting his shoulder lightly. "The next time you just come with me when I pick him up from kindergarten. And maybe someday you can spend time with him alone."

"I'm really grateful to you and Brooke for doing that for me, but I think it's better if he doesn't find out who I really am," Tom said hesitantly.

"Why not?" I asked, startled. "That's what you wanted when you asked me for the job and moved here, didn't you?"

He nodded hesitantly. "Yes, that was the plan. But I have seen how much he loves you. You're his father now, and I think it would only confuse him when he learns that he suddenly has another father, too. Besides, he obeys when you ask him to do something."

"You think he always obeys?" I asked with a grin. "Not even close. He can also be pretty stubborn sometimes. He's only doing what he wants anyway. He is quite smart for his age."

"He has the stubbornness from Chelsea," Tom remarked, smiling thoughtfully. "She drove me crazy sometimes with her pighead."

"Yes, I remember," I admitted. "She really could be stubborn sometimes. But he clearly inherited your look."

"I thought the other day that I would never had known that I have a son if Chelsea didn't die," he said softly.

"Who knows?" I said with a shrug. "Maybe she would have told him later, and he would have expressed a desire to meet his birth father."

"Or not," Tom interjected. He pointed to the director's chair. "He definitely doesn't have that from me," he said, grinning slightly. "I couldn't sit still for 5 minutes at that age."

"I'll take him to kindergarten now and then come back," I informed him.

Tom nodded. "Thanks again, Julian. I'm really glad that I had the opportunity to meet him."

"Just wait, this is only the beginning," I said with a smirk and then went over to Justin. "Are you ready to go?" I asked him. As he nodded I reached for his hand and together we left the set to drive to the kindergarten.


	35. Chapter 35

**Julian's POV**

When I entered the house in late afternoon, my mother was bustling around and cleaning up the house. She paused for a moment when she saw me and then walked up to me.

"Where is Justin?" She asked, looking around.

"He wanted to play with Jamie. I brought him to Haley," I said, pointing to the bedroom, where the door was closed. "Is Brooke sleeping?"

She nodded. "I'm worried about her, Julian," she said, looking serious. "She said it's nothing, but when I came back from shopping today, she was sitting on the couch clutching her belly. I know that she had experienced that before, that her belly became hard, but this time it took too long. She was completely exhausted afterwards and therefore wanted to go to bed early."

"You had to take her to the hospital," I said, frowning worriedly.

"Yeah, I told her that, but she didn't want to. She said it was way too early and that she would have nearly six weeks left before giving birth."

With a bad feeling, I went to the bedroom and opened the door. I had barely entered the room when I heard Brooke's soft moan coming from the bed. I hurried to her quickly and sat on the edge of the bed. Her face was distorted with pain, and beads of sweat had formed on her forehead and upper lip. My heart skipped a beat. "Why didn't you say anything? How is the interval between the contractions?" I wanted to know. When she grabbed my hand and began to moan again, panic came over me. It was completely out of the question that the babies could be born at home! I had to take her to the hospital as soon as possible! "Mom!" I shouted, while I put Brooke gently in my arms.

"What's wrong?" For a moment she just stood there until she realized what was going on. "I'll call the ambulance," she said, and ran back to call 9-1-1.

"It's too early..." Brooke panted, breathing heavily. "Another... six weeks..."

"It doesn't matter now," I said with a slightly trembling voice. "The babies are ready to be born now."

"No!"

I winced in pain as her fingernails dug into my arm. "Brooke, be reasonable!" I pleaded. "You have to go to the hospital. We can't wait any longer." As she began to sob, I also felt tears stinging in my eyes. "Everything will be fine," I mumbled hoarsely. "I promise."

"The ambulance is on the way. Can I do anything else?"

I looked at my mother and shook my head. "Not right now. Or wait, you could call Haley and let her know that Brooke is in labor and we're on our way to the hospital."

"I'll do this. Anything else?" She inquired, looking anxiously at Brooke.

"Maybe a damp washcloth." I waited for her to come back with the washcloth and then gently wiped the sweat from Brooke's forehead.

"Julian, I... I'm sorry," she stammered.

Confused, I looked at her. "What are you talking about? It's not your fault you got into labor. We can be happy that we even got this far. And when our sons are born, the doctors at the hospital will immediately take care of them." As her hand tightened around mine and she started to gasp, I knew she was in pain again. Nervously, I looked at the alarm clock. Where was the ambulance? I looked down at Brooke and saw her writhing in labor pains. I had often felt helpless in my life, but now seeing my wife suffer like that, was almost too much for me. Tears of despair ran down my cheeks, when I suddenly noticed how my mother approached me.

"Shall I take your place for a while?" She asked softly.

I shook my head. "I can't leave her now," I said in a choked voice.

"You'll see, if you hold the twins in your arms then all the pain is instantly forgotten," she said, forcing a smile.

I nodded, though I was pretty sure we wouldn't hold them right away after birth because they would be too small and fragile. They would be born six weeks early. Finally, when the paramedics and a doctor rushed into the room, I was relieved not to have the responsibility alone. When they put Brooke on a stretcher and brought her outside, I didn't leave her side. Fortunately, the drive to the hospital didn't take long, and when we arrived she was immediately taken to the operating room where they prepared her for the c-section. I couldn't believe my luck that I could actually be there when our twins would be born. I sat on a chair next to Brooke and held her hand while the doctors first removed the 'cerclage' and then performed the c-section. She got a spinal anesthetic, so that she could follow the birth of the twins with full consciousness. When a soft whimpering was heard, I bent down to Brooke and kissed her. "Congratulations," I whispered to her and smiled.

"And here's number two," the doctor said a few minutes later, holding up a tiny newborn baby, that was still covered in blood and slime.

Brooke and I were able to get a glimpse of him before they took our second son to an examination table, where he was meticulously examined, just like his brother a few minutes ago.

"Do you have decided for names for your sons?" The doctor asked curiously.

"Jude and Davis," Brooke replied softly. "And don't ask why we had decided for such unusual names. That's a little complicated to explain."

"No, it's not," I chimed in. "'Jude' is from the Beatles song 'Hey Jude' and 'Davis' was my wife's family name before we got married." I shrugged. "There is this strange tradition in Tree Hill that the first-born get their mother's maiden name," I told the doctor.

"Interesting." He scratched his head thoughtfully. "If the firstborn will be named 'Davis', then we already know which baby will carry that name." He looked at the female doctor who was just taking care of the twins. "The twins will stay in an incubator, until they are stronger," he explained. "We're going to exam them more closely, but right now they're both out of danger."

I looked at Brooke and saw tears in her eyes. "Didn't you hear what the doctor said?" I tried to cheer her up. "They are both doing well."

She nodded and reached for my hand. "Thanks, Julian," she whispered. "Without you I wouldn't have made it."

"And without you, we wouldn't have our two miracles," I replied and kissed her again.

"Mr. Baker?"

I turned to the doctor who was about to put one of the babies into an incubator.

"Do you want to come with me?" She asked. "We're taking your twins to the premature infants ward now. Your wife needs medical treatment anyway."

I looked questioningly at Brooke. "Is it okay for you if I go with them?"

She nodded, smiling. "Yes, just go. Stay with our sons. You can tell me afterwards how they are doing."

I kissed her one last time and then helped the doctor to bring the incubators with the babies to the premature infants ward.


	36. Chapter 36

**Julian's POV**

 **In the hospital**

Brooke slept soundly as I kissed her on the forehead and then left her room. Although I should have been tired, since it was already close to midnight, I only felt restless. Previously, I had called our friends and family and had informed them about the birth of the twins and that mother and babies were well. I paced nervously back and forth in front of the door, when a doctor approached me.

"Mr. Baker? Don't you want to drive home? Your wife will sleep now. The procedure was very exhausting, physically and emotionally. And you should get some rest, too."

I shook my head. "I can't sleep anyway," I said, stroking the stubble on my chin. "Besides, I want to be there when she wakes up."

The doctor smiled. "Understandable. But as I said, your wife will surely sleep for several hours now."

"I'm going to the waiting room," I decided and was about to leave when he spoke to me again.

"I have a better idea," he said thoughtfully. "Come with me."

He made a gesture, and hesitantly I followed him. "Where are we going?" I asked curiously.

"I thought you might want to see your twins," he said, smiling. "Both are still in the incubator and are being artificially ventilated and fed, but their condition is stable. I see no reason why you shouldn't visit them."

With a mixture of fear and nervous anticipation, I followed the doctor to the premature infant ward. He opened a door and let me enter. I looked at him questioningly, and he gave me an encouraging nod.

"Just go in there. If you have any questions, I'm waiting outside."

He stayed outside and left me alone with my worries and fears. Hesitating, I approached the two incubators and first read the name tags, Jude Baker and Davis Baker, before taking a look inside. My stomach tightened and I felt tears welling up in my eyes. They were so small and looked so helpless, with these tubes everywhere. Slowly I stepped between the two and put my hands on the lid of the glass beds. "Hey, guys," I said in a trembling voice. "This is your daddy. Don't be afraid of those weird devices standing around you. You are going to make it. And you know why? Your mom is Brooke Davis, and this woman is the strongest person I've ever met." I paused for a moment and looked down at them before finally turning away and leaving the room. All the time inside of the room I had tried to stay strong. How could they have taken the courage to fight for their lives if I collapsed in front of them? But when I stood outside in the hall, I gave up the fight against the tears. I quickly left the premature ward and headed back to Brooke. I just wanted to be with her now, to feel her vicinity, even though I knew she was asleep and probably wouldn't even know I was with her. I had almost reached her room when I saw Haley approaching me. I didn't need to say much, because she already seemed to recognize how I felt and took me silently in her arms.

"Julian! I came as fast as I could. How are Brooke and the twins?" She asked with concern.

I carefully freed myself from her arms and wiped the tears from my face. "Brooke is fine," I told her, my voice hoarse. "And the twins are also well considering the circumstances that they were six weeks early."

"I don't understand," Haley said, frowning. "I had been with her before. We ate cake and talked and she showed me the nursery." She shook her head. "She was fine when I left."

I remembered Brooke's condition when I had found her in our bedroom. And even then she had refused to go to the hospital. "She was probably already in labor and just didn't want to show it to you," I said softly.

She thought for a moment. "She had back pain," she suddenly remembered. "But she said she had that for a while. I didn't pay much attention, because I had that too, shortly before Jamie's birth." She lowered her head guiltily. "I'm so sorry, Julian! If I had known that she was in labor, I never would have left her alone!"

"Don't blame yourself. We made it in time," I said reassuringly and forced a smile.

"Have you seen the babies?" She asked curiously.

I nodded. "They are so small and fragile, Haley," I said desperately. "I wish I could do something to help them."

"You can." She nodded eagerly. "Ask the doctors what is allowed. I informed myself. There is even the possibility that you can have them with you. 'Kangaroo Care' is the name of the practice holding your baby on your bare chest. They need to feel mom's and dad's heartbeat and their body warmth."

I had to smile involuntarily. "You've been well informed."

"As the future godmother, I also have an obligation to look after their well-being," she explained with a smile. "And as your friend, I'm here to take over your place. You should go home and rest, Julian."

She put a hand on my shoulder and looked at me with a serious, worried face.

"The next few days and weeks are going to be exhausting enough. You'll need a lot of strength and as long as Brooke is asleep, you should rest, too." She smiled. "I told Justin that he had two little brothers, and he's looking forward to meet them. Well, exciting times are coming up for you five."

I looked at her in surprise. It was only then that I realized that Brooke and I were responsible for three children now. "That sounds nice and scary at the same time," I confessed, frowning.

Haley laughed. "It sounds like many sleepless nights. That's why you should sleep as long as you can."

"Okay." I threw my arms defensively in the air. "You won. I'll drive home and try to sleep for a few hours. Are you staying here with Brooke?"

She nodded. "And if she wakes up I'll call you, I promise."

I smiled and then hugged her briefly. "Thanks, Haley!"

"And now go!"

She made a gesture as if she wanted to shoo me away, I turned and walked to the elevator to ride down to the exit.


	37. Chapter 37

**Brooke's POV**

 **At the hospital**

When I awoke, it was already day and the sun was shining through the window. I had no idea how long I had slept. But I could remember that it was dark outside when I was taken to my room after the c-section. I raised my hand and stared at the needle stuck in my arm that was connected to a tube that ended in an infusion bottle. Probably a medication for the pain, I surmised. I turned my head and saw Haley sitting next to me. She seemed to be sleeping, for her eyes were closed and her head lowered. I cleared my throat first, before trying to speak. "Hales?" I whispered in a raspy voice. Immediately she opened her eyes and looked at me disoriented.

"Oh, Brooke! You're finally awake," she said, wiping her eyes. "I've been sitting here for hours and waited. How are you?"

I tried to listen inside my body to answer her question, but there was nothing. I just felt tired and empty. Involuntarily, my hands went to my belly, which was now much flatter than before.

"The babies are doing well," said Haley, smiling. "I met Julian a few hours ago, he told me he visited them."

I nodded. "Where is he?" I asked sleepily.

"He was completely exhausted. I sent him home so he can have some sleep. I promised to call him when you wake up," Haley informed.

I suddenly remembered how Julian had held me in his arms and had comforted me as the labor pains had become unbearable. If he hadn't insisted to bring me to the hospital, I might have delivered our babies at home in our bedroom. I would have put their lives into danger.

"Why didn't you tell me you were in pain?" Haley asked.

"I didn't know they were contractions," I confessed to her softly. "In the beginning it wasn't that bad, but when you left, it got worse."

"I'm glad everything went well," Haley confessed and smiled. "Should I call a doctor and ask if you can visit the twins? You surely can't wait to see them, right?"

She looked at me with that expectant look, and suddenly I felt sick to my stomach. I had seen them briefly after birth, and the sight of these small, fragile creatures had been more than I could bear. I was glad that Julian had been there because I had never been able to. Not physically and not emotionally.

"Brooke?"

I flinched and stared helplessly at Haley. I knew that she expected from me to agree with her suggestion, but I just felt scared.

"I'm looking for the doctor and ask him, okay?"

Before I could stop her, she jumped up from her chair and ran outside. With an anxious throbbing heart I lay in my bed and wished someone would come and pull the curtains. The sun shone mercilessly through the window, causing me a headache. I didn't have to wait long for Haley to come back. But she wasn't alone. A nurse accompanied her, who now parked a wheelchair in front of my bed and smiled at me.

"I'll help you into the wheelchair and then we drive over to the premature infants ward. I asked the doctor and he gave me his consent."

I practically couldn't do anything about it when they grabbed me, put me in the seat of the wheelchair and shoved me to the neonatal ward. Everything around me felt so unreal, and the thought of seeing my sons was a more depressing one than a joy. When Haley said goodbye to me outside and the nurse shoved me into the room where the twins were lying in their incubators, I gasped in shock. There were medical devices everywhere and tubes stuck in the small bodies to keep them alive. I wanted to yell at the nurse for bringing me back to my room, but no sound came from my lips. Tears of despair were running down my cheeks, and I wished Julian was here with me. He would have known what to do. Anxiously, I stared down at my babies, waiting for the overflowing happiness each mother felt when she saw her baby for the first time. But I felt nothing, only emptiness inside. I quickly turned away.

"For many parents, it's a shock when they see their newborns the first time," said the doctor who had just entered the room. "But you get used to the sight and after the first time you held the babies in your arms, it's not that bad anymore."

I looked at her with wide open eyes. She didn't really expect from me to touch them, did she? The mere sight was hard to bear. "I... I want to go back to my room," I said in a slightly trembling voice. She looked at me for a moment thoughtfully before she nodded.

"All right, I'll bring you back. Maybe the next time you visit the twins with your husband. It's often easier when another parent is around," she said, smiling.

Haley had been waiting outside the whole time.

"How was the feeling to see the babies for the first time and realize that they belong to you forever?" She asked, smiling.

My stomach clenched as I stared at her blankly. What should I answer her? Instinctively, I sensed that what I was feeling wasn't what she wanted to hear. "Can you call Julian?" I asked her faintly. She looked at me with that weird look and I lowered my head.

"The delivery was very exhausting," the doctor said. "Mrs. Baker needs rest now. "

Haley bent down and hugged me briefly. "I'll go and call Julian," she promised, giving me a compassionate look before leaving.

Thoughtfully, I looked after her and then let the doctor bring me back to my room. She helped me back to bed and pulled the curtains.

"Rest now. The next time you'll wake up, the world looks a bit rosier," she said and squeezed my hand again before leaving me alone.

I rolled onto my side and closed my eyes. Rest and peace, that was what I needed to become my old self again. I tried to envision what it would be like to hold the fragile bodies of my sons in my arms and suddenly I noticed that I couldn't breath anymore. Full of panic, I reached for the call button and was relieved when the nurse entered the room. "I... can't... breathe," I blurted as I struggled for air. The nurse recognized immediately what was wrong with me, because she handed me a paper bag and asked me to take a few deep breaths.

"Are you feeling better now?" She asked worriedly.

I nodded as I realized I could breathe easier again. "What... what was that?" I stammered, looking at her questioningly.

"You had a panic attack," the nurse said. "But now it's over. Lie down and try to sleep."

As she turned away to leave the room, the thought that she was leaving me alone was so scary that I took hold of her arm. "Please, stay!" I begged.

"I'll give you a light tranquilizer," she said reassuringly. "Then you feel calmer and can sleep better too."

She was giving me a sedative by drip, and I was beginning to notice that I was slowly getting calmer and that my heart beat slowed down again. When she finally left I was so relaxed that I felt too tired to care. I closed my eyes and fell asleep immediately.


	38. Chapter 38

**Julian's POV**

 **In the hospital**

Haley's remarks on the phone about Brooke's condition had already worried me, but when I arrived at the hospital and the doctor immediately took me aside before I could even see her, the worry became real fear. Something was wrong. Otherwise he wouldn't have asked me for a private talk. With soft knees and wet hands, I entered the doctor's office and sat down on a chair.

"First of all, I want to tell you that the twins are doing well," the doctor started. "They are stable and artificially nourished and ventilated. So far, everything is fine. I asked you for a private talk because I'm worried about your wife." He took a deep breath before continuing. "Her behavior towards the babies gives reason to believe that your wife suffers from a so-called 'postnatal depression'."

I looked at the doctor with a frown. "What exactly does that mean?" I asked.

"It's a form of depression that often occurs after birth. Especially women who have a difficult and complicated pregnancy and childbirth suffer from that, as was the case with your wife."

"How are the symptoms?" I asked concerned.

"Well, many women are exhausted and sleep badly, some suffer from anxiety and panic attacks, are nervous, sad and feel empty," he listed. "Many lack the connection to their newborns, or they reject them completely."

I had listened to all this and wondered what Brooke was suffering from. Because it was clear that he hadn't told me this for fun. As if he had guessed my thoughts, he continued talking.

"We were with your wife at the premature infant ward, so she could see and maybe even touch her babies. But she refused strictly and asked us to bring her back," he said. "She couldn't even stand the sight of her own babies. We brought her back, and when she was alone in her room, she had a panic attack."

I gazed at the doctor with a stunned look. Did he really speak of Brooke, the tough Brooke, who had coped with so many complicated situations in her life?

"You look at me as if you didn't believe me," the doctor said.

I shook my head mechanically. "Are you saying Brooke rejects her own babies?"

The doctor nodded slowly. "That's what I wanted to say," he confirmed. "There is often a trigger why women suffer from this form of depression."

"She has no reason to reject the twins," I blurted out. "Do you know how long we had been waiting and what we had endured to become parents?" I ran in a nervous gesture through my hair. "You have the medical file in front of you. You know what Brooke went through and she didn't want anything more than to become a mother! And now you want to tell me that she doesn't want her own children?" I had not noticed that I had jumped up when the doctor came around his desk and placed his hand on my shoulder.

"I can imagine how terrible this thought must be for you, Mr. Baker," he said sympathetically. "But your wife is ill, and she suffers for being unable to accept or even love her own children. And that's why it's especially important that you are there for the twins," he continued. "They must feel that they are loved."

I turned away, suddenly aware of tears coming into my eyes. That was all a nightmare! Only that there was no awakening. "What... what can I do?" I asked in a muffled voice.

"You should support your wife. Listen to her fears and worries and don't judge her," he said calmly. "We'll give her tranquilizers. But that alone is not enough. We strongly recommend that she gets psychotherapy. We have very good psychologists here in the hospital who are specialized in postnatal depression. And as for the babies," he continued," there is the possibility of 'kangarooing', which means the premature babies are placed naked on the bare chest. This form of physical closeness is especially important because the babies need the warm body temperature and can also listen to the heartbeat of their parents."

"I'll do anything to help," I said softly.

The doctor smiled. "That's good. Let us know when you have the time. A session with the newborns takes about 20-30 minutes. After that they have to go back to the incubator."

I nodded. "Can I see my wife now?"

"Come, I'll bring you to her," the doctor said and headed for the door. "But be prepared that she doesn't react in the way as usual."

With an oppressive feeling in my stomach, I followed the doctor and then entered Brooke's room. The first thing I noticed were the curtains that prevented daylight from infiltrating. Brooke lay on her side in her bed, eyes closed. Hesitantly, I moved closer until I reached the bed. Apparently I hadn't been quiet enough, because she suddenly opened her eyes and reached out to me.

"Julian?"

"Yeah, I..." I couldn't get any further when she grabbed my arm and pulled me towards her.

"Please don't leave me!"

I remembered what the doctor had said about her behavior being odd. And when I sat down on the edge of the bed and she wrapped her arms tightly around me and began to sob helplessly, I simply held her in my arms, rocking her like a baby. I had thought that with the birth of the twins a difficult phase would end. But as it seemed now the struggle had just begun. "It's going to be okay," I mumbled, stroking her head gently. I hoped so much at that moment that I would be right.


	39. Chapter 39

****Brooke's POV****

 **Four weeks later**

I completely had lost all sense of time, which may have been because I hadn't done anything for weeks than lying in bed or staying on my couch. Mostly I slept because I couldn't even get up to watch a movie. Every day was the same. I usually saw Julian late at night, and then he was so tired that he fell asleep immediately. For several weeks he had been commuting daily between the set and the hospital to be with the twins. He did what I should have done as their mother. But although I should have had a guilty conscience about that, I didn't feel anything. On doctor's recommendation, I had begun psychotherapy, in addition to the medications I had to take regularly for a few weeks. But the therapist's questions were more annoying than they really helped. What bothered me the most was that she questioned my relationship with Julian. She had pestered me with questions like if I had forgiven him, that he had left me back then and how my feelings for him had been, and whether I would believe that we would have a happy marriage. As if that had something to do with the fact that I couldn't love the twins! I didn't know why I felt that way or what was wrong with me. And it didn't help that I knew that I was suffering from a 'postnatal depression'. And surely it hadn't been wise to just get up and just leave the treatment room where the therapy had taken place. But I couldn't have stayed longer with her. I was on the verge of punching her. Also, something that showed that I wasn't myself at the moment. I did a lot of weird things that scared me, but there was one thing I knew for certain; I loved Julian and hoped that one day, with his help, I would get better. The pondering had exhausted me and I closed my eyes, pulling the blanket up to the tip of my nose. I wasn't quite asleep when I heard voices in the hallway...

 _"You're late today, Julian. The dinner is cold now."_

 _"I'm sorry, Mom. They called from the hospital and said I should come quickly."_

 _"Is something wrong with the twins?"_

 _"Jude had breathing problems. It was probably too early that they took him from artificial respiration."_

 _"Oh, no! I'm so sorry, Julian! What did the doctor say is wrong with him?"_

 _"He was lighter than Davis from the beginning and had bigger adaptive difficulties. He isn't developing too well. The doctors want to do more tests to find out why. They say his little heart is still too weak and the lungs aren't fully developed."_

 _"Does that mean he could... die?"_

My stomach suddenly clenched and I struggled for air. My baby was sick, was all that suddenly crossed my mind. He might die! I pushed back the blanket and got out of bed. When I opened the door and stepped into the living room, I saw them both turning their heads towards me and looking at me in shock.

"Brooke, my Dear! Did we wake you up?" Sylvia asked worriedly.

I didn't respond but looked at Julian, in whose eyes tears were swimming. "Will... will my... baby die?" I managed to utter haltingly. I didn't know why they both suddenly looked at me with that weird look. But I wanted to know the truth. "Julian?"

"I don't know," he said in a hoarse voice, lowering his head. "Go back to bed, Brooke."

I looked at him as if he had lost his mind. My baby was in mortal danger, and I should go to bed and sleep? "No!"

"It's late," Sylvia said. "You should rest."

I didn't know where this sudden desire came to want to see my baby. "I want to go to the hospital!" I said determinedly.

"Nobody will let us inside the premature ward," Julian replied. "The visiting times are over."

I went up to him and clawed my fingers into his shirt. "Please!" I pleaded as I noticed to my great surprise how tears were running down my cheeks. I couldn't remember the last time I had cried. But as much as it surprised me, it felt good.

Julian nodded hesitantly. "Okay, fine. Put some clothes on and we'll go to the hospital again."

I was a nervous wreck when we finally arrived at the hospital. Julian spoke with the attending physician and asked him to make an exception, so that we could see the babies again. And though I was afraid, this time a different feeling prevailed; a feeling that was completely new to me. Julian had his arm around my waist and hugged me as we entered the room where the incubators stood. I remembered how panic-stricken I had reacted the first time I had seen them. And I was glad that Julian was at my side this time. The sight of my helpless baby almost broke my heart. He was connected to a heart monitor and there were tubes in his nose, arms, and chest. Tears were running down my cheeks as I reluctantly put my hand on the lid of the incubator.

"Would you like to touch him?" The doctor asked, opening the small side window.

I looked questioningly at Julian and when he took my hand and guided it through the window, I held my breath for a moment. Carefully he took Jude's tiny hand and put it in mine. It was the first time I touched my son since he was born four weeks ago. "Don't give up," I said in a trembling voice as I stroked his little hand. "You can do this. Mommy and Daddy love you." I looked up at Julian and saw tears in his eyes.

"I think it's enough for today," the doctor said gently.

I released Jude's hand and closed the side window. One last time I looked down at him before going to the other incubator where my second son lay. Davis was, unlike his brother, completely without tubes, could obviously breathe independently and was also no longer on drip-feed.

"We really have to go now," urged the doctor. "I already made an exception anyway. If you want you can come back tomorrow morning."

"Can we?" I asked, looking at Julian.

He nodded, smiling. "I'll call my father and tell him that I will come later to work."

We had left the premature ward, and the doctor had already said goodbye when Julian suddenly pulled me into his arms and kissed me.

I looked at him in surprise when he had finished the kiss. "What was that for?" I asked, frowning.

"You made it, Brooke," he said, smiling. "And I had almost given up hope that you would ever love our babies."

"No." I shook my head. "Not I made it, we made it," I corrected. "Without your help and love I couldn't have done it. And our sons neither," I added softly.

"Everything will be okay from now on."

As he hugged me, I snuggled against him and rested my head against his chest. "Yes," I mumbled softly. "Now everything will be okay."

 ** **Brooke's POV****

 **Another four weeks later**

I couldn't believe how fast another month had passed. The twins were already eight weeks old and strong enough to be taken home. Even Jude had recovered and caught up, although he still weighed a bit less than Davis. The doctors had also given their okay, that he could be released home. And I felt better every day. I really seemed to have overcome my depression. It was probably the shock that I could lose my baby, which helped me to overcome my illness. At least that's what my psychologist had explained to me. I had promised to go the sessions at least once a week to avoid a relapse. Altogether, I was almost the 'old' Brooke again. And now Julian and I were standing in the premature ward with two baby car seats, ready to prepare our sons for the drive home.

"Thanks for all you have done!" I held out my hand to the doctor and smiled.

"We couldn't have done that without your help," he said, returning the handshake.

I watched as Julian picked up the babies and put them in the car seat and suddenly remembered how I had sat with him in the nursery of the hospital and each one of us had a twin lying on our bare chests. The 'kangaroo care' had been good for them and also for Julian and me, because the shared care had strengthened our relationship. My God, how much I loved him! And now that I'm feeling better again, I'd show him how much.

"Brooke? Is everything okay? "

I blinked twice. I hadn't realized that I had been staring at him all the time. "Yes... yes, sure," I stammered. "Let's go."

The drive home was a totally new experience for us, with two babies in the backseat, who were fast asleep. I looked at Julian and smiled. He once had told me that happiness was a condition and not a destination. Something that you would feel for a brief moment and then it would be gone again. Being here with Julian and our sons made me incredibly happy right now. The ride was over too fast and when we parked in front of the house, Julian jumped out of the car before I even could unbuckle.

"I'll just bring the twins inside and then you can follow later," he said, opening the back door to take the twins.

"I can help you," I offered my help.

"No, stay were you are. I'll do it. Wait here a little longer.

His behavior was odd. But before I could ponder further, he bent forward and kissed me.

"Stay here," he repeated again, took the twins and carried them into the house.

I stayed in the car and waited until the time was too long. When he was still not back after 10 minutes, I've had enough. Did he forget me? Annoyed, I got out of the car and walked to the front door. I was just about to open it when the door opened as if by magic. Slightly confused, I pushed it open and then stood rooted to the spot.

"Surprise!"

All our friends and family members had gathered in our living room and beamed towards me with happiness. When Haley approached me with a grin and then took me in her arms, I awoke from my stiffness.

"Well, surprise accomplished," she said with a smile. "We all thought that since you didn't have a baby shower party, you and the twins should at least have a welcome party."

"Oh, Hales!" Tears filled my eyes as I hugged her once more. "What a great surprise!" I looked at Julian, who stood there with a big smile. "And you knew about it?"

"I even helped," he said proudly. "It wasn't that easy to prepare everything without you knowing it," he confessed.

I looked around. Paper garlands were hanging everywhere in the room, and balloons floated on the ceiling. Even food was prepared in the kitchen for the guests.

Peyton came up to me. "We just had two hours to decorate everything and make the food," she said mischievously grinning. "That wasn't long. Luckily we were in contact with Julian the whole time. So he could then tell us when you would start from the hospital."

"We should make a toast," I said and went to the counter in the kitchen and got three glasses, which I filled with champagne.

"Um... do you also have non-alcoholic sparkling wine?" Haley asked and grinned sheepishly.

I frowned in confusion. "No, why?"

"Just an orange juice for me, please," Peyton cut in.

I looked confused back and forth between the two of them. "When did you stop drinking alcohol?" I asked with a frown. I saw both exchanging meaningful glances.

"Since we're pregnant," both said in unison.

I stood there, thunderstruck. "Pregnant?!" I echoed perplexed, before I realized the deeper meaning of that statement. "Oh my God! You are _both_ pregnant!?"

Haley nodded, laughing. "Yes, can you imagine? A few days after you had given birth to the twins I suddenly had these cravings and had felt sick. Besides, my breasts had become huge." She rolled her eyes. "I still had the remaining pregnancy tests. So I took one, and what can I say, it turned out to be positive!"

"Why didn't you say anything?" I muttered.

"You felt so bad after the delivery of the twins. I didn't want to burden you with my problems," she admitted.

I hugged her spontaneously. "I'm so sorry! I've been a terrible friend for the last few weeks."

"You were sick, Brooke. Don't blame yourself. But I think if I had told you, you probably wouldn't have cared. That's why I wanted to wait a little longer before telling you. "

I nodded and then looked at Peyton. "And since when do you know you're pregnant?"

"Since the weekend," she confessed. "It's still fresh, so to speak. And not many people know about it yet. Haley and you are the only ones besides Lucas and me, of course."

"I'm so happy for you and Lucas!" I hugged her. "Then there are two events to celebrate this year."

"Next year," Haley corrected with a smile. "You forget that we will have Christmas soon and then New Year."

I took three new glasses and filled them with orange juice. "To our friendship and more offspring in Tree Hill!" I said solemnly and then clinked glasses with my best friends.


	40. Chapter 40

****Brooke's POV****

 **Brooke's and Julian's house**

 **One year later**

Unbelievable, how fast the time had passed by. It was the 17th of November, the day the twins were born a year ago. Today was their first birthday, and I had invited my friends and their children for coffee and cake in the afternoon to celebrate the big event with them. I had planned to celebrate twice because otherwise it would have become too turbulent. Because Haley and Peyton had also got their babies. Lydia, Haley's daughter, was four, Sawyer, Peyton's little girl, two months old. And of course Jamie was invited as well. A guest especially expected from Justin because they were still inseparable. Sylvia had helped me with the cake baking and setting the table and then had driven to my mother. No idea what they were doing, but I guessed it was a surprise for the twins. Julian had called from work that it would be later. He was busy with a new film project, even though the 'Ravens' series was still very successful on television. We had moved to the Norris' house, Julian's parents' house. Sylvia had bought it, but Julian had insisted on paying the costs. We had been living there for six months and enjoyed having more space available than in my old house. Even though Jude and Davis still shared a nursery, they would eventually get older and be happy to have more space then. Just as happy as Julian and me, because we too had our own offices. With my mother together, I had started 'Baker Man', a clothing line for boys and fathers, and even had opened a store in town that also was very successful. Everything was perfect and I was very happy except for one thing; I longed for a little daughter. Since Lydia and Sawyer were born, the desire had even grown bigger. And even though I loved the twins and Justin and would never give them away anymore, something was missing in my life. I had no time to brood over it when the first guests arrived.

"Hey!" I greeted my friends, Haley and Peyton, and let them enter. "You can put your baby girls down there on the sofa. And you, Jamie can go upstairs to Justin right away. He's already waiting for you." I nodded to him and laughed as he ran quickly up the stairs.

"Phew, there he goes," Haley said with a grin. "Come here and let me hug you!"

I hugged her and then looked at Peyton, who had sat down on the sofa and held Sawyer in her arms. "Sorry, but I didn't have the time to breastfeed her before." She grinned. "I'll do it quickly."

"No problem. Take your time," I said, looking at Haley. "How are you and your baby girl?"

"We have a lot of sleepless nights right now," she sighed. "I think she is teething. But during the day she sleeps like a stone." She frowned at her daughter, who was sleeping peacefully in her Maxi-Cosi.

"Yes, I can remember those times." I pointed upwards. "I'll get the twins. Otherwise they will oversleep their birthday."

"Let them sleep," Peyton said quickly as she watched Sawyer drink at her breast. "We can use the time to talk a little. It's been so long since I've had a really civilized conversation."

Haley laughed. "With 'civilized' you certainly don't mean the baby topic, right?"

"But that's exactly what I mean," she admitted sheepishly. "Brooke and you have a lot of experience. I've only been a mother for about eight weeks and I'm desperate because I still don't know why she's crying."

"Give it some time," I reassured her. "Believe me, even after a year, I'm not a 'perfect' mother. I think you will never be perfect. But at least the nights have become more bearable now. The first months were terrible. They took turns with waking and screaming, Julian even threatened to give them up for adoption."

"Yeah, I remember you telling that," Peyton said with a chuckle. "But I hardly believe he really would have done it. He loves his sons like crazy. "

I nodded. "Yes, he does," I admitted. "And I'm sure he would be just as fond of a little daughter." I couldn't explain why both suddenly stared at me oddly, until Haley started to talk.

"Does that mean you're pregnant again!" She exclaimed in disbelief.

I glanced quickly at Peyton, who looked just as shocked. "Oh no, I'm not pregnant," I hurried to say. "Not yet at least."

Of course, Haley had to pick up on my remark.

"Not yet?" She repeated. "Are you implying that you and Julian are practicing again to have another baby?"

I felt my cheeks heat up. Why couldn't I shut my mouth? If I told them about my desire for a girl, they would think I was crazy anyway. Besides, it was completely impossible to predetermine the gender. But it was true that I couldn't think of another thing right now, although I should be happy with what I already had; namely the twins and Justin. But I also knew that Julian felt the same way, though he would never admit it. We both knew how risky another pregnancy would be. And yet I had seen his shining eyes when he first had held the babies of my friends in his arms. And so he had spontaneously agreed to take over the sponsorship for the little Sawyer. Haley had asked me before, so we were both godparents now. My silence had probably been too long, because Haley grabbed my arm.

"Brooke, you know how crazy that is, right?" She gasped. "Did you forget what you went through during your pregnancy with the twins?"

I nodded. Of course I knew it, and yes, it was crazy, but I couldn't suppress my feelings. But first I had to convince Julian. "That was just a hypothetical consideration," I said, forcing a smile. "We are not practicing for another baby." I looked up. "I think it's time to wake up the twins from their nap," I said and turned to the stairs.

"Wait, I'm coming with you!"

Haley ran after me and together we entered the nursery, where my sons lay peacefully sleeping in their cribs.

"Like two little angels," she said, sighing softly.

I laughed. "Yes, when they sleep. But wait until I 'release' them. Jude crawls like a world champion and Davis pulls himself up everywhere and takes his first steps. We have locked all the stairs with fences, because he even tried to crawl up the stairs. I tell you, the playpen was the best purchase we ever made for the twins."

Haley laughed. "Yes, I know that from Jamie. Once they're able to walk, nothing is safe from them."

"Speaking of Jamie..." I looked through the open door to the room across the hall, Justin's room. "It's so quiet in there. Do you think we should have a look?"

Haley nodded and walked to the door, opening it quietly. Smiling, she turned to me and gestured to me that I should be quiet. I looked through the crack of the door and saw both boys squatting on the floor, playing with Justin's Lego bricks. "Let's not disturb them," I whispered, closing the door quietly behind me.

"Let's get the twins, then we'll go down and have some coffee and cake," Haley suggested. "I'm really hungry now."

I nodded, smiling, and together we went back to the nursery to wake up the twins.


	41. Chapter 41

**Brooke's POV**

 **Brooke's and Julian's house**

 **Six months later**

It was quite different this time than the last two times when I had read the positive result on the pregnancy test. The first time I had reacted with shock, the second time with fear and despair. This time it was pure happiness that I felt. I now knew what was coming, and I had my family and friends who would support me. Also the age gap to the twins was optimal. If it was a girl now, my joy would be perfect. I put the test on the edge of the sink, washed my hands and looked in the mirror. I knew I needed to dry my eyes before I stepped out the door. Sylvia would immediately suspect that something was wrong. But unlike the last few times, it was tears of joy and not of despair. I quickly washed my face, dried it, and then pushed the latch back.

"Gosh, Brooke, what took you so long?"

I felt my cheeks begin to glow under Sylvia's scrutiny. As she came closer and looked at me even more intensely, I quickly lowered my head. But not only did she have eagle eyes, she also felt instinctively when something was wrong.

"Were you crying?"

"I... no," I stammered. "That's just... hay fever," I lied. Luckily we had spring and not winter, otherwise she never would have believed my white lie.

"Hm... okay." She pointed to the closed bathroom door. "Is the bathroom free now?"

I nodded, lost in thought, and stepped aside to let her enter. But as soon as she had closed the door, I remembered, what I had forgotten in there. But now it was too late to remove the pregnancy test unnoticed. I quickly turned to warn her when I heard the lock snap shut. Involuntarily I held my breath and listened. But as hard as I tried, I couldn't hear a sound. Carefully, I knocked as the waiting became too long for me. "Sylvia?" I called in a slightly trembling voice. "Everything okay?" It took a moment before she finally pushed the latch and stepped out of the bathroom. In her hand she held my positive pregnancy test. I wanted to apologize when she embraced me.

"Oh Brooke! Why didn't you want to tell me that you're pregnant again?" She asked softly. "I already suspected it all the time anyway."

I looked at her stunned. "You suspected it...?" I stuttered.

She nodded. "I have eyes in my head," she said with a smile. "Your dislike of certain smells, the moodiness, the constant fatigue. It was the same with the twins at the time."

Had it been that obvious? Suddenly a terrible thought crossed my mind. "What about Julian? Does he also suspect that I'm pregnant?"

She shook her head. "No, my son is blind, so to speak, when it comes to things like that," she smirked. "But we women just have a feel for it." She gave me the test back. "By the way, I also told your mom about that."

"Mom knows it?" I asked in disbelief. When she nodded, I continued to probe. "Who else knows about it?"

"Peyton and Haley," she admitted, grinning. "Oh, and the kindergarten teacher. But Haley was the first who noticed it. She said you don't like her cookies anymore."

I rolled my eyes. Those damn cookies were to blame that half of Tree Hill knew I was pregnant again! Only one person didn't know it yet. And I had to change that immediately. "Can you look after the twins?" I asked, turning to my mother-in-law.

She nodded, then frowned. "Of course. What are you going to do?" She asked curiously.

"I'm going to the movie set," I said determinedly, reaching for my car key. "If everyone already knows, it's time for Julian to know as well." I started to go to the front door when Sylvia stopped me.

"Brooke, wait! I have something for you," she said and disappeared, then came back with a small package. "Here, give that to Julian."

Confused, I stared at the package, which was decorated with a white bow. "What's that?" I asked with a frown.

"Well, I thought it might be a bit more romantic than a pregnancy test," she replied, grinning mysteriously.

I held the package to my ear and shook it carefully. "Are you going to tell me what's in there?"

"These are two pacifiers," she then revealed her secret. "One in pink and one in blue. You still don't know what it's going to be this time. And so it's for both genders."

"How... I mean... when did you...?" I stammered, but I couldn't get any further.

"You mean, when I put it together? Just a few days ago. Well, actually it was the idea of Peyton and Haley," she confessed. "They said that it would be nicer if Julian had something to unpack while you tell him the big news."

"What would have happened if you had packed this up in vain?" I asked slowly.

"Haley was one hundred percent sure that you're pregnant again after you nearly vomited after eating her cookies." She grinned. "And she was right, wasn't she?"

I nodded uneasily and stared at the package. "Okay, I'll thank her later," I said quietly. "Now I have to go to Julian."

"Good luck!"

I was pretty nervous when I arrived on the set. I had put the package in my pocket and was now thinking about what I could say while giving it to him. It was just before end of work, and the last crew members finished and packed their things together. I looked around, but I couldn't find Julian anywhere. Suddenly Tom crossed my path.

"Hey Brooke! How are you?" He asked smiling.

I frowned in confusion. "Good. Thanks for asking. And what about you?" As he approached me and bent towards me, I backed away a bit.

"I mean, it's not official yet, but may I say 'Congratulations'?" He whispered in my ear.

I looked at him, stunned. "For what?" I asked unnecessarily, because of course I knew what he was referring to. Wasn't there anyone here who didn't know about my pregnancy? That was scary. "How do you know?" I whispered back.

"Sylvia hinted at it the last time I was there to pick up Justin," he confessed. "But don't worry, I haven't told anyone yet." He pointed to the back. "You're here to make it official, right?" He asked with a grin.

I nodded, perplexed. "But maybe this is a bad time," I decided spontaneously and turned away to leave.

"Brooke?!"

Slowly, I closed my eyes and turned in the direction the voice had come from. "Julian..." Nervously, I smiled at him. My knees felt soft and my brain was empty. I didn't even know what I wanted here. I only vaguely noticed how Tom patted me on the shoulder encouragingly.

"Okay, I'll leave you two alone then", he said with a grin and then went on towards the exit.

"Brooke, what are you doing here? Did something happen?"

It seemed like I suddenly had lost my voice too. Nervously, I fumbled at my bag and then took out the small package. I noticed him frowning at me and quickly handed him my gift. "That... that's for you," I stuttered, waiting tensely for his reaction. I could almost see what he was feeling at the moment he unpacked it.

"Oh no! Not twins again!" He gasped.

He turned pale and looked at me with a shocked expression. What a macabre misunderstanding! But of course he had to assume that it was twins again with two pacifiers. "No, not twins," I tried to reassure him. "I haven't even been to the doctor. I did the test just a few hours ago. And it turned out positive." I looked at him shyly. "Are you happy about it?" I asked softly.

As he lifted me up and laughed, I knew it was the right decision to take that risk again. And with a little luck my wish would be fulfilled. When he put me down, I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him. For a while we just hugged and kissed each other until Julian took a step back.

"How much time do we have?"

"What do you mean?" I asked, looking at him in confusion.

"Until the birth," he specified. "Well, I don't mean exactly the date, just a rough time frame."

I considered. "Well, if all goes well this time then maybe six or seven months?"

"That's enough." He nodded firmly.

"For what?" I didn't understand his remark until he kneeled in front of me. With my eyes wide open, I stared down at him, waiting nervously for what he would say.

"Will you marry me again, Brooke Davis Baker? This time in church with all our friends and families?"

I didn't have to think about it, because that would fulfill my second wish. "I love you and I want nothing more than to marry you again!" I blurted and then wrapped my arms around his neck again and kissed him. When the lights suddenly went out, we pulled away and laughed.

"I think that's the sign that we should go home," Julian smirked.

"Yes, let's go home and tell everyone what's going to happen next at the Baker house," I said with a smile and snuggled up to him. He put his arm around my waist and together we left the set.


	42. Chapter 42

**Brooke's POV**

 **Haley's house**

 **Three months later**

Although I had thought that we would have endless time, the wedding day had come faster than expected. This time everyone would be there to celebrate this special day with Julian and me. Haley and Peyton had helped me with the fitting of my wedding dress, had put make-up on me and had done my hair. Now I stood in front of the large mirror in Haley's bedroom and looked at my reflection. I hadn't been showing at my first fitting, but now one could clearly see that I was pregnant. Fortunately, the wedding dress wasn't close-fitting and it was cut wider under my breasts which concealed my visible baby bump. I turned to one side and placed my hands over the soft curve. We still didn't know what it was this time, and I couldn't wait for the next ultrasound session, hoping that our baby would reveal its gender. At least we already knew that it was only one baby this time.

"Are you ready?"

Haley had stepped behind me unnoticed and smiled at my reflection. "Oh Brooke, you look so beautiful!" She said, wiping a tear from her eye.

"Hey, if you start crying, then I'm also going to cry," I said reproachfully. "Then I'll ruin my make-up, and we have to do everything again."

"But it's true. You have never looked more beautiful. Julian will instantly fall in love with you again," she said, grinning.

I put a hand on my chest and took a deep breath. "I don't know why I'm nervous. I mean, we're already married. Nothing can go wrong."

"What should go wrong?" Haley asked, frowning.

"Well, isn't it that at every wedding something unexpected is happening?" I said.

"That's bullshit!" She grimaced. "You watch too many movies."

"That's Julian's fault," I said, sighing. "Just recently, I watched a movie with him, where the bride went into labor right in front of the altar. And then she had to deliver the baby in the church."

Haley rolled her eyes. "You're 5 months pregnant, Brooke. Very unlikely that the baby is coming now."

"Yes, I think so, too. But in another movie I've seen the groom..."

"Stop it!" Haley said resolutely. "From now on you are banned from watching movies. This pessimism is nerve-racking!"

"I'm just nervous, Hales," I confessed, taking a deep breath. "And I was so looking forward to this moment. But when I'm walking to the altar and all eyes are on me, I can't afford to make a mistake."

"Fine, enough of it. We have to go now anyway. Otherwise you'll miss your own wedding, and that would be really embarrassing."

I was just looking at myself in the mirror one last time when Peyton entered the room.

"Hey, you forgot the most important thing," she said, grinning, holding a blue garter up in the air. "You know the custom, right?"

"Something new, something old, something borrowed and something blue," I mumbled.

"Exactly." She nodded eagerly. "And here is a garter in blue. Your wedding dress is new, and the earrings are from your mother, right?"

I nodded. "I didn't know you were so traditional, Peyton," I said with a smile and lifted my dress up to my thigh so she could slip on the garter.

"Just as traditional as I named my daughter after me," she replied with a chuckle. "Right, Hales? It's just part of the tradition of getting married in Tree Hill."

Haley nodded. "Now there is still something old missing," she said thoughtfully.

Suddenly I remembered something. "I still have my engagement ring," I explained, showing my ring. "It's old. Does that count?"

"Perfect!" Peyton nodded.

"Girls, we have to go," Haley urged. "Are you ready, Brooke?"

I took one last look in the mirror. "Yes," I said softly. "Now I'm ready."

 ** **Julian's POV****

 **In the church**

Brooke looked beautiful in her white bridal gown as she walked the aisle to the altar. Like an angel. My heart began to beat excitedly with anticipation. This beautiful woman belonged to me, my great love, the mother of my children! Brooke was everything I had ever dreamt of. When she smiled at me, I smiled back and suddenly remembered our first meeting. How she had asked me for tutoring her. And then our first real meeting, where I had fallen head over heels in love with her when she had performed that silly dance from 'Breakfast Club'. And then there had been our first time, on the beach, in the waves of the ocean. Even then there had been no other woman for me. I only had wanted her. Sometimes destiny made strange detours, only to find the right path back. We had found each other, had lost and had found each other again. When she had reached me and placed her hand in mine, I knew that I had found the woman who made my life whole. As the priest began his speech, Brooke looked deep into my eyes and smiled. And for a moment, I forgot everything around me and focused only on her.

"Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to join this man and this woman in holy matrimony. Today, Julian and Brooke proclaim their love to the world with these words. Julian."

I took her hands. „Brooke... Before I met you, I thought my world had everything I needed to be happy. I had nothing else to compare it to. Then you walked into my life, and everything changed. I realized how empty my world was without you in it. And my old life was no longer capable of making me happy, not without you. I love everything about you, Brooke. I love the way you challenge me like no one ever has. I love the way you look at me like no one ever has. I love the way you love me like no one ever has. And I love you for giving me the greatest gift a woman can give to a man; our children." I put my hand tentatively on her belly. "I can't imagine spending my life without you. And if you say yes to me in a few minutes, I won't have to. You look beautiful, by the way." My speech was over, and now it was Brooke's turn. Tears were in her eyes as she started her speech.

"Julian... Before I met you, my world revolved around one thing. Me. And I liked it that way, on my own. But then I met you, and you saw through the facade. You saw me. You've taught me to trust, how to let someone in, and what it truly means to fall in love. I can't possibly describe how much I love you, so I'll tell you why I love you. You see the world in a way that no one else does, and you appreciate everything… Including me. There's no one in the world like you. And if you say yes in a few minutes, I'll get to spend the rest of my life trying to see the world through your eyes, appreciating everything… Including you, the most unique, wonderful man and father I know."

"Brooke and Julian," the priest took over again. "You came here today to exchange these vows. Julian, do you take Brooke to be thy wedded wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health as long as you both shall live?"

My voice was a little hoarse as I made my promise. "I do." And then it was Brooke's turn.

"Brooke, do you take this man to be thy wedded husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health so long as you both shall live?"

"I do," she said in a low, strangled voice, tears streaming down her cheeks.

Now it was time to exchange rings, and I looked to my left, where Justin stood and held the ring in his hands. Brooke turned to Haley, who placed my ring in Brooke's hand. I took her left hand. "Brooke, this ring symbolizes my desire for you to be my wife from this day forward."

"Julian, this ring symbolizes my desire for you to be my husband from this day forward."

"If anyone can show just cause why this couple should not be joined together, speak now..."

I made the mistake and looked to the gathered community where my parents were sitting in the front row holding Jude and Davis in their laps. And apparently Davis had something to complain about because he started to cry all of a sudden and without warning. I smiled involuntarily, realizing that it wouldn't take long for Jude to join in his brother's screaming. And it didn't take long for the church to be filled with the loud crying of our twins. Brooke gave me a helpless look, and I just shrugged. Luckily, my parents reacted quickly and carried the two screaming toddlers out of the church so that the priest could continue with the wedding ceremony.

The priest cleared his throat. "Well, in that case...," he said and smiled. "By the power vested in me by the state of North Carolina, I now pronounce you husband and wife."

"May I kiss my wife now?" I asked, winking at Brooke.

"Of course, what are you waiting for?"

She nestled in my arms, and under the thunderous applause of the guests, we kissed each other in front of the community and of God. "Are you happy?" I asked her softly when we had finished the kiss.

"Like crazy. I can barely express in words how happy I am," she confessed with a smile, reaching for my hand. "But we should go outside and look for your parents," she said. "I want to make sure that the twins are okay."

Haley joined us and hugged Brooke and then me.

"Congratulations!" She smiled and then turned to Brooke. "I'll take care of the twins if you want," she offered her help. "Then I can relieve Sylvia and Paul a little bit."

"That was embarrassing!" Brooke rolled her eyes. "When Davis started to cry, I wished the ground would open and swallow me!"

"You don't really believe that he has anything against your marriage," Haley said with a chuckle. "The twins are barely 2 years old and don't even understand what all this bustle means. They were probably just tired."

"Yeah, me too," Brooke admitted and yawned.

I looked at her worriedly. It was time for her to take a break. The doctors had no reservations about the wedding, but they had also made it clear that she should take it easy. "Okay, we'll go and receive the good wishes and then you take a break," I said with a serious expression.

"And what about the wedding dance?" She asked with a frown.

"Later. You need some rest now." I wrapped an arm around her waist and then placed my hand on her rounded belly. "And if you don't want to do it for you, do it for our 'cookie'.

"You call your baby 'cookie'?" Haley asked with a grin.

"Just until we found a proper name," I said quickly. "Okay, let's go over to the reception."

"And I'm looking for Sylvia and Paul and the twins," Haley said, then left the church.

I looked to the guests, who were all waiting to congratulate us. "Are you ready for big handshakes and hugs?" I asked Brooke, smiling.

"Yes, I am."

She put on her best smile, and together we accepted the best wishes of our guests and family members.


	43. Chapter 43

**Brooke's POV**

 **Brooke's and Julian's house**

Too fast one of the happiest days in my life had come to an end. And when Julian and I snuggled up in bed to spend our wedding night together in the evening, I wasn't only happy but exhausted too.

"Was that how you imagined it?" He asked softly.

I nodded and put my arm around him. "It was amazing and everyone was there to celebrate with us," I said with a smile. "And I think your parents are happy as well that we got married in a 'proper way', so to speak."

"Wasn't it too much for you?" He asked worriedly.

I shook my head. "I had time to rest in between. So it wasn't too strenuous," I reassured him. "It's just a pity we can't have a real wedding night now."

"We'll do some catching up on it later, okay?"

I nodded and snuggled closer to him. When he put his hand on my belly, I placed mine over his and closed my eyes. But the peace didn't last long when we suddenly heard crying from the twins' nursery. Groaning softly Julian rolled out of bed. "Stay, I'm going."

Smiling, I looked after him and curled up in my blanket. But again, the peace didn't last long when the door opened again a short time later and he entered the bedroom. His face was grave, and my heart started beating faster in fear. "What's wrong?" I asked worriedly.

"Davis has a fever," he said curtly, reaching for his clothes. "I think it's better if I bring him to the hospital."

My stomach clenched. The word 'hospital' in connection with the twins caused panic even today. I threw back my blanket and jumped out of bed. "I'm coming with you!" I said determinedly.

"You had enough excitement for today," he decided. "I really want you to stay here and rest."

I knew he was worried about our unborn baby, but my son was ill. I couldn't just go to bed and pretend that everything was fine. Slowly I shook my head. "I'm coming with you," I repeated again. "He needs his mother now." I was glad he didn't contradict me anymore. But he probably knew that he couldn't convince me otherwise. I quickly got dressed and then went to the nursery. My heart was beating nervously when I saw my little son, who Sylvia was holding in her arms.

"He was miserable all day," she sighed. "I thought it was the excitement. But I checked his temperature again a few minutes ago, and it's really high."

"How high?" I asked worriedly, taking my crying baby in my arms and feeling his forehead. Startled, I stared at Julian as I pulled my hand away. "He's glowing!"

"I told you that his fever is very high," Sylvia said.

Terrified, I looked at her. "How long has he had such a high fever?" I asked her.

"In the beginning, he only had slightly elevated temperature," she said, looking at me embarrassed. "As I said, I thought it was the excitement or the teeth."

"And why didn't you say anything, or Haley? You've been taking care of him all day." I noticed that tears were running down my cheeks as Julian looked at me worriedly.

"Please, calm down, Brooke! We're going to the hospital now and they'll find out what is wrong with him." He looked at his mother. "You're watching Jude and Justin, okay?"

Sylvia nodded. "And you'll get in touch, if you know something, right?"

Julian nodded. "I'll call from the hospital," he promised.

Davis had stopped crying and had fallen asleep when we were in the car driving towards the hospital.

"Don't blame my mom," Julian interrupted the silence.

I looked at him in surprise. "I don't blame her. What makes you think that?"

"When you asked her how long he had the fever, it sounded like you didn't trust her." He cleared his throat. "If you are looking for someone you can blame, it's me, because I knew he had a fever."

"What?" I stared at him in disbelief. "You knew it?"

He nodded. "Haley came to me and said he had slightly elevated temperature. She had a thermometer with her and could check it."

"And why didn't you tell me?"

"Because I didn't want you to worry unnecessarily," he admitted after a moment's hesitation. "I also thought that a slightly elevated temperature would come from the excitement. I couldn't have known that things would turn worse."

I closed my eyes. "Stop doing this!" I said as calmly as possible, even though I wanted to yell at him.

"What do you mean?" He asked, frowning.

"Handle me with kid gloves and coddling me!" I put my hands on my belly. "The doctor just said that I should take it easy with walking around. He didn't say anything about keeping all the problems away from me. It can't be that you all sneak around me for the next few weeks and months and pretend it's none of my business!"

"Brooke..."

"No, Julian. Now you are listening to me!" I took a deep breath. "I'm capable of becoming aware by myself when something is getting too exhausting. I don't need anyone to ask me all the time, 'Are you all right?' or 'Are you in pain?' or 'Don't stress yourself'." I rolled my eyes. "I'm grateful for your help, but I will tell you in time when I'm not feeling well."

"Can I say something to it?"

"When I'm done," I said and continued. "It's outrageous that you keep important things from me just because you are afraid that I could lose the baby! You didn't even tell me that my son was ill!"

"That's not true," he retorted. "We told you."

"Yes, when it was too late," I countered sharply.

"We're there."

He totally ignored me as he took Davis out of the car seat and then headed for the emergency room. Fortunately, we didn't have to wait long for a doctor who then took our son to a treatment room and examined him thoroughly.

"He has an inflammation of the middle ear," the doctor said after completing the examination. "I'll prescribe fever suppositories and an antibiotic in juice form. Please give him 3 times daily for at least one week. With the suppositories, the fever will quickly drop. So don't worry."

He shook hands with us, handed the prescription and then left us with our son alone. I looked at Julian, who had tightly closed his lips. "I'm sorry," I said softly. "What I said may have been a bit... harsh."

"Don't worry. In the future, I won't ask you how you are feeling or tell you to rest. You know best what's best for you, right?"

As he lifted Davis from the exam table and then headed for the exit, I followed him slowly behind. "Julian..." I started, but he cut my sentence off with a brusque gesture.

"Let's get the medicine and then get out of here," he said curtly.

 _Our first argument as a newly re-married couple_ , I thought and followed him to the car a little later. Also on the way home Julian didn't speak a single word with me. Probably out of fear of saying something wrong. After I had given Davis a fever suppository and he had fallen asleep again, I went back to the bedroom. Julian was already in bed, lying on his side with his eyes closed. I quickly undressed, slipped next to him and put my arm around him. "I'm sorry," I whispered before closing my eyes and falling asleep almost instantly.


	44. Chapter 44

**Brooke's POV**

 **Four months later**

My speech to Julian seemed to have made a real difference, because he had stopped making comments on my health and tolerated when I did something he thought was wrong. Although he had stepped back a bit, I also knew that he still kept an eye on me in the background. Especially now that there were only three weeks before the expected date of our baby girl's delivery. This time it was indeed a little girl. With this my greatest wish became true, and I knew that Julian could hardly wait to hold our baby in his arms, too. Haley had called the previous day and had asked if I would like to have coffee and cake with her and Peyton for the last time before the delivery, and I had agreed. Placing my big belly behind a steering wheel hadn't been that easy but fortunately the ride had been short, so I hadn't stayed in that position for long. I was about to knock on the front door when Haley opened it.

"Brooke!" She exclaimed. "How nice to see you."

I frowned in confusion. "Why are you so surprised to see me? You invited me," I reminded her.

"Yes, that's right." She tapped on her forehead. "Sometimes I'm a bit forgetful." She quickly stepped out of the door and closed it. "Are you all right?" She asked worriedly.

"Yeah, I'm fine," I mumbled, pointing to the locked door. "Don't you want to go inside?" I saw her pacing back and forth, looking at the door nervously.

"Oh no," she said quickly. "I'm so stupid! I forgot to take my keys outside."

"Is anybody at home?" I asked, frowning. "Jamie, Nathan, or is Peyton already there?"

She shook her head quickly. "No, I'm alone," she said curtly.

"But I can hear that someone's there," I said, moving closer to the door. And indeed I could hear voices and suppressed laughter from inside. I put my hands on my hips. "Haley, what's going on here?" I demanded to know.

Embarrassed, she grinned and then knocked on the door, which was opened promptly. "You almost messed up our surprise," she said, letting me enter.

For a moment I held my breath surprised. Haley had redecorated the living room. Everywhere you looked, you saw pink balloons, stuffed animals, and on a line, stretched across the room, were baby bodysuits and huge pacifiers made of plastic. On the table were packages, all decorated with pink and white bows. I couldn't believe it. Haley had actually given me a baby shower party! And all of my friends had come, including my mother and Sylvia.

"Where are the twins?" I asked her startled, because we had actually agreed that she should take care of the twins, while I was at Haley for coffee and cake.

"They're upstairs, sleeping, with Lydia in the nursery," Haley explained reassuringly. "Sylvia wanted to attend the baby shower party, and since you asked her to take care of the twins, we had to find another solution."

Relieved, I exhaled and then let myself be hugged by everyone. "That was a great surprise," I said, after we had all sat down on the sofa and in the armchairs. "Thanks a lot! I can't believe I didn't find out before."

"We had already planned a baby shower party when you were pregnant with the twins," Peyton interjected. "But then they were born premature. And this time, we were hoping you'd be a little longer pregnant." She grinned. "And it worked."

I stroked my belly and smiled. "Yes, my baby girl is fortunately not in such a hurry as her brothers."

"Don't you want to unpack your gifts?" Sylvia asked pointing to the table, where several packages were piled up.

"I'm sure I'll be busy all day," I said with a grin, picking up the first gift. In fact, it really took several hours to unpack everything. But I enjoyed being the center of attention and laughing with my friends and sharing the latest gossip. The time just flew by. We had just finished drinking coffee when suddenly I felt a strange feeling of pressure in my lower abdomen. "Okay, I think I have to go pee," I said with a tight smile and got up slowly.

"I already wondered how you could wait so long," Peyton said with a grin. "When I was pregnant with Sawyer, I had to go to the bathroom every 5 minutes."

I didn't reply on her comment, but went straight to the bathroom. Something was wrong. I clearly could feel that. The feeling of pressure had become worse, and I instinctively began to breathe shallower. Were these already contractions? Only a few days ago I had the 'cerclage' removed again, which I had already had when I was pregnant with the twins. But the doctor had told me that it would take at least two more weeks before labor would start. But it felt different this time. I wasn't in pain, just felt that pressure in my lower abdomen. Maybe it meant nothing, and it was just normal in this state of pregnancy, I tried to calm myself. I took another deep breath and then walked back to the others.

"Brooke, are you okay?" Haley asked worriedly.

I was just about to reply that I was fine when I suddenly noticed something wet running down my legs and forming a puddle on the ground.

"Oh my God, Brooke! Your water just broke!"

I stared at the floor and only gradually realized what Peyton meant.

"Lie down, Brooke!"

Haley grabbed my arm and shoved me over to the sofa. Although I still couldn't feel any pain, I knew that labor had started. I burst into tears and reached for Sylvia's hand. "Please, can you call Julian?" I asked in a choked voice.

She looked up at Haley. "Shall I tell him to go to the hospital right away, or should he come here?"

"He should go to the hospital right away," she decided. "There we'll meet. I'll call the ambulance now. I can't risk to drive her in my car."

When Sylvia got up and went to the phone, my mother sat down next to me.

"Don't worry, my dear," she said in a calm voice. "Help is coming soon."

"Mom, I'm scared," I confessed and grabbed her hand. This time I wanted a natural childbirth, but as it seemed, my baby girl had other plans. Tears of despair were running down my cheeks. Luckily, the ambulance didn't take very long, because when it finally arrived, I also felt the first contractions. Haley was at my side during the drive to the hospital, holding my hand as I tried to breathe through the labor pains.

"Peyton, your mother and Sylvia are coming as well," Haley said, wiping my sweaty forehead. "And Julian is already waiting in the hospital."

"I'm... sorry..." I stammered.

"What do you mean?" She asked confused.

"I ruined your... baby shower party." I grabbed her hand and squeezed hard as another contraction hit me.

"You didn't ruin anything. Don't worry about it. The important thing is that you get to the hospital as soon as possible so that your baby can be born."

Somehow, I no longer really believed that we would make it to the hospital in time, because in the meantime the contractions followed so quickly that there was no break between them. But finally, the ambulance arrived in time, and they quickly brought me to the delivery room, where Julian was already waiting for us. He switched places with Haley and took my hand. I could see the fear and concern in his eyes as he bent over me. I had expected that they would bring me right to the OR to make the c-section. But apparently it was too late this time, because when the doctor asked me to push, it took only a few minutes until a soft whimpering was filling the room. Julian had tears in his eyes as he bent down and kissed me.

"You made it, Brooke."

"Congratulations!" said the doctor. "It's a girl."

It was different this time. I was allowed to keep my baby with me right away after the delivery. I gently stroked her small back and the little head, where you could already see fine hair fluff. Although she was three weeks early, she was stronger than the twins and healthy. I looked at Julian. "Are we giving her the name we had decided before?" I asked him.

He first looked at me and then stroked gently the baby's cheek.

"Welcome to Tree Hill, Isabella Baker," he said smiling.

It was several hours later, Isabella slept quietly in her cot beside the bed, as Julian lay down next to me and put me in his arms. "Are you happy?" He asked softly.

"Perfectly happy," I confessed and snuggled closer to him. "Do you remember when I told you back then that I was scared we would destroy it someday?"

He nodded. "Why do you remember this now?" He asked, frowning.

"I'm not scared anymore," I confessed to him softly. "I know now that this with us will go on forever."

He looked deep into my eyes. "Our love will last forever. I promise you that, Brooke."

As he leaned over to me, I put my hands behind his neck and pulled him down until our lips met. There was a shared future ahead of us, and I looked forward to what would come. I had always been in doubt of my future because I had been afraid of the unknown. But now with Julian by my side, I knew he would support me no matter what would happen in the future. Trustingly, I snuggled closer to him, closed my eyes and dreamed of an unknown future.


End file.
